INT. THE OFFICE-CONFERENCE ROOM
The last of the office folk are getting seated as Michael stands near the board, which has a black sheet draped over it.
MICHAEL
Ok... corporate is having a little thing for
the North-East branches... a little phone
conference. Only the salespeople and
myself. The important folks.
(smiles to camera)
Meredith, Creed, Angela, Oscar, Kevin, Kelly, Toby, Ryan and Erin all rise to leave.
MICHAEL
BUT, but, but... I'd still like input and
feedback from you people.
ANGELA
(sarcastically)
The unimportant folks?
MICHAEL
Um..(beat) yes.
Grudgingly, everyone sits back down.
MICHAEL
Now... the thing we're conferencing about
is called the North-East Dunder-Mifflin
Syn-er-gy
(stretches out the pronounciation)
summit. And it's... um... today at 2.
PAM
What?
MICHAEL
Synergy, Pam. It's a combination of...
energy. and. um...
JIM
Sin?
MICHAEL
No, Jim. Not sin.
(frowns)
Um... no, right?
(looks at Dwight, confused)
Is that right?
PAM
No.. I meant...
DWIGHT
(sighing)
Synergy refers to the interaction between two
or more agents or organizations to produce
something that would be greater than if done
individually. It is also a trite and overused term
that has become nothing more than a way to
destroy individuality and competition through
use of a corporate tool.
MICHAEL
You're the corporate tool, Dwight.
(laughs to camera)
Keep your... fascist, pinko.. right wing
ideas to yourself.
Michael laughs again as Dwight shakes his head to the camera.
PAM
No, Michael... I know what synergy means.
I said "What?" because I can't believe you're
just telling us this now.
MICHAEL
Aw, come on, Pam. I think better when my
back is against the wall. You need to exercise
those muscles.
JIM
(faux confused)
The... back muscles?
MICHAEL
No, not... real muscles. Creative... mind
muscles. Don't be afraid, Pam. And,,,
(leans closer and speaks lower)
It's ok that you didn't know what synergy meant.
I was a little fuzzy too.
Pam looks at the camera as Michael pats her on the shoulder.
JIM
(motioning towards board)
So... this is... ?
MICHAEL
Oh, right! This is a little something I dreamt up.
Something the North-East branches can all adopt.
Michael pulls away the sheet to reveal three black t-shirts taped to the board.
All three have white lettering. The first shirt says "Dun-Miff", the second says "D-Miff" and the last says "D-Miffy", all in progressing degrees of sloppiness. The last one has a fair amount of white paint splattered on the bottom.
JIM
Quality printing.
MICHAEL
Was working on them last night. I, uh... got
sleepy midway through the first one.
PAM
Michael, what... exactly are these for?
MICHAEL
I thought it would be cool if we had a nickname
for Dunder-Mifflin.
(speaks robotically)
Dunder-Miflin.
(back to normal)
See? That's so... 1950's. Everything today has a
cool nickname. KFC. Mickey Dees. Uh.. K-Mart.
JIM
Um... that's... actually the name of...
MICHAEL
(excited)
Right! So I thought I thought we should
make our own corporate nick-name.
Reel in the younger buyers. So I made up
three examples for us to pick from. And then
we'll present it in the Synergy meeting.
PAM
Michael.. didn't you say this was a... PHONE
conference?
MICHAEL
Um....(beat) dammit.
Stanley laughs.
MICHAEL
(embarrassed)
Ok, ok! I'll just... send them some pics.
(shakes head)
Anyway, I have my favorite to show...
(leans towards the D-Miffy shirt)
But... we'll pretend this is a democracy and
take a vote. Ok, Jim. Which one do you like
best?
Michael stands next to the D-Miffy one and cants his head towards it. Jim scrunches his face up and puts his hand on his chin in mock concentration.
JIM
Hm. Well... I actually prefer.... DunnyMiff.
MICHAEL
What?
PAM
Hey, I like that! Gets my vote.
You're a genius, JHalp.
JIM
Thank you, PBees.
MICHAEL
Uh...
(laughs)
lets just keep it to the three shown...
ANDY
(raising hand)
Um.... ABern votes for DunnyMiff.
Sounds vaguely... mafioso.
(laughs)
KEVIN
(raising hand)
O-Mart,and K-Mal vote for DunnyMiff.
A smiling Oscar and Kevin fist bump while Angela shyly raises her hand.
ANGELA
Um... A-Mart,too.
A stunned Oscar and Kevin stare gape-mouthed at Angela who rolls her eyes, looks away and smiles slightly.
MICHAEL
(annoyed)
There is no DunnyMiff shirt! We want the D-Miffy one!
MEREDITH
But we don't like that one.
STANLEY
At all.
PHYLLIS
PhillyVan want DunnyMiff.
MICHAEL
Ryan! Ryan... you're young and hip!
Kelly snorts, causing everyone to turn around.
MICHAEL
Um... what name would you like to call this
company?
RYAN
(smiling)
Nothing that should be on a t-shirt.
That gets a few laughs.
MICHAEL
No! Not funny! Come on! Dwight!
(points at Dwight)
I can count on you. Which one is the best?
DWIGHT
I think all of them are silly and sophomoric.
And I think it's a stupid trend that we should not
make ourselves a part of.
Everyone groans and stares at Dwight.
DWIGHT
(rolling eyes)
Fine. DunnyMiff, then. D-Miffy is girly.
Everyone cheers as Michael slumps, defeated.
JIM TALKING HEAD
JIM
So, even though Michael begged and pleaded
and... I'm pretty sure... cried, DunnyMIff won out.
And later, when I googled the word "Dunny" for kicks
and found out it was Australian slang for toilet...
(makes Jim-face and nods towards camera)
... I knew I had chosen well.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Been busy this summer. But I have this one and another one I am almost done with. Maybe I can squeeze in another before the season premiere.... though I wouldn't bank on it, they way I've been going. Hope you like!
