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First time effort.

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.


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Pam felt good, as if she had had several glasses of wine. (In fact, she had only drank one with dinner, and that was hours ago.) Although things had started off a bit awkward, they had agreed to put off any serious discussion until later. Once that was decided, they quickly found their old rhythm. Soon enough it was like old times with Jim – talking about their colleagues, and filling each other on the things they had missed. She still couldn't believe she was out on a date with him, the events of the past 12 hours hadn't completely sunk in yet. It was like a dream.

“I hope you had a good time tonight.” said Jim, perhaps a bit too earnestly, as they approached Pam's apartment door.

Pam was starting to get confused. This seemed like the 10th time that Jim had said this, or something similar.

“I am having a wonderful time, Jim. You don't have to worry – first dates can always be awkward at times, no matter who they are with.”

“It's just important that you have a good time, that's all.” Jim said in an soft, uncertain tone.

“Why?” she asked, although she immediately regretted the question once she saw the look on Jim's face. All night long she had avoided looking him in the eyes, because every time she did, she saw it. It was still there, or more accurately, it was back. The heartbreak of Casino Night had obviously never left Jim, it had just been buried, along with so much else over the past year. Now that he was with Pam, on their first date, he had in some way emotionally picked up where they left off. Even if it wasn't conscious, the words “I can't” were still ringing in his ears.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean to...You don't have to.” He stammered, looking like he just realized he made a terrible mistake.

Pam gently grabbed Jim's arm and looked up at him. Really looked at him, deeply, for the first time that evening. His eyes were like flashing neon sign, advertising exactly what he was feeling at the moment. Fear. Uncertainty. LOVE. Like the heartache, it was still there as well. Until a few hours ago, when Jim had burst in on her talking head, she thought that light might have burned out forever. But now as she stared into his beautiful eyes, she saw it again. It was there like it had been from the day they first met. Back then it took her a while to recognize. And then she spent a long time pretending it was something else. For the past year, she had searched for it, losing hope. It had been hidden, but not extinguished. It was there, burning for her. But she had to care for it.

For the rest of her days, Pam would always be able to recall this moment with absolute clarity. Because that's exactly what she felt. Absolute clarity. Absolute comprehension. Total awareness. It was a strange sensation – she felt calm. She felt...silent. No more doubt, no more silly questions, or stupid fears. This was it. He was it. They were it.

All her life, Pamela Beesly had felt like she was on the verge of something special. She believed it when her mother told her that everyone had something special about them. She was just never sure what her something special was – until now. It wasn't her. It wasn't really Jim either. Not exactly. It was them. They were special. Together. And now that she realized it, she almost laughed out loud. It all seemed so obvious, to NOT have seen it before seemed like a joke.

Jim couldn't place the strange look on Pam's face. She looked so calm, serene. As if she had come to some kind of conclusion. Had he screwed up? Had he pushed too hard? He mistook her momentary silence for something else.

“Pam, I'm sorry. I was just kid....” She stopped him with a finger to his lips.

“Shhhh.” She said softly, moving her hand to his cheek. “It's alright Jim.  I know it too.”

He was confused by her sudden change in demeanor, and at that moment, he did not know what she was talking about. “Know what too?” Jim asked.

Pam moved her other hand to Jim's face, and made him look at her. “I know that this is the last first date I will ever have. Thank you for making it so memorable.”

She said it so seriously, he thought she might be joking. Still unsure about anything, about everything when it came to Pam, he couldn't really process what she was saying. He couldn't allow himself to do it, because that meant risking it all again. Jim's act of bravery that night one year ago had cost him dearly.

Pam saw all of this. She understood better than he did. She also understood that she had to be the brave one now. Just as he had jarred her awake that night, she had to be the one to bring Jim all the way back now.

Still holding his face in her hands, she completed the puzzle for them both. “I love you Jim.” It shocked her how amazing it felt to say it aloud. “I love you." she repeated. "And I can.”

Jim heard her, but his heart wasn't ready to listen. He had despaired of hearing those words for so long, that when they came, they almost didn't register. She loves me? What did she mean?

“You love me?” He sounded so surprised, it was almost comical. He was on autopilot, though, still trapped by his fears. Of course he had dreamed of such a moment, but it had always stayed a dream. To have really believed that it could come true meant risking it all again; it meant being vulnerable.

“Absolutely I do.” Pam said, in the same tone she had used with Dwight earlier that day when he had asked her if she wanted to be Secret Assistant to the Regional Manager.

Her words meant everything, but it was her smile that finally set Jim free. It was almost a smirk – anyone else might have even called it mocking. But he knew it immediately for what it was. It was his smile, the one that nobody else would ever see. It was just for him.  And just like that, Jim was back.  For good.

He leaned forward and kissed her, gently pressing his lips to hers. It was tender, but filled with passion. This was truly their first real kiss, because it was so filled with real meaning. As he grabbed her hips to pull her closer, a silent agreement was reached. A pact was made. They would be together. Nothing would come between them. Especially not themselves.

In a voice barely above a whisper, he told her what they both already knew. “I have always loved you Pam.”

She looked at him, her eyes dancing. “Words, Halpert. Just words.” She said with a smile. And now she was mocking him. She was playing with him, as only Pam could play with Jim.

He loved it. His eyes widened slightly. His eyebrows went up, in that quizzical way that Jim's eyebrows raise when he's curious. Pam thought she might collapse, weighed down by her desire for this man.

“Show me.” She said, no longer mocking, as she turned the knob on her door to open it.

Jim followed Pam into her apartment, and showed her just how deeply he loved her. Repeatedly.



Jim and Pam's “first date” lasted from Friday evening until Tuesday morning, when they left together for work. They had both called in sick on Monday.

Neither of them was entirely surprised when Pam learned she was pregnant 6 weeks later. At one point during that weekend she had actually wondered aloud if one little pill could protect against “that much sex.” The fact that their son was conceived on their "first date" was always a source of immense pride for them.

The were married in a small ceremony on Christmas Eve day. Pam wore a dress that accentuated her burgeoning pregnancy. Jim had never imagined anyone could look so beautiful. If she hadn't already been pregnant, they joked that the honeymoon would have done the trick.

People who knew them as a couple always thought that they were a bit strange. Why were they always touching each other, as if they couldn't bare to be apart?

They lived happily ever after, of course. But those are just words.



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