INT. JIM, DWIGHT AND PAM'S AREA
We see Jim seated at his desk and Pam at her new station next to him. Pam is seated with her hands clasped, smiling widely.
JIM
Excited?
PAM
I am, actually. It's like a whole new life.
I'm... a bit nervous.
JIM
Don't worry, I'm gonna gently guide
you through all the ins and outs.
PAM
That's what she said.
(smiles to camera)
JIM
(shaking head to camera)
Michael Scott disease. And it's in the
advanced stages.
Pam laughs.
JIM
Prolonged exposure. But If that's the
worse you got you'll be fine. However
I must tell you the same thing a lovely
young woman told me on my first day.
PAM
(smiling)
Lovely young woman?
JIM
Beautiful, really. Stunning.
PAM
So what happened to this gem?
JIM(solemnly)`
I allowed her to fall in love with me...
and eventually let her share my bed.
PAM
(pointing towards the annex)
Oh, you mean Kelly.
JIM
(patting Pam's hand)
And I deserved that. But, seriously, you
should heed your own words. "Enjoy
this moment, because you're never
going to go back to this time before
you met your desk mate Dwight".
(points at Dwight's unoccupied desk)
Well... have the same job as Dwight. It's
kinda the same.
PAM
Jim. Sweetheart. I have been here for...
(thinks)
for...
(face falls)
Oh my God.
JIM
Best not to think about it.
PAM
I...have been here for... FAR too long.
But I think I have a pretty good handle
on Dwight by now.
JIM
Different experience.
PAM(cocky)
Jim.(beat) I got this.
JIM
O...... k.
Just then Dwight enters the office and strolls over to his desk. He stares straight at Pam.
DWIGHT
So, Pam. Your first official day. I still think you are
woefully inexperienced and bound to lose the
company an incredible amount of money through
your incompetence but... welcome!
JIM
Inspiring.
PAM
Uh.. thank you... Dwight.
DWIGHT
Would you like some advice?
PAM
Well....
DWIGHT
Yes, you would. Number 1. Do not follow
the lead of Jim Halpert.
PAM(thinking)
Jim Halpert, Jim Halpert.... oh, you
mean him?
(pointing at Jim)
DWIGHT
Yes, that one. He is a slacker. He does
not work hard. He does not follow through.
Anything he tells you will lead you astray
and will send you to your complete and
utter ruin.
PAM
So.. marrying him. Probably not a good
idea.
DWIGHT
You're just now figuring that out?
(laughs)
Poor, naive... stupid Pam.
(shakes head as Pam looks at the camera))
Alright, number two. Follow my lead if
you really want to be the best.
PAM
I should probably....
(reaches for pen)
... write this down...
(begins to scribble on pad)
DWIGHT
Do as I say, do as I do, do as I...
(stops and frowns)
JIM
I think that's it.
DWIGHT
(threateningly)
But do not follow me too closely, Pam.
I can sense when a rival is too close.
I'll pull a Crazy Ivan on you. Torpedo
you to the bottom. Laugh all the way back
to port.
PAM
(confused)
Crazy Ivan... is that a wrestler?
DWIGHT
And number three.
(leans toward Pam, makes voice low)
Don't ever try to compete with me. You're
a newbie. A nimrod. A lamb in a jungle of
lions.
JIM
(nodding)
The elusive jungle lamb. Legendary.
DWIGHT
(low and intense)
I'll crush you in a straight sales competition.
You wouldn't stand a chance. None.
And, Pamela? If you step near my accounts
again I'll destroy you. I'll hang you out to dry.
Little Jimmy or Michael won't be able to save
you. I'll snap you back so hard you'll think a
Panzer hit you.
JIM
Dwight.
DWIGHT(continued)
I'll be watching you, little miss. And I'll jump
on your first mistake with both feet. And your
second. And your third. Until you're crying and
sobbing and wishing you were back on the
phones saying...
(whiny voice)
"Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam."
JIM
That... was a bit harsh.
Dwight walks towards the back, giving Pam a hard stare the whole time. Pam looks at the camera, actually shaken by Dwight's venom. Dwight enters the kitchen and points at Pam as he goes in. Just then the main phone rings and Kelly, the new receptionist, answers.
KELLY
Dunder-Mifflin, this is Kelly.
Pam looks wistfully at her and then back to Jim.
PAM
Listen to her. She sounds so.... content.
JIM
Um... maybe... we should make some calls.
PAM
(rising and facing Kelly)
Is it break time yet? I can fill in if you need
to go. Take an early lunch....
JIM
(gently steering Pam back to her desk)
OK, let's try to drag this new career
out to at least lunch, shall we?
Author's Chapter Notes:
Whew... Been a long time. But life stress ( and a serious case of writers block) put me on the shelf. But I finally have this new one and some ideas for more. I've been away for too long and I hope to be a regular again (reader and writer). Hope you like!
