INT. THE OFFICE-DWIGHT’S DESK
It is morning at Dunder-Mifflin. Dwight sits staring at Jim’s empty chair, a forlorn look on his face. Phyllis walks past him.
PHYLLIS
Good morning, Dwight.
Dwight grunts a response and continues to stare at Jim’s chair. He sighs.
DWIGHT(voiceover)
Yesterday… was Jim Halpert’s last day.
DWIGHT TALKING HEAD
DWIGHT
He told me - in confidence - that only
Pam and Michael knew he was leaving. He
said I should be happy with him gone. And
I was.(beat) For a time. But unlike his
last exit I find myself… annoyed at his
absence. After all, a good hero needs his
foil. His… arch-enemy. And Jim Halpert is
like (beat) the Joker.
(shakes head)
And the Joker doesn’t one day tell Batman “Oh,
I’m leaving for a great job at Staples and
you’ll stay here and have to put up with Andy
and Kelly and… some woman who hates you now!”
(beat, then depressed)
Batman shouldn’t have to work under these conditions.
INT. THE OFFICE-DWIGHT’S DESK
Dwight still sits staring at Jim’s empty chair. Andy rolls over in his chair.
ANDY
Good morning, almost-boss! Did I mention
that you are the only person to success-
fully carry off the post 80’s Don Johnson?
Well… you are.(beat)How do you look in
salmon? And espadrilles?
Dwight turns slightly to Andy.
DWIGHT
Oh, hello… ah…
ANDY
Andy.
Dwight nods.
ANDY
Wow, Schrute-perman. You are level 10
bummed. What’s up?
DWIGHT
Nothing… I was just thinking about Jim…
quitting and everything.
ANDY
What? Tuna quit? No…
DWIGHT
(sadly)
He told me yesterday…
ANDY
No, he couldn’t have quit. He said “See you
tomorrow, Andy!” And then he closed the elevator
doors on me.
DWIGHT
Well, of course he wouldn’t have told you he was
leaving! Why would he tell YOU? I’m his foil! I’m
the… Holmes to his Moriarty!
ANDY
Wait… I probably didn’t hear that right.
Jim… has a Maserati and he keeps it at your
home? No way!
Dwight groans and puts his head into his hands. Just then Jim and Pam enter and Jim comes over to his desk. He slings
his bag onto the back of his chair and sits.
JIM
Morning, Andy.(beat) Dwight.
ANDY
See! Here’s Big Sports Car himself.
DWIGHT
I thought… You said you quit!
JIM
I never said that.
DWIGHT
You TOLD me…
ANDY
You should have seen him, Tuna. He was all
bummed out about a life less Halpert…
JIM
(genuinely shocked)
He was?
DWIGHT
Shut up! I was not!
ANDY
Yes, he was. And oh, by the way, could I
possibly borrow the Maz one night?
(leans in)
That car has got to be the absolute North
Pole of chick magnets.
Jim looks at the camera, a look of utter confusion on his face. He looks then at Dwight, then back to Andy.
JIM
What?
DWIGHT
Ignore him! He’s an idiot and insane.
ANDY
(quietly)
Well… that… was hurtful… and emotionally
damaging.
Andy slides back to his desk, head down. Jim and Dwight watch him go. Then Dwight turns to Jim.
DWIGHT
(hugely annoyed)
You told me you quit! You know you did!
JIM
Delusional, Dwight? Has it come to this?
(shakes head)
DWIGHT
(angry)
Infantile… stupid! Juvenile… sophomoric…!
Dwight runs out of words and glares at his screen. Jim smiles at him and then gets his computer running. We see Dwight still looking at his screen but with the tiniest smile registering on his face.
DWIGHT(voiceover)
NO, I am NOT happy that Jim came back. Why
would I be?
DWIGHT TALKING HEAD
DWIGHT
Is Gotham City happy when the Joker returns
for another wave of terror? Of course not!
(smiles)
It only means that Batman must swing back
into action!
(nods)
