INT. THE OFFICE - BREAK ROOM
Jim and Pam are sitting at a table looking through a magazine.
PAM
So... HOW many kids are actually Angelina's?
JIM
I don't even know anymore.
Both laugh as Andy walks into the break room.
ANDY
Ah!
(starts to sing)
Here is the bride! And…
(beat) … the groom.. too.
PAM
Hey.
ANDY
So, um… did you guys think about it?
Jim looks at Pam, who is as confused as he is.
JIM
Uh… think about what?
ANDY
You know.
(singing)
All dressed in white…
(looks back and forth at Jim and Pam, then laughs)
You too. The wedding!!
Andy pantomimes holding a microphone and singing. Jim and Pam’s faces fall, Pam’s much more than Jim’s.
JIM
Uhhhhhhhhhh…
JIM AND PAM TALKING HEAD
PAM
On Friday, Andy asked us if he could….
(sighs, the stares at the camera)
sing at our wedding.
JIM
Yeah, um… Pam had an... interesting
reaction to that.
PAM
(still staring, very annoyed)
Andy. Singing. OUR WEDDING.
JIM
(pointing at Pam)
Pretty… much like that.
INT. BREAK ROOM
Everyone is as they were before.
PAM
Andy, we don't... um....
ANDY
It's ok, I understand, Tuna to be. You're
concerned about having the whole Here
Comes Treble group singing and taking
away from your big moment.
PAM
Um... that wasn't...
ANDY
Well, don't worry your pretty veiled head about
that. I am.... no longer affiliated with that group.
PAM
Oh.
ANDY
We wanted to go in two different directions.
I wanted to get together and sing more and they...
wanted to do that also... without me.
JIM
Wow. Sorry.
ANDY
That's ok, I've been doing all of the heavy lifting
there anyway. I was like... Lionel Ritchie and they
were the Commodores. He didn't need those guys.
He made the big bucks and left those no names
behind. Go on, name another Commodore.
JIM
Commodore Oliver Perry. Beat back the British in the
Battle of Lake Erie.
ANDY
(confused)
One of the Commodores,,, fought the British?
PAM
(putting hand on Jim's arm)
Ok. Andy... Jim and I aren't...
ANDY
Sure of what I will sing, Well... I have some
ideas that I'd like to share.
Pam sighs and slumps in her seat. Jim puts his hand over hers.
ANDY
I was thinking of doing some classic Sinatra.
Perfect for a wedding. Ol' Blue Eyes done
Bernard style. First...
(singing)
Lovely. Don't you ever change. Keep that
breathless charm...
JIM
Very nice.
He smiles at Pam who is giving him a less than pleased look and then peeks at the camera.
ANDY
(excited)
Excellent! And then... um... maybe a little...
(singing)
They call you Lady Luck...
JIM
Um... that's about gambling.
ANDY
Oh.... um... ok. How about...
(singing)
The summer wind came blowing in
Across the sea,,,
JIM
Failed relationship.
ANDY
(worried)
Oh.... Ok, um... wow. Um... how about...
(singing tentatively)
I want to.... be a part... of it?
JIM
New York City.
ANDY
I obviously..
(laughs nervously)
... need to brush up on my Sinatra...
PAM
(decisively)
Alright. Andy. Jim and I do not want a singer
for our wedding. Nothing personal and we
really appreciate you wanting to do it. Very sweet.
But... that's not what we had in mind.
Andy is quiet as Pam looks from him to Jim to the camera and back to Andy.
PAM
I'm sorry.
ANDY
Pamela... I know this may be different than what you
thought of. But I really want to do this. And I brought
my secret weapon to convince you.
Andy holds up his hand and runs out of the break room, Jim and Pam look at each other.
PAM
Secret..... weapon.
JIM
(nodding)
I'm scared, too.
Andy rushes back in holding a banjo. He pulls a chair close to Pam and sits, banjo at the ready. Pam is stunned.
ANDY
I didn't forget what Tuna told me. That you are a
sucker for banjo tunes. What better way to celebrate
your wonderful day... than with this.
(starts playing and singing in high-pitched voice)
Lovely... don't you ever change!
(regular voice)
C'mon, Pam! I know you love this!
(singing again)
Keep that breathless charm! Pig Latin!
Ontway ouyay eesplay a-ay angeray itay!
(regular voice)
Breaking her down, Tuna!
Andy keep playing and singing as Pam gives Jim an absolute death look. Jim looks wide-eyed at the camera, shaking his head ever slightly.
JIM AND PAM TALKING HEAD
Pam is still staring at Jim as he looks at the camera, desperately trying not to meet her gaze.
JIM
Wow... that... (beat) that's gotta be the longest
it's ever taken a prank...
(nods slowly)
to come around... and bite me in the ass.
Jim laughs nervously and sneaks a peek at Pam, who is still staring at him. Jim looks wide-eyed at the camera.
JIM
(quietly)
Help.
Author's Chapter Notes:
First off, let me just say that I am not too enamored with this title but... there ya go. So, here's my last C/O before the premiere. Glad I got to get this one in before the big day. Hope you like!
Oh, I will be doing episode recaps on the Life in the Office site, along with Donna, Bob and Hot Dog Fingers. Oughtta be fun! By way of introduction, I wrote a little something about JAM and my feelings on the show. If you have a chance, please give it a read and tell me what you think. I hope you like! Here's the link:
http://www.lifeintheoffice.com/2009/09/02/1246-days-of-jam/
And please read Bob's introduction and his thoughts on being an actual Scrantonian. It's really good!:
http://www.lifeintheoffice.com/2009/08/19/notes-from-a-native-scrantonian/
And get ready for Thursday!
