INT. THE OFFICE-PAMS AND DWIGHT'S AREA
We see Jim standing next to a seated Pam at her desk. They are watching Dwight, who is holding a sheet of paper, and Michael hug in front of his office. Michael breaks off the hug quickly.
DWIGHT
(disappointed)
That was too short.
MICHAEL
Well, no one guaranteed how long it
would be. That's what she said.
(laughs to camera as Dwight walks away and Erin walks up, holding a sheet of paper as well)
MICHAEL
Ready, Erin?
ERIN
Yes!
The two hug and Michael beams to the camera. They part.
MICHAEL
Thank you, Erin!
ERIN
Thank you!
Erin heads back to reception. Michael leans closer to Jim and Pam.
MICHAEL
(low)
Wow. Chestier than I thought.
(sees Pam's disapproving look)
Don't worry, Pam, she can't hang with you.
(laughs to camera)
Boob humor.
Come on, who's next for a hug?
PAM
Why are you doing this again?
MICHAEL
Because, Pam, I love my co-workers and
I want them all to know it.
Michael nods to the camera and then sees Toby tentatively walking towards him. Michael instantly gets annoyed.
TOBY
Hey, Michael. Um... Do I... get...?
MICHAEL
Did you get an email?
TOBY
Um.. no.
MICHAEL
Then no hug, Toby. Not from me anyway.
Go hug an electric fence.
Toby walks away dejectedly while Michael laughs. Jim shakes his head to the camera.
JIM TALKING HEAD
JIM
Apparently, unbeknownst to me, it is Hug A
Co-Manager Of The Office Day, as instituted
by Michael. Now... I wonder. Which Co-Manager
is supposed to get hugs today?
(puts hand on chin and looks thoughtful)
Hmmmmm....
INT. THE OFFICE-PAM AND DWIGHT'S AREA
Michael, Jim and Pam are still where they were previously. We see Stanley walk up to Jim, holding a printout of the email.
STANLEY
I assume this is not you.
JIM
Correct.
MICHAEL
(arms spread)
Come here, big fella. Lets hug
away racism.
STANLEY
I am not hugging you, Michael.
MICHAEL
Aw, come on, Stanley! Ebony
and Ivory!
STANLEY
No.
MICHAEL
(low)
I'll let you leave at four today.
Stanley looks at the camera and then reluctantly hugs Michael, who gets way too into it. Stanley grimaces and then pushes Michael away.
MICHAEL
See? Where does it say that you can't
hug a white man?
Stanley walks away shaking his head.
MICHAEL
(to camera)
Feels so good to connect with your
employees like this.
JIM
Feels even better when you coerce
them into it.
MICHAEL
(surprised)
You know... it actually does!
(laughs)
Jim and Pam look at each other. Just then a smiling Kelly and Meredith walk up to Jim.
KELLY
We're here for our hugs.
MEREDITH
Gimme.
JIM
Um..
MICHAEL
No, that's me. The hugs are for me.
Me only.
KELLY
(looking at sheet)
Doesn't say that here.
MEREDITH
Yeah, it doesn't specify which co-manager
gets the hug. And mine says it comes with
an ass grab. Mutual, if possible.
Jim looks in horror at the camera while Michael looks at Meredith's sheet.
MICHAEL
You wrote that in.
MEREDITH
(smiling)
Yeah. C'mere, Jim. Sorry, Pam.
PAM
(mischievously)
No, by all means.
JIM
(backing away)
Wow. Um....
Jim shoots a dirty look at Pam who tries not to laugh.
MICHAEL
No, Meredith! That's my ass you're supposed
to be grabbing, not Jim!
KELLY
Aw, that's not fair!
JIM
Sorry, ladies but, uh.. them's...
the rules.
MEREDITH
Too bad. Your loss, slim. Alright,
Michael, let's get this over with.
Now.. you wanna hug me regular..
or from behind?
Michael looks at the camera fearfully and then at Jim, who gives a Jim-Face to the camera and then walks away.
JIM TALKING HEAD
JIM
Now... I wonder. Which Co-Manager will wake
up drenched in sweat and screaming in the middle
of the night?
(puts hand on chin and looks thoughtful)
Hmmmmm.....
Author's Chapter Notes:
Boy... I just went crazy with this one... lol....
