INT. THE OFFICE-RECEPTION DESK
Ryan is looking down at his computer when we see Jim rise from his desk and tentatively walk over. Ryan looks up as Jim leans on the counter.
JIM
Hey, Ryan.
RYAN
Jim. My man. What’s up?
JIM
Ah, nothing… really. Hey, um…
What… what was it like living in
New York?
RYAN
Oh, thinking about moving there, huh?
JIM
Uh… no…
RYAN
Yeah.
JIM
Nah…
RYAN
Uh huh…
JIM
Um. Ok, maybe.
RYAN
(shaking head)
No.
JIM
What?
RYAN
Jim, the NYC is no place for you.
You’re too much of a choirboy.
JIM
Choirboy.
RYAN
Jim… have you ever seen an exotic
dancer snort cocaine off the ass of
another exotic dancer while spanking
a third one that’s giving you a lap
dance?
JIM
Um… no. Never seen that.
RYAN
Me neither. That was on my list of
things to see before I left New York.
Damn. But I HAVE seen things there,
Jim. Crazy things. Things a Scranton
boy has never witnessed. Two midget
prostitutes knife-fighting in a subway
car. A drug and booze fueled orgy in the
middle of Lexington Avenue. Um… attack
ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion.
JIM
That… was from “Bladerunner”.
RYAN
I know… I’ve always wanted to say that
line, though. How cool was Rutger Hauer
in that?
JIM
Getting a little off track here.
RYAN
Jim… I know this has to do with Pam.
But are you thinking about Pam? Or
yourself?
JIM
What… does that even mean?
RYAN
She’s a pretty girl, Jim.
(thinks a second)
Kinda a dime a dozen in New
York…
Jim gives a Jim-Face to the camera.
RYAN(continued)
…but when you get to New York and see
all it has to offer, you’ll forget
Pam. You’ll see women like you’ve
never dreamt of. And you and Pam
will be through.
JIM
Doubt that.
RYAN
It’ll happen. And then New York will
work on you, Jim. Chew you up and spit
you out. Laugh at you. Knock you to your
knees and kick you in the face.
JIM
Is that… before I got chewed up
and spat out or…?
RYAN
Don’t try the ironic routine on the
Apple, man. She sees right through that.
And she’ll destroy you, Jim. Strip you
of everything like you were… you were…
JIM
Ryan Howard?
RYAN
Fair enough. But that Ryan Howard
is gone. Replaced by a wiser, tougher,
smarter Ryan Howard. One who played the
game…
(pounds himself twice lightly on the chest)
…and survived.
JIM
(straightening up)
O… k. You’ve been a great help.
RYAN
No problem, man. Always got to
look out for my P.A. peeps. Oh, and Jim?
Remind me to tell you about that orgy.
WILD, man.
JIM
(peeking at camera)
Will do.
Jim walks back to his desk and looks at Ryan who nods wisely and smiles.
RYAN TALKING HEAD
RYAN
Um… didn’t actually… see an orgy on
Lexington Avenue. That was… on my list
too.(beat) But the knife-fighting midget
prostitutes was hilarious.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I picture this happening very soon after the end of "Customer Survey"... so spoilers for that, I guess. Hope you like!
Chapter End Notes:
Jim obviously has committed a lot to the buying of his parents house but I thought he may give thought to the notion of moving to New York. He'd do anything for Pam.
