Lydia Mills closed her eyes so she wouldn't be tempted to hurl her coffee mug at her boss's head. She'd been the assistant to the station director at KNPR for not quite a year yet, but certainly long enough to know how scatterbrained he could be.

"Lyd," he complained, using a derivative of her name she'd asked him time and time again to please not use, "I need that report today."

"I put it on your desk yesterday," she replied much more calmly than she felt. "But I'll print it out for you again right now."

As her boss Craig nodded and walked back into his office, Lydia pulled up the IRC screen she'd hidden behind a spreadsheet.

Leikha> Still there?

MairzyDoats> Yep. What did he want this time?

Leikha> The usual. He lost the report I put on his desk yesterday.

MairzyDoats> You staple this one to his shirt. :-)

Leikha> Don't tempt me.

Working in an office setting was definitely not Lydia's dream job - even if it was at a radio station. Maybe that's one of the reasons she'd connected so immediately with WalkingDisaster in chat; both of them were artsy people trapped in the dull world of business. The big difference, WalkingDisaster often reminded her, was that Lydia was years younger and therefore could get out before it pulled her under forever.

She was joking, of course, but Lydia saw the truth behind the jest. Music had always played an important part in Lydia's life. She started playing piano at the age of four and never looked back. When other kids were outside playing on warm spring days, Lydia was inside practicing Beethoven's Piano Sonata No. 14 over and over again. Summer time didn't mean hours splashing at the swimming pool; it meant hours in air conditioned rooms at music camp. When she graduated high school there was only one thing Lydia wanted to do: play piano professionally with an internationally recognized symphony orchestra.

Despite being on the other side if the country, she applied to her dream school: the New England Conservatory of Music. After months of waiting she was delighted to find she'd been accepted. She walked around in a dreamlike state for days over the news, until harsh reality stepped in: she found out she could not afford to attend.

Well, afford really wasn't the correct term; it was more that her parents decided that it was not a realistic career for her to follow. They also had issues with her moving so far away, and their fear translated into their need to control her. They said they would be happy to pay for her to attend the local university if she wanted to study to become a music teacher instead of a performer. That was a sensible career that still let her do what she loved, they argued. She couldn't believe they knew her so little as to think teaching music would ever be enough to make her happy. Even her boyfriend Derek didn't see what the fuss was about.

But with few options and only a partial scholarship, she turned down the spot at NECM with a heavy heart, and registered for full-time studies at Northern Arizona University in music education, hoping that something would happen to make her dreams still come true. After a semester of still living at home, having her mother remind her at every turn how right Lydia was to follow her advice, she shifted down to part-time studies, found her current job at the radio station, and moved out. It wasn't her ideal life by any means, she knew. But whose was? As time went by, it became comfortable. And safe. And she stopped questioning her decisions until she found herself in the #Love_Stinks chat room.

Lydia discovered the chat room one night after fighting with her boyfriend Derek. She'd been a regular IRC'er for a while; a few friends from high school had moved out of town for college and it was the easiest way to stay in touch. But that night she was scrolling through the lists of open chat rooms and was taken by the room's name. Love certainly was stinking for her lately, so she joined. In retrospect that night was the start of a lot of good things for Lydia Mills.

====

Jim groaned slightly as he splashed more cool water on his face. The fact that he could have mistaken Michael's offer to go to the New York launch party as an actual invitation for him and Pam to get away just proved how off his game he was these days. Happiness was starting to make him soft, he thought to himself. But he couldn't find it in him to care.

He was surprised by his interest in taking Pam to New York when the offer first appeared. He never expected he'd want to visit that city again any time soon, but the thought of seeing it with her, through her eyes, made such a trip full of possibilities. Since tonight wasn't going to work out, maybe he'd take her some weekend soon. He remembered the task Leikha had given him, and thought maybe going to New York could be the 'scene of regret' she'd talked about. But for now he was leaving for the city on the arm of Michael, not Pam. The fun would have to wait.

