INT. THE OFFICE-JIM AND DWIGHT’S DESKS
Jim and Dwight are working quietly at their computers when Jim’s desk phone rings.
JIM
(picking up phone)
Jim Halpert. (beat then a large smile)
Hey! Just the person I needed to hear
from. (beat)
Nah, just tedious. I…
DWIGHT
(annoyed)
Is that Pam?
JIM
No.
DWIGHT
Yes, it is. You receive far too many personal
calls from her.
JIM
It’s not Pam.
(to person on line)
So, it’s raining here today. What’s it like
in New York?
DWIGHT
(more annoyed)
It is TOO Pam!
JIM
It’s not Pam, Dwight!
(to person on line)
What’s that? (beat) Ok.
(to Dwight)
Troy says to stop distracting me while we
talk, it’s rude.
DWIGHT
Troy? Ryan’s friend?
JIM
Yeah.
DWIGHT
The… hobbit?
JIM
(covering phone)
Hey, hey!
(into phone)
Sorry, he’s sorry!
(to Dwight)
He doesn’t like to be called that.
He’s got kinda a Middle-Earth hang-up.
Doesn’t want to talk about it.
DWIGHT
(leaning towards phone)
I’m… sorry.
(then gets suspicious)
Wait. You’re lying. You hardly
know him.
JIM
Well, before, yeah. But I saw him
a few times when I was visiting
New York. He’s a great guy, really
a fantastic person. We hung out the
whole last weekend.
DWIGHT
You said you went to see Pam.
JIM
(guietly)
Um, yeah. I know. I… told her I was sick
and couldn't travel.
DWIGHT
(wide-eyed)
Jim!
JIM
I know, I know! I just wanted to hang
with Troy some more, you know? He’s an
incredible guy.
Dwight looks stunned as Jim resumes his phone conversation.
JIM
Hey, (beat, then laughs) Yeah, I know.
Listen…
(gets serious, speaks lower)
I... I just wanted to tell you… when we were
walking on the Promenade Friday night…
looking across the river to the city… and
you were telling me how you felt… how the
ring made you feel… I'm just so happy to have
been able to give it to you. I...
DWIGHT
Wait. He has the ring? You gave
him the ring?
JIM
Um... yeah. It’s just some ring.
DWIGHT
Describe it.
JIM
Um… gold. Fancy writing on it. It’s
Ok. Certainly not worth talking to
and calling it names…
(into phone)
What? (beat) Sorry.
(rolls his eyes to Dwight)
Touchy about that ring, too.
DWIGHT
This is incredible.
JIM
(into phone)
You know, I’m gonna call you back at
lunch. (beat) Yeah. Ok. (beat) Uh, um…
(looks at Dwight, then low)
Me too. (beat) No. Uh-uh, not doing it.
(beat) I don’t care if I started it, no
way.(beat) Aw, come on, that’s not fair.
(beat) Wow. Withholding, the ultimate
threat. I’m actually ashamed of you.
(laughs) Oh, you wait… I'm gonna get you.
(sighs)
Fine. Ok…
(looks at Dwight)
I, um…
(clears throat)
I love you, too.
Dwight’s mouth hangs open as Jim sheepishly looks at him and hangs up the phone. We can slightly hear laughter from the phone before Jim replaces the receiver. Jim looks at the camera and then back to Dwight.
JIM
(embarrassed)
He's a... really great guy.
Dwight sort of recoils, gets up and heads to the kitchen, staring at Jim all the while.
DWIGHT TALKING HEAD
DWIGHT
I'm not sure which is more disturbing.
That the ring, the evil creation
of the Dark Lord Sauron, the most powerful
of all the rings, is in the hands of an
obviously corrupted Hobbit... or the fact
that it somehow made Jim Halpert into a
homosexual.
(shakes head)
Author's Chapter Notes:
Another phone conversation opening... and a really silly one at that. But I like to try to write things where there's more than one thing being discussed at the same time. Hope you like! And reviews are like Pam Beesly in glasses. Great to look at. : )
