INT. BREAKROOM

Jim and Pam are seated at a table near the door. Both have their heads down and both are smiling slyly, almost laughing. Pam is facing the door and is peeking at it.

PAM
(low)
Here he comes.

Jim smiles even more.

PAM
(still low)
Ok… aaaaand…

Just then Dwight enters the breakroom.

PAM
(louder)
I’m telling you, it can be done, Jim!

JIM
Nope. Not possible.

Dwight heads over to the vending machine but is clearly interested in Jim and Pam’s disagreement.

PAM
I think it is. I know it is.

JIM
No way, Pam! It cannot be physically done!

DWIGHT
Whoa, what stupid thing are you two
arguing about? Um… Oh!
(speaks in whiny, nerdy voice)
Can Wonder Woman beat up Superman?
Yes she can, Jim! No, she can’t, Pam!
(shakes head)
No, she can’t. He’s an alien. And she’s a woman.

JIM
Not… what we we’re talking about.

PAM
Hey, let’s ask Dwight.

JIM
What? How would he know?

DWIGHT
Because I know way more than you, Jim.
I’ve forgotten things that you will never
be aware of.

JIM
Then… we both still don’t know it.

DWIGHT
No, I know it… I just forgot it.

JIM
And… that’s good how?

PAM
(giving Jim a warning look)
Getting sidetracked.
(gets in front of Dwight and gets his attention)
Dwight. I say that a man can punch himself out.
And Jim says it’s not possible.

JIM
Maybe the Rock… or Stallone can do it.
But a normal guy? Knock himself out?
No.

DWIGHT
Well, of course you would say no, Jim.
You couldn’t hope to knock yourself out.
You have the strength of a little girl.

JIM
Then… I shouldn’t be able to take a punch.

DWIGHT
True. But this is a man’s test. I think I might be
able to settle this one.

JIM
Really. How?

DWIGHT
(annoyed)
By punching myself out, stupid.
(to Pam)
How do you tolerate his idiocy?

PAM
I manage. Um… are you sure you
wanna…

JIM
(eyes wide)
Pam.

DWIGHT
I’m not afraid, Pam.
(Dwight removes his jacket and hands it to her)
But if I do succeed... can you drag me back to my
desk? I don’t want to go over break time.

Jim gives a classic Jim–face to the camera as Pam looks more worried.

PAM
Um… you don’t have to do this..

JIM
(motioning for Pam to stop)
Pam.

DWIGHT
It’s alright, Pam. I’m actually pretty curious myself.
(removes his glasses, hands them to Jim, who is closer)
Hold these. And don’t smear mayonnaise on them this time!

JIM
(smiling to camera)
I thought it was glass cleaner.

DWIGHT
(rolling up sleeves)
Ok… stand back.
(starts to move his right arm up and down, like he’s doing curls)
Have to make a nice, clean arc to the jaw.

Pam and Jim huddle together off to the side. Pam has her hands over her mouth and Jim has a look of absolute giddiness on his face. Dwight starts taking deep breaths.

PAM
(low)
I… I can’t believe I agreed to this.

JIM
(low as well, but really excited)
Don’t back out on me now, baby!
(to camera)
PLEASE make sure you get this!

Jim and Pam are leaning towards Dwight in anticipation. Jim looks as though he may burst. Dwight is in a crouching stance, still taking practice swings. Then he stops, swivels his head a few times and braces.

DWIGHT
Alright, here we go. One... two...

Just then Michael enters the breakroom. Jim and Pam almost fall over.

MICHAEL
(to Dwight)
There you are! I need you to make a Frosty run, Dwight.
(to camera)
Got myselfs a hankering.
(beat, then to the three)
What are you doing?

JIM
(beyond annoyed)
Get out of here!

MICHAEL
What?

PAM
(pushing Jim back)
AH... um.. get out of here! You want a Frosty at
10:30 in the morning? Get out! That's... crazy!

MICHAEL
10:30? That's nothing. Last week I wanted one at
6:30... but they wouldn't sell it to me.
(to Dwight)
Why are your glasses off?

JIM
UM...

DWIGHT
Jim and Pam had a question as to whether a man
could knock himself out. I was going to see.

MICHAEL
What?
(glares at Jim and Pam)
I don't believe you two!
(snatches glasses from Jim, hands them to Dwight)
Go on, Dwight. Get out of here!

Dwight rolls down his sleeves and puts his jacket back on.

DWIGHT
Chocolate, right?

MICHAEL
Yeah. And make it a double.

DWIGHT
On it.
(leaves)

MICHAEL
(shouting towards the door)
And bring back whatever toy they have!

Michael stares at Pam, who looks guilty and Jim, who looks robbed.

MICHAEL
You two... Dwight could've ended up with a... a...
a broken face. And what would happen then? Huh?
Dwight can't get my Frostys if he has a broken face!

Michael shakes his head and leaves. Jim collapses into a chair, despondent. Pam looks at the camera sadly.

PAM TALKING HEAD

PAM
This is probably... (beat) well.. besides a...
personal moment from a few years back..
this is probably the most disappointed I've
ever seen Jim.

INT. BREAKROOM

We see Jim still seated with his head in his hands and Pam standing above him. She rubs his head and kisses the the top of it.

PAM
(consoling)
It's... it's alright, Jim. I'm sure... I'm sure
we'll get another chance at it.

JIM
(through hands, voice muffled and sad)
No, we won't. It's over.

Pam looks at the camera glumly.

END 

But wait, there's more!!! Yep, I actually was struck with the idea  of doing a closing scene for this C/O, like the short ones at the end of the show. Hope you like! And Happy New Year to everyone, I thoroughly enjoyed writing C/O's this year and I hope to have you kind people back reading more next year. Thanks so much for all the great words. Take care!!

EPILOGUE

JIM TALKING HEAD

JIM
The punch? The Almost Punch?
(laughs)
Yeah, I was... I was pretty down about that.
But I'm ok now. You can't get everything in life,
you know? Maybe we'll try again a few weeks
from now... let the dust settle first...

There is a loud "OH!" and gasp from outside the conference room. Jim looks at the camera puzzled and the gets up. He opens the door and exits as the camera follows. We see Dwight slumped in his chair with his glasses on the desk next to him. Phyllis, Andy and Stanley are all staring at him. The camera pans to Pam, who is standing at reception with both hands over her mouth and a shocked look on her face. The camera swings back to Jim.

JIM
What...

PAM
He did it. I don't believe it.

JIM
(shaking head)
No, no, no...

PHYLLIS
He just... took his glasses off... and punched himself
in the face. Why would he do that?

JIM
But I didn't...
(turns to camera)
...and you didn't get...

Jim slumps and throws his hand over his face.

JIM
(upset)
Aw, come ON!

Jim stalks off as Pam checks on an unconscious Dwight.