She is way too tired for this.

It’s 9:25 on a Monday and she’s already had to fix three jams in the copier (thank you, Michael) and two more in the fax machine (again, Michael).  She appreciates that he’s helping Jan find work after her ten month “sabbatical,” but she was up way too late last night and really can’t handle jammed machines AND Michael now standing in front of her desk, sighing loudly, first thing in the morning.

“Michael, do you need anything else?”

“A plan, Pam!  I need a plan!

“For what?”

“For Jan.  I mean, duh!  Obviously, for Jan!”

“A career plan?”

“No!  A plan to get Jan out of my apartment.  She’s smothering me…and not just with her breasts.”

Now it’s her turn to sigh.

Jim is no help.  He’s just sitting there on his phone, talking to some customer or potential customer…or maybe he’s just pretending to be on the phone so he can watch her suffer from his desk.  Yeah, that’s probably it.  He’s still pissed about last night.  He barely said two words to her on the way in and his hands were holding the steering wheel in a particularly tight grip.  She would have been more annoyed, but she was incredibly turned on by his fingers. What the fuck, Pam? 

She really hates hormones sometimes.  If only there was a switch she could flip to turn them off.  Oh, wait.  Did she turn the light off in the bathroom?

Suddenly her phone rings and Michael heads back into his office.  He reminds her of Charlie Brown, and in her mind she hears the music that should accompany him as he takes slow, pathetic steps away from her with his head down.  Sometimes he makes her want to cry for reasons not related to anger or embarrassment. 

She makes eye contact with Jim once Michael shuffles out of her line of sight and he gives her a gentle smile.  He mouths “I’m sorry” to her and she mouths “Me, too” to him, and they share a silent laugh.  She points to the kitchen and he nods in that adorable way that he does pretty much everything, and it isn’t until she’s passing his desk, hearing his phone ring, that she realizes she never answered hers. 

Oh, well.

He holds the door open for her and she has to fight the sudden urge to touch him.  Her head feels muddled and her emotions are all over the place, but she knows one thing clearly: she loves him.  It’s that simple.  After years of it being complicated and confusing, it’s now just a statement of fact.

So why was she fighting him?  She knows that he loves her.  He’s proven it more times than she can count and last night was no different.  It took her by surprise, the way she always wanted it to, but lately everything has taken her by surprise and she kind of feels like she’s watching her life from outside of herself.  She’s terrified.

They lean against the counter and she draws small circles on the back of his hand.  He looks at her in that way that never fails to make her toes tingle or her breath catch.  An overwhelming feeling of emotion takes her by surprise and she can feel the tears spring up in her eyes.

“Hey.  What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.  Everything.  But mostly nothing.”

“It’s not like you to cry over nothing.”

“I just feel like everything is happening so fast.  Don’t you feel like it’s all happening too fast?”

“Honestly, things can’t happen fast enough.”

“You’re not scared?”

“To be honest, I’m terrified.  But I spent years being terrified you were going to marry someone else and I would never be able to tell you how I felt.  I think we know how that turned out.”

“Hmmmm….I pushed you away, you moved to another state, we spoke once in six months, and when you moved back here, you had a girlfriend.  Did I miss anything?”

“Okay, see, you’re focusing on the details instead of the big picture.” 

“Sorry.”

“I would have asked you sooner than later, anyway.  It was just a matter of time.” 

She reaches out and pulls him towards her, conscious of how calm she feels at this moment.

“I love you.”

He kisses her forehead and whispers “I love you, too.”  He then leans down to her stomach and whispers “I love you, too.  Oh, and just so you know, your mommy is crazy.”

The tears roll down her cheeks as she runs a hand through his hair.

“Hey.  Ask me again.”

He looks up at her and, after a moment’s hesitation, opens his mouth to speak.

“Will you marry me?”

“Yes.”

Loud clapping startles them both, and when they turn to the doorway, they see Michael practically jumping out of his skin.

“You should get married in the office and I should do the honors!!”

She is way too tired for this.