====

Lydia couldn't get home from work soon enough. She had a music theory class she knew she should attend, but the bombshell that went off during last night's chat was sure to still be the focus of discussion, and all Lydia wanted to do was get on line and see what everyone else had made of Squirrel McPants' confession.

TooMuchTrouble> and then he said he's pay me back at the end of the week.

Vexin> and did he?

TooMuchTrouble> *raises eyebrows* need I really reply to that?

MairzyDoats> Hey Leikha!!

Vexin> Ouch. Sorry about that, TMT.

Leikha> Hey guys! :-)

TooMuchTrouble> Hello Leiks - what's up?

Vexin> Hi Leikha :-D

TooMuchTrouble> Eh, brothers. What can you do?

Vexin> Still - well, just remember karma.

Leikha> So what are you guys talking about?

TooMuchTrouble> Why it's not good to be related to anybody ;-)

MairzyDoats> Not much, Leikha. What's new with you?

Leikha> Not much?? I can't believe you guys aren't talking about Squirrel and WD!?!

Vexin> LOL - oh, we have been. Just not right this moment.

MairzyDoats> Trust me, I've already had a conversation about that with Loki and SaintSimon earlier today.

TooMuchTrouble> What's there to say about it really?

Leikha> Aww, I knew I'd miss something not logging in from work. But we had some big NPR guys in today. :(

Leikha> What is there to say about it? EVERYTHING! I mean - wow!

Vexin> Well, feel free to re-start the conversation, Leikha. :)

TooMuchTrouble> What did you want to say about it?

Leikha> What do you think of what he did? I mean really?

Vexin> Are you suggesting we didn't tell him the truth last night? ;-)

Leikha> No, I guess I just thought that thinking about it overnight might have changed your opinion.

TooMuchTrouble> I maintain there are two schools of thought on this.

MairzyDoats> I still think I'd be freaked out if I was WalkingDisaster.

Vexin> What two schools, TMT?

TooMuchTrouble> One - he's got balls of titanium.

Vexin> LOL - and number 2?

TooMuchTrouble> Two - he's totally insane.

Leikha> haha! Or both!

TooMuchTrouble> True. Or both. :-)

Vexin> You forgot the third school of thought.

TooMuchTrouble> Oh?

Vexin> He's in love. :-)

MairzyDoats> *rolls eyes* Please.

Vexin> Why are you so cynical, Mairzy?

MairzyDoats> The claim of "being in love" does not excuse everything.

Vexin> No, it doesn't. But it worked out for them.

MairzyDoats> Luck.

TooMuchTrouble> Or - he knew her well enough that it was a risk worth taking.

Leikha> Have you guys given any thought to the penance tasks we get to assign him?

Vexin> I've got a few ideas, but nothing definite yet. What about you?

Leikha> I'm not sure.

MairzyDoats> Hey, no fair - Vex! Spill your ideas!

Vexin> I will, in time. I'm afraid to hear what you're going to come up with, Mairzy.

MairzyDoats> There shouldn't be any permanent scarring.

Leikha> Good to hear!

MairzyDoats> Hopefully, anyway. ;-)

Leikha> I don't think anything I come up with will be bad.

MairzyDoats> Sissy. :-P

TooMuchTrouble> I haven't the foggiest idea what to tell him to do.

Leikha> Well, I'm kind of impressed by what he did, tbh - he had to really want to be with her to do that. I mean how many people take chances like that?

Vexin> True, Leikha. So very true.

====

Pam expression was one of calm disinterest as she put her coins into the soda machine. "So, did you enjoy your New York party?" She asked Jim, who was putting his coins into the vending machine.

He didn't even look over at her. "Immensely. You should have come. It was awesome."

"It must have been," she replied, retrieving her Coke. "I thought you'd never get home." When she straightened up, Jim was standing in front of her, blocking her exit. "I hope those are Sun Chips," she said, glancing down at the bag in his hand.

"What else?" He grinned, popping the bag open. He tilted the now open bag towards her, and instead of reaching for a chip she took the entire bag out of his hand and headed out of the break room. "Hey!" He said, his surprise evident.

"Thanks," she called back to him.

He shook his head as he watched her walk back to her desk, and fished into his pocket for more change. He'd get her back later for her theft, he smirked. Or not. In the scope of things, a few stolen snacks was a fair price to pay for what he got in return. He had no regrets on that front at all.

As he walked back to his desk with his second bag of chips, he remembered that with them both staying in Scranton tonight, he had the perfect idea on how to complete the task Leikha had given him after all. He just needed to make a plan.

====

It was several days later when Lydia finally came up with a task to give Squirrel. Each night she talked with the other chatters about how amazing what he did was, and each night it became apparent that she was becoming his chief supporter. These conversations were mostly held when neither Squirrel nor WalkingDisaster were around, so as not to embarrass them. But as surprised no one, those two's visits were few and far between that week. At least one of them would pop in each night, but only for a short while. Marathon chatting sessions seemed to be a thing of the past for them, and while Leikha could totally appreciate why that would be, she did miss them.

But being aware of their absence had benefits for her. She started to reflect on the path her own life was taking, and how happy she would be to continue this way. She had at least another four years of college since she was only attending part-time, and that meant at least another four years at the radio station. After that she'd be teaching music - which, granted would at least make music her number one focus again. And then there was her relationship with Derek: they'd dated since high school, but while she felt she'd changed in that time period, she didn't think the same could be said of him. Where was this all leading?

If she was being honest, Lydia was most impressed by Squirrel McPants' impulsiveness - of not settling for the conventional approach. It was the antithesis to everything she'd done in her life to date. He took a huge gamble that pretending to be someone else wouldn't push him out of WD's life forever. But it worked. That was the fact Lydia kept coming back to, over and over again. What made him want to put so much on the line like that? What tipped the scales away from safe and toward the uncertain? And when did he know he'd do anything - including something this crazy - to be with her?

She sent off an email to Vexin late that night, outlining her thinking about what she'd like Squirrel to do. She decided not to make his task not too hard; she figured he'd get tackled by at least one of the chatters later on. Besides, it was near impossible not to like the guy, and just from that one evening of conversation, it was apparent to her how happy the two of them were, how WalkingDisaster clearly wasn't holding a real grudge over what he'd done, and how much his gamble had really paid off.

==

Jim was standing in the conference room, pretending to listen to the random conversation in front of him while in reality he was focused on following Pam's movement around the room, getting everything ready for the video conference. When he saw her walk over to Michael, he knew his moment to put his plan in action had arrived. He walked up behind her, and when it looked like she was done talking to Michael, he reached out and gently grabbed her wrist, moving them both away from Michael.

"Hey - quick question," he said, wondering why he suddenly felt breathless.

"Yeah?"

"If I take a pizza, do you think you could take some sodas and some napkins up to the roof?"

Her reaction was quick and her tone told him she approved entirely. "I'm all over it," she replied.

Jim nodded. "Oh, good." He turned toward the stack of good pizza that had just arrived from Alfredo's Pizza Cafe. "What do we got here?" He asked no one in particular, though Kevin, Oscar and Creed were standing nearby.

"Good pizza," Kevin enthused, taking another bite of his.

"Yeah?" Jim replied, lifting up the top box. "Cheese? Or we have other flavors, or....?"

"Different stuff," Kevin said helpfully.

Jim pulled the second box from the stack. "Which one's this?" He asked, barely giving the pizza a glance. "Perfect." He turned and headed out of the room before anyone could ask him why he was stealing a whole pizza.

He found Pam waiting at the foot of the roof ladder, her items neatly waiting in a box at her feet. "Good idea," he nodded, picking it up and resting the pizza box at an odd angle inside. "I'll go first then you can hand this to me." When she didn't immediately reply he turned towards her and found her staring at him, a bemused expression on her face.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing," she replied, shaking her head. She looked back up at him and smiled sheepishly. "I'm guessing there won't be fireworks tonight."

Jim smiled broadly. This was the reason he loved her so much. Without a word they always ended up on the same page. He didn't need to remind her that this was the first time they'd been up there since before. That it meant something - it mean a lot of something - to be able to go back up there. His task tonight was about looking back. Looking back but moving forward.

"There might be," he mused, quirking his eyebrow to mockingly leer at her. "Depends if you play your cards right later."

She laughed and smacked his arm. "Get up there. The pizza's getting cold."

Once on the roof, the old chairs were retrieved and set up. The lap blanket Pam had snatched from the closet in the kitchen was wrapped around her legs, and Jim served the pizza and opened the drinks. They sat in silence at first, alternating between picking at their food and sneaking glances at each other, grinning inanely all the while. It was if neither wanted to ruin the moment by talking. It was nice just being them, alone but together.

"Can you believe that pizza kid is still downstairs?" Pam finally said.

"Shhh," Jim interrupted. "We are not allowed to talk about anything that's going on in the building below our feet."

Pam chuckled. "Really?"

"Really," he insisted. He waved his hand in the small space between them. "This is a happy place. I intend to keep it that way."

"Okay," she grinned. "What should we talk about?"

Jim took a sip of his Coke and set the can on the ground. "Well, I guess I could tell you about the task I was given by Leikha."

Pam's eyes grew round with excitement, and she leaned slightly closer to him. "Yes, please do. What's the surprise?"

"Eh," Jim tilted his head, "I wouldn't get too worked up over that part of it. I think she said it was a surprise because she didn't give me exact instructions on what to do."

"Oh?"

"It's a more a mental task than a physical task."

"I see," she mused, taking another bite of pizza. "And what mental task did she want you to accomplish?"

Jim paused for a moment. Even as he'd thought about what he'd say he was still faltering to begin. "I remember the moment I first knew there was something really special about you. The moment I knew I was really going to like you."

"I remember the moment I knew I really liked you too."

"Really?"

Their eyes met. "Really," she said. "I even remember what it was you said that made me think that."

"No you don't," he teased.

"I do!" She insisted. "I remember things like that. Was it something I said that made you know you liked me?"

Jim nodded. "That was part of it."

"Then tell me the moment and I'll tell you what I said."

"There's no way you'll know that."

"Try me."

He took a deep breath and said, "Do you remember what you said to me on my first day of work, just before you walked me over to my desk?"

Pam smiled. "Yeah."

He gave her a challenging look, daring her to prove it.

Pam didn't even hesitate. "Enjoy this moment," she said, "because you're never going to go back to this time before you met your desk mate Dwight."

Jim gave her a nod. "And that's when I knew. You?"

"You came up to my desk and you said 'This might sound weird..."

"mm-huh..." Jim murmured encouragingly.

"...and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat has expired.'"

"THAT was the moment that you knew you liked me?"

"Yep," she grinned, looking down almost bashfully as she picked at her pizza.

"Wow." Jim thought back to that moment. He remembered how he had debated with himself as to whether or not he should say something when he saw the yogurt was out of date, or if pointing that out to her would make him look weird. In the end his concern for her not to get salmonella poisoning overrode his worry that she would think it was a dork. "Can we make it a different moment?"

"Nope."

Jim grinned ruefully. "No...."

Pam laughed softly. "Was that your task?"

"No," Jim replied, "Well, partly." He ran his hand through his hair then turned slightly in his chair to face her. Even in the shadows of the parking lot flood lights she looked beautiful to him. "Leikha wanted me to tell you when I knew that I wouldn't regret doing whatever it took to be with you. I guess she saw the whole Squirrel McPants thing as a the equivalent of jumping out of an airplane without a parachute and she wondered what drove someone to do that."

"Insanity?" Pam offered helpfully, her eyes crinkled and twinkling.

"That too," he nodded. He stared down at his hand resting on his leg, and tried to decide what to say next. It wasn't that talking to Pam was hard, or that they hadn't talked about their relationship before. But he wanted to take the question seriously. He wanted her to understand just how deeply she was loved, and for how long he had loved her like that. He knew that despite everything, she really didn't know.

"So when was it?" she prompted in a near whisper.

"Well, the other part of the request was that I try to recreate that moment when I knew." He reached over and put his hand on top of hers. "And here we are."

She shifted her hand so she could thread her fingers through his and squeezed his hand. "That was a good moment," she agreed.

"It probably wasn't the absolute first time I knew I didn't want to live without you," he continued, "I think I felt that way from the first day we met."

"Liar," she joked.

He squeezed her hand back. "I'm not lying. Meeting you changed everything for me."

"That was nearly six years ago, Jim."

"I know." He smiled tenderly at her. "Trust me, I know."

"Yeah," she replied, unable to meet his gaze. She stared down at their intertwined hands. "I'm so sorry for all that wasted time."

"Hey," he replied quickly, leaning over to touch her face with his free hand. "I'm not telling you this to make you sad."

"I know," she nodded. "But I put you through so much."

"Not intentionally," he added. "Besides, that's kind of the point. Despite everything, I have no regrets whatsoever about what it took to get us here." He cleared his throat and sat back in his chair. "I brought us up here because even though I've always been in love with you, it was here I became convinced we'd be good together. And I realized that I wanted that more than anything."

"Falling in love with you wasn't a choice, Pam," he continued. "But everything that came afterwards was: wanting to be with you, fighting not to tell you how I felt, and then doing so anyway, running away, coming back, realizing that I couldn't stop loving you and that I needed to do something about that - all choices I made."

"And you really don't regret them at all?"

Jim shrugged. "If I could do it all over again, I would have told you sooner and not run away. But the rest I can live with."

====

It was after nine o'clock by the time Jim and Pam made it home from Dunder Mifflin. Jim immediately headed toward his laptop.

"What are you doing?" Pam asked, semi-pouting as she leaned against the wall. Their rooftop dinner had been under observation by the documentary crew, so nothing more demonstrative than hand-holding had occurred. Given the intensity of their conversation at times, Pam had been eager to get home and quit talking.

"I just need to check into chat and tell Leikha I finished the task."

"And you can't do that tomorrow?"

"It will just be a minute, I promise."

Pam sighed and slumped down into the chair across from him where she'd left her laptop. "I might as well log in too and see what they say."

Lokien> I really don't know.

Vexin> Let me know when you do find out okay?

Lokien> Sure.

WalkingDisaster has entered the room.

Squirrel_McPants> Hello

Lokien> Hey squirrel!

Vexin> Hi WD! Hi Squirrel!

WalkingDisaster> Hi everyone!

Squirrel_McPants> What going on?

Lokien> The usual. Nothing. :-)

sholva> Hey.

MairzyDoats> What's up with you guys?

Squirrel_McPants> I just came by to let you know I finished the task Leikha requested.

Leikha> Awesome!

Vexin> So, how did it go?

Squirrel_McPants> Good. :)

Lokien> What was the task?

Vexin> Good? That's all you're going to say?

MairzyDoats> I think we need to know what the task was and what you did, and we'll decide if it was "good" ;-)

Squirrel_McPants> Hmmm. I wasn't expecting to have to give a play-by-play.

Leikha> I asked Squirrel to try and recreate the time and/or place when he knew that he'd do anything to win WD's affections. He had to tell her about that time/place and also what regrets he's had or not had since then.

sholva> cool

Lokien> Good work, Leikha. :-)

Leikha> Thanks. :-)

Squirrel_McPants> Yeah, so that's what I did.

MairzyDoats> What did you say?

Squirrel_McPants> I don't really have to divulge that do I?

Vexin> No, I don't think so. :-)

MairzyDoats> Awww...

Squirrel_McPants> Good. Thanks.

Vexin> But I do think we need to hear from Miss Silent over there. How did he do, Walking?

WalkingDisaster> We had a very nice conversation. I learned a few things I didn't know before. :-)

Leikha> Nothing else to add?

