Jim went back to the office, feeling he had the proper supplies for his big trip with Dwight. Following Angela's phone call, he had a few plans to thwart the mission of hunting. He figured there would also be plenty of opportunities to mess with Dwight on the fly.
He tried to figure out why he was playing along with all this on a silly dare. It also seemed odd to actually head out with Dwight in his free time, voluntarily putting himself in his presence. Plus, it seemed a bit meaner to mess with him when he wasn't trying to just relieve the boredom.
After all, the last time he had been possessed to prank Dwight outside of the office he had found a hooker. It could also have possibly been Angela in retrospect, but he liked to believe that he had not seen Angela sprawled naked across a bed.
In this version of events, Jim could actually continue to look Angela in the eye when he turned in his expense reports.
Jim returned to the office just before 5, packed and ready to roll. Pam laughed when he saw him, gun slung over his shoulders.
"You're really going through with this," Pam said skeptically.
"Does the dare still stand? Have you not realized how much you'll miss me this weekend?"
Pam looked thoughtful. "Dare still stands. I think I will enjoy having some time to myself. You can be really exhausting, you know."
Pam smiled at him to show that she was teasing. But it was clear the dare still stood, and she was waiting to see if he would back down.
"Looks like I am hunting then. But don't be so sure you'll get any alone time."
Jim smiled broadly when Pam shot him a puzzled look.
"What do you mean?" Pam asked, looking worried.
"Let's just say I had a concerned animal lover calling on me to thwart Dwight's ability to actually kill anything. And I might have told said concerned animal lover how lonely you'd be without me."
Pam's jaw dropped. "You didn't!"
Jim just smiled and nodded.
As though summoned, Angela appeared. "W'hy do you have a gun?" she asked sternly.
"It's just a BB gun," Jim answered.
This statement brought Dwight out of the woodwork.
"Jim, why do you have a BB gun?"
"It's the only gun I have. I figured it was good enough. Is that a problem?"
Dwight let out a sigh. "You cannot carry something so weak into the wild. The animals will sense you can be taken, and they may attack. The gun levels the playing field. It's kill or be killed."
"With deer?" Jim asked.
"Deer can be quite vicious. Do you want to see the scars?"
Pam looked disgusted. "No!"
Angela was standing back, arms crossed and indignant. "I am going back to my corner now," she said tersely, without a glance at Dwight.
Jim and Pam looked at each other, and Jim shrugged.
"I guess some people don't like hunting, huh?" Jim prodded.
"A lot of people don't understand the beauty of strategically following prey through the woods, carefully analyzing its every move. Then you spot it in your line of sight, and pull the trigger, showing the animal who is stronger. It's a magnificent showing of power," Dwight said seriously, slightly awed by his own words.
"But isn't it really the gun that's powerful?" Pam asked.
"A common misconception. People created guns. Hence, people are powerful and therefore rule the animal kingdom."
"Yes, I see that now. I think there's a lot you can teach Jim," Pam told him earnestly.
"He clearly has a lot to learn. I don't know if I can teach him a lot of what I know, as it is the primitive Schrute instinct that makes us gifted hunters," Dwight said, looking at Jim skeptically.
Jim nodded, looking stoic. "I am ready to begin whenever you are."
"I have one more call to make, then we can leave," Dwight said, heading back to his desk.
Jim stayed at Pam's desk. "Wow. This might be the most ridiculous thing I've ever done."
Pam shrugged. "No, there was that one time.....No, you're right. I think it is the most ridiculous thing you've ever done."
"Well, you dared me. Have fun with Angela," Jim reminded her.
"That was a low move," Pam said, shaking her head. Then she was suddenly alert, and pointed at Jim. "Wait! Did you even know about them before?"
"Yes, unfortunately through an imagine that will remain in my head forever," Jim told her. "I know you had your suspicions before, but I didn't really believe it."
"It wasn't something I really wanted to discuss," Pam said, leaving it unspoken that she and Jim hadn't really been speaking much anyhow until recently.
"Beesly, I am not at all angry that we have never discussed this relationship. This power play call Angela made is really messed up. Maybe she'll share this weekend how she wields that power in other ways," Jim smirked at her.
"That's even lower. And gross."
"You started this, and now we're going down together," Jim told her.
"Have a good weekend," Pam said.
"You too," Jim told her.
It appeared neither of them was relenting, so Jim went to see if Dwight was ready. Which he was, and then some.
"Luckily, I have another rifle I can let you use in my car. It is nowhere near the quality of my rifle, but it will suffice. And you will need to wear camouflage. "
"Okay. I also have one of those orange vests, so you won't shoot me," Jim said.
"I am far too well-trained with superb vision for that to happen. I would never shoot you. By accident, that is." Dwight shot the cameras a sly look.
"Are they coming too?" Dwight asked, his head angling towards the camera.
Jack, one of the cameramen, answered. "I drew the short straw."
"Excellent. I have both a witness and someone to call for help in case I end up shot."
"Likewise," Jack said.
"Well, let's get this show on the road!" Jim said, slinging his BB gun over his shoulder, along with his backpack crammed with all his trip essentials.
Dwight glared at him, shaking his head at Jim's BB gun.
Jim waved goodbye to Pam on his way out. "Don't feel too guilty when you're giving my eulogy."
Pam just smiled and waved back. Angela had crept up to the middle of the office, and caught his eye. She raised an eyebrow at him, looking stern. Jim returned her look, and nodded once. Angela then slowly smiled, looking alarmingly sinister.
Jim just prayed that Dwight wasn't going to be in a sharing mood this weekend. The more he saw, the less he wanted to know.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Well, in my outline they left the office sooner, but this seemed like a more natural break. I promise the hunting trip actually begins next chapter!
I don't own any of them, or anything.
I don't own any of them, or anything.
Chapter End Notes:
Next, as promised: A huntin' we will go!
Please tell me what you think. This has been a bit tricky for me, as I don't want to lose the reigns and go too over the top, given that the situation is fairly ridiculous to begin with. But I do find Dwight's hunting obsession and Angela's vegetarianism to be interesting, and I also just got this image of Jim and Dwight hunting in my head and it wouldn't leave.
Anyhow, with all that, I hope you're enjoying it!
Please tell me what you think. This has been a bit tricky for me, as I don't want to lose the reigns and go too over the top, given that the situation is fairly ridiculous to begin with. But I do find Dwight's hunting obsession and Angela's vegetarianism to be interesting, and I also just got this image of Jim and Dwight hunting in my head and it wouldn't leave.
Anyhow, with all that, I hope you're enjoying it!
Becca Lavender is the author of 3 other stories.
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