Pam quickly got into the truck, and pulled the door hard behind her. Slamming the key into the ignition, she revved the engine angrily. Then throwing her seatbelt on, she pulled out of the parking spot quickly and left Roy and Dunder-Mifflin behind her.

     She didn't know where she was going, and at this point didn't care. Her heart was beating quickly, and she felt her lungs gasping to hold onto air. Her face was drenched with tears and she was rubbing her knuckles into her eyes trying to wipe them clean.

    The stop light ahead of her turned yellow and she had to slam on the brakes. When the truck came to a complete stop she began banging her fists hard against the steering wheel. Closing her eyes, she rolled her head back against the headrest and screamed loudly. The tension was releasing from her chest and she was trying to clear her head. Michael's voice was ringing in her ears and she wanted it to stop. She didn't want to believe what he had said, she just wanted it to be silent.

    When the light turned green she slowly stuttered to press on the gas pedal. It was as if she'd lost the power to hold her foot up and to press it firmly enough to get the truck to move. At that moment she realized she shouldn't be on the road. She should just go home, just be alone with out having to deal with anything or anyone, but she couldn't.

    As she continued to drive, she just stared forward, not blinking, hardly breathing and letting her intuitions guide her. Eleven minutes later she turned down a residential street and began counting the houses from the end.

    "...three...four."

    She inhaled deep and felt her stomach drop as she saw the dark cherry wood door. She brought the truck to a crawl and glanced at the driveway, it was empty.

    "Where is he?"

    Small droplets of sweat began to form under her hair draped across her neck. Her heart began to race again and she finally stepped on the brake, bringing the truck to a complete stop in the middle of the road. Dropping her face down, she stared at her lap. Her shoulders drooping and her chest still shaking from the tears that refused to stop.

    How could this be? How could he do this?

    With everything they had been through and the experience they shared the night before, Pam couldn't comprehend what was happening. Her life had been flipped upside down and what she thought she knew was gone. Her head, her heart, her emotions, her intuitions, her body were all betraying her. It was as if her soul had lied to her for years and she was now paying the price.

    She didn't notice the cars slowly having to pass around her every few minutes. She didn't hear the faint honks and barking dogs of the neighborhood. All should could think about was Jim.

    She slowly lifted her fingers to her lips and pressed them softly against the skin. She was sure they were still warm from his touch even hours later. She sighed gently and pulled her hand away slowly, allowing it to drop back in to her lap. When she looked back up she realized she had parked in the middle of the road so she pulled the truck over to a side street and parked it near the corner. It was close enough to see when he came back home but possibly far enough that he wouldn't see her or recognize the truck. Pam knew that if Jim saw the vehicle he would recognize it instantly and the fear that he would confront her caused chills to rush over her spine. She wanted to be able to stay in the truck to watch but was afraid he'd see her. After a few moments of internal conflict she decided to just stay where she was and deal with it if he decided to talk to her.

    It made her angry to think that she was actually fearing the sight of him.

    Her emotions began to shift and her blood began to boil. She realized he had to have a lot of nerve to throw his emotions at her and not expect some hesitation. He knew she was engaged. He knew the situation and he decided that he wasn't having it anymore. He didn't even think of what she might have to deal with and it angered her. He had been selfish and she wanted to tell him how childish he was acting. She quickly folded her arms in front of her and huffed angrily. Her eyebrows were furrowed and she was biting on her bottom lip. The tears of sorrow were morphing into blind anger.

    After 20 minutes she began to relax and remember the good times. Her heart slowed down and her eyes felt heavy. The adrenaline rush was gone and the crying had drained her emotionally. She slowly closed her eyes and felt herself drifting off. She was so exhausted she didn't even realize she was falling asleep.

****

    *tap tap tap*

    "Pam?"

    *tap tap*

    She slowly opened her eyes and felt disoriented. The sun was setting in the distance and she couldn't remember where she was.

    "Pam."

    She heard her name and turned her head to look out the window. She gasped as the memory of the morning came rushing back with one glance. She found herself eye to eye with Jim. He had been trying to wake her for the last few minutes, tapping gently on the driver's window so he wouldn't startle her.

    When he came home he noticed the truck right away. She had parked it so the front end was practically sticking out and he knew it was her. He had actually had a moment earlier in the day when he envisioned going home and she would be there waiting for him with open arms. Yet, when he saw the truck his first reaction was that she had told Roy and he was waiting there for Jim to come home. Then he saw the faint outline of curly hair and his palms began to sweat.

    When he approached the truck he kept thinking she was going to rush out and either hug him or punch him and she hadn't done either. Then he saw her through the windshield and noticed her eyes closed. She looked angelic, sleeping quietly with the sun shining through the window across her face. He had just watched her for a minute or two before he knew he had to wake her. He just wanted to enjoy the site of her.

    He had dreamt of that vision. Her laying next to him, asleep in his arms and he wanted to see what she really looked like when she slept. She was beautiful and he loved her so much. It hurt to just look at her anymore and now she was sleeping outside of his home, waiting for him.

    The emotions that were involved were so intense he knew he had to leave town as quickly as possible. It was never going to get any better, if she couldn't love him back he couldn't deal with it any longer.

    "Are you okay?"

    His voice was muffled on the outside of the glass. She ran her hands over her face and unbuckled her seatbelt slowly, then unlocked the truck door and pushed it open. Jim held onto the handle and pulled it gently for her. Her feet fell softly onto the ground below her and she suddenly felt so small. He was towering over her and she felt so vulnerable.

    "Um... what are you doing here?"

    He already knew why, well he assumed why, he just didn't know how to handle the situation. As much as their relationship had been close, and the two of them were best friends, they weren't the most honest and open about their feelings. He didn't know what to do.

    She folded her arms in front of herself and hugged her body tight. She wanted to hit him, flail her hands over and over again at his chest but she knew that wouldn't resolve anything so she hugged herself instead.

    "Michael, um... he said," she stopped and looked up at him, catching his eye and trying to read his thoughts. "Stamford?" Pursing her lips tightly, she stifled back a sob. She didn't want to stand in front of him and let him see her falling apart.

    "Yeah," he swallowed hard and felt a lump growing in his throat. "Jan, uh... she said they had an Assistant Regional Manager position and, um, that I'd be perfect. I was actually over there today, you know... checking it out."

    "Why..."

    "Pam, I wanted to say something..."

    "Stop it, just stop it. No you didn't, or you would have Jim."

    He just nodded and began chewing on his bottom lip. He shoved his hands deep into his pants pockets and felt guilty. She was right, he was hoping he was going to get to leave with out ever having to see her again. Maybe out of sight out of mind would work and he could ignore the pang that plagued him day in and day out.

    "Pam... I'm sorry but I can't stay."

    "Why? Why are you doing this?"

    He looked down at her baffled. Did she really not understand, did she really not comprehend that he was being tortured?

    "I just have to."

    "Fine. I-I really... I gotta go." She threw her arms down and turned away from him.

    He reached out and touched her shoulder, just wanting to hold her and tell her it was okay, but she pulled away in obvious pain.

    "Pam, wait."

    "No, I've been gone for awhile and Roy is probably wondering where I am. I didn't tell him I was coming here. He's probably worried."

    At the mention of Roy, Jim backed away from her and remembered his place in her heart. She would never be his and he couldn't change that.

    "Yeah, he's probably worried."

    "I'll talk to you later."

    She knew that wouldn't be true however, she knew that this was it, there wouldn't be a later. She stepped back into the truck and pulled the door tightly closed behind her. The key was still in the ignition and she turned it slowly, powering the vehicle back on.

    As she drove away, Jim just watched the tail lights disappear into the darkness.