WalkingDisaster> No, I don't think details are necessary. I think he did was he was asked to do.

sholva> spoilsport

Vexin> Shush. This isn't the Penthouse forum. ;-)

Leikha> Oh, I forgot to tell you guys my news!

MairzyDoats> What?

Leikha> I'm quitting my job at the end of the year.

Lokien> Really? Why?

Leikha> Well, as evidenced by the task I gave Squirrel, I've been thinking lately about regrets and taking chances.

sholva> Yeah?

MairzyDoats> Okay....

Leikha> so I got in contact with the New England Conservatory of Music.

Vexin> That's where you applied to after high school, right?

Leikha> Applied and was accepted, yes.

Squirrel_McPants> Accepted? For what?

Leikha> Piano. I've played the piano my whole life.

WalkingDisaster> Leikha - that's awesome! I didn't know that about you!

Leikha> Yeah, well I got a call this morning and if I go out for a follow-up audition and I haven't lost my ability, they'll be happy to accept me again.

MairzyDoats> WOW!

Vexin> But isn't it $$$? Didn't you have trouble with $$ before?

Leikha> It's going to be very tight, and I'll probably have to give in and get a few loans, but I decided I can't let that stop me.

Lokien> That's great news - congratulations!

MairzyDoats> What did Derek say?

sholva> Who's Derek?

MairzyDoats> Her boyfriend.

Leikha> My boyfriend. He wasn't nearly as happy as I was.

Vexin> No?

Leikha> He thought it was crazy. Well, that I was crazy, actually.

WalkingDisaster> Oh no. :-(

Leikha> Yeah he ranted on about it, but then he shut up when I said I was breaking up with him.

MairzyDoats> Leikha!

Leikha> Fresh start all the way around. :-D

Vexin> Impressive. Good for you!

Leikha> Thanks. You can blame Squirrel McPants. ;-)

Squirrel_McPants> If this makes you happy, I'll take all the blame in the world.

Lokien> But will you let her crash at your place if she can't get a job when it's all said and done? ;-)

Squirrel_McPants> She won't need to. But yes.

Squirrel_McPants> (as long as WD says it's okay!)

WalkingDisaster> LOL - like you need my permission to do anything. :-P

WalkingDisaster> (But yes she can stay if need be.) ;-)

Vexin> That's so exciting, Leikha! I just hope you don't forget about us when you become famous!

Leikha> Never - you guys are the best. :)

MairzyDoats> So have we agreed that Squirrel has successfully completed Leikha's task?

Vexin> I guess that's up to her. Leiks?

Leikha> I'd say definitely, but WD's got the final say so. Do you think he explained himself well enough?

WalkingDisaster> *thinks* Well......

Squirrel_McPants> Hey!

WalkingDisaster> You did forget the fireworks. ;-)

Squirrel_McPants> Says who? Is the night over yet?

WalkingDisaster> True. ;-)

Vexin> LOL !!

Lokien> Do you guys need a private room?

WalkingDisaster> haha - no, I'm just teasing him. It's a private joke.

sholva> So is he done or not?

WalkingDisaster> Yeah, he's done with that one.

Squirrel_McPants> Great - 3 down, a million more to go?

Vexin> Not quite that many, Squirrel - but are you ready for me to send you the next one?

WalkingDisaster> Oh, hold off on that, Vex - I've already got an idea for his next task.

Vexin> Oh?

MairzyDoats> ooh - do tell. :)

WalkingDisaster> Well, it probably won't mean much to you guys, but I know it's going to be the toughest task he'll ever have to do.

Lokien> sounds intriguing.

WalkingDisaster> Squirrel's next task has to do with improving his interpersonal skills.

Squirrel_McPants> Pam, no. You don't mean the one I'm thinking of.

WalkingDisaster> Oh, yes. His task can best be described by three words: Dwight K. Shrute.

Leikha> Who?

Squirrel_McPants> No!!

Lokien> Who's that?

sholva> Who's Pam??