INT. BREAKROOM
Jim, Pam, Kevin and Creed are all sitting in the breakroom. Michael is standing, obviously excited.
MICHAEL
You kidding? I would love to see what a bro-THA
can do in the White House.
(turns to camera)
Which would be misnamed now.
JIM
Well.. um... I do like him. I like the way he
communicates. The way he gets his ideas
across.
MICHAEL
Leadership qualities, Jim. You could learn a thing
or two by watching him speak.
JIm looks at Pam and then the camera.
MICHAEL(continued, to camera)
America, our great nation. Where else in the
world can a black man run to be the leader of
his country and possibly win?
JIM
Well... uh... Haiti...
PAM
Jamaica...
JIM
Most of the continent of Africa....
MICHAEL
Psssh.. alright... That's...
(looks at camera, then shakes head, annoyed)
You... know what I... meant.
PAM
I'm actually still kind of torn between Obama
and Clinton.
KEVIN
A chick in the White House would be HOT.
Even if it is Hillary.
PAM
Kevin...
KEVIN
A chick... in the OVAL office..
(smiles nastily and nods)
JIM
Because... it sounds like oral?
KEVIN
Yeah.
(giggles)
Jim gives a Jim face to the camera and then looks at Pam, who shakes her head.
MICHAEL
They would probably have to change the
Secret Service around with her in the White House.
You can't have guys checking all the ladies rooms.
And she'll be in there FOREVER.
PAM
(annoyed)
I think they actually have women Secret Service
agents.
MICHAEL
No way, really?
KEVIN
Rene Russo played one in
that Clint Eastwood movie.
MICHAEL
Wow. Pam could be a Secret Service
agent. You're hotter than Rene Russo.
JIM
Don't... know if those are the necessary
qualifications, Michael.
MICHAEL
Ah, blahblahBLAH. All she needs is... hey.
(gets excited)
Props. We need props!
(takes off jacket)
Put this on!
PAM
No. I'm not putting on your
jacket, Michael.
MICHAEL
Come on! Just put it on!
Pam rolls her eyes and puts on Michael's jacket. Jim stifles a laugh.
MICHAEL
I'll be back! Got something else!
CREED
Me too!
They both run out. Pam looks at the camera and then Jim.
JIM
Wanting you to put stuff ON
is a refreshing change.
PAM
(sighing)
I guess.
Michael re-enters carrying a toy Uzi. He hands
it to Pam who just stares at it.
MICHAEL
You carry it under your jacket. Whip it
out and start spraying.
(looks at the camera)
That's what she...
PAM
Don't.
JIM
Why do you have this, Michael?
MICHAEL
Oh... Um.. for (beat) you know...
when kids... (beat) for Take Your
Daughter to Work Day.
JIM
The... Uzi is for Take Your Daughter
To Work Day.
MICHAEL
Don't be sexist, Jim. Girls shoot
people too.
Creed re-enters carrying a pair of dark sunglasses. He walks over to Pam and hands them to her.
CREED
They mask your compassion. And
reflect their fear.
PAM
O... k.
Creed scoots over to stand near Michael and Kevin. They all look excited. Pam starts to put the glasses on but pulls them back from her face.
PAM
(nose schrunched up)
These sunglasses smell like garlic.
CREED
(smiling)
Yeah.
Creed just keeps smiling. Pam looks at Jim ,who is fighting to not laugh. She puts the sunglasses on and brandishes the uzi.
PAM
This is so stupid.
She stands next to JIm .
PAM
(Somewhat unenthusiastically)
Don't worry, Mr. President, I'll keep this
riff-raff away from you.
JIM
Riff-raff?
PAM
(laughs)
Shut up. (beat) I'm starting to feel
powerful.
Then a change seems to come over Pam. She takes the glasses off and whips her hair back and forth a bit. She puts them back on slowly. All the men perk up. JIm's smile starts to fall from his face. Pam struts towards Kevin, Michael and Creed, holding the Uzi at her waist. She almost walks past them but suddenly stops and whips the weapon towards them. All three men throw their hands up.
PAM
(breathy)
You boys wouldn't want to bring harm
to the President.. ( beat) would you?
MICHAEL, CREED, KEVIN
No, MA'AM.
PAM
(still breathy)
Because I am authorized to
use... (beat, then even more sexy)
deadly force.
MICHAEL
(eyes wide)
Use deadly force on me.
KEVIN
No, ME.
Pam smiles and struts back over to JIm. Jim's mouth is hung open as he is completely mesmerized by her. Pam gets extremely close to Jim and gently pulls his tie.
PAM
I won't let anything happen to you, (beat).Mr. President.
I have vowed to protect your body...
(pulls Jim closer)
with my body.
There is a pause as Pam and Jim stare at each other, inches apart. Then Pam snorts and giggles. She lets Jim go and takes the glasses off.
PAM
Oh my God, that's the CHEESIEST
thing I have ever said!
(starts to take jacket off)
Alright, that's.. that's enough of that.
As Michael, Creed and Kevin protest and Pam ignores them, Jim still sits with his mouth open and his eye wide.
JIM TALKING HEAD
Jim still has that look on his face. He shakes his head.
JIM
I wonder...
(swallows loudly)
I wonder if Fredricks of Hollywood
makes a Secret Service costume?
(lets out a long slow breath)
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali
© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali