Pam gets a ride home from Casino Night in Angela's car, and Dwight's in the passenger seat. He opens the window a tiny crack as Angela pushes the presets of the radio. She settles on a station that makes Dwight look at her from the corner of his eye and smile. He nods his head in time to the music. Pam can see him in the side mirror, and she closes her eyes. Neither of them asks why she's crying.
But when they get to her house, Angela cuts the engine and the three of them sit, in silence, just a little bit of wind whistling through the still open window. Finally, after five minutes, Pam sighs so loudly that Dwight jumps. She stirs, gathering her bag.
"See you on Monday," says Angela, and her voice is kind. She hands Pam a tissue and Pam takes it.
"Thanks," she says, in a small voice.
"Feel better," Dwight tells her, as she gets out. She doesn't say anything. She wonders if they know.
As they pull away, headlights bright on her dark street, Pam wobbles in her high heels up the driveway. The windows glow with the ghostly light of the television, and the tree leaves dip and sway in the breeze. She hears Roy laugh distantly.
She tries to think of him, how he waited up for her even though he was tired, but instead all she can see is Jim.
-----
It is four in the morning when she begins to draw.
She starts out sketching the way the branches stretch out from the tree trunks in the yard, but halfway through they become his hands. His fingers span a waist, hers, and then she is drawing both of them, how she thinks they must have looked last night.
She slips out of bed and leaves Roy a note on a ripped scrap of drawing paper, even though she's pretty sure he won't worry. She writes out the basics in blue colored pencil: how they probably shouldn't go through with the wedding, that she's moving out, and that she should have done this a long time ago. It's not him, except that it is, because can he really say he loves her? Can she say she really loves him? She knows the answer and she writes that down too. I can't, the paper says in her neat, even handwriting. And she means it.
She finishes with: We'll talk later tonight, if you want. I'll be gone by tomorrow morning.
When she picks up the phone, her hands are shaking and then she thinks again of Jim, how steady and sure he was when he kissed her. It gives her enough courage to dial a number she's memorized but never called.
His voice is hoarse. "'Lo?"
"Hi. Can you meet me at the park?"
-----
Pam drives carefully, sits on a bench and waits. There are already runners on the trail, but they ignore her and she pretends she doesn't see them either. One man and his wife are walking, and Pam looks up at them. She smiles. The woman tilts her head and smiles back, and Pam watches them wander away. She sees the man reach over and hold the woman's hand.
She twists her fingers together, the bareness of the left one stark and obvious. She feels lighter, though, like before she was weighed down and maybe now she could fly.
"Pam?"
She looks up and there he is, his hair going every which way, and she wants to reach up and smooth it out for him. Instead she stands and smiles, a tiny, brave smile. "Walk with me?" she asks.
He squints his eyes at her. He's curious, and maybe nervous, but a smile spreads over his face in spite of himself. "Okay."
She tells him everything. He laughs and smiles at all the right places in her story, especially when she tells him about Dwight and the radio, and by the look on his face, he's not surprised they're together. He looks sad when she talks about crying in the backseat of Angela's car. When she gets to the part where she left Roy, he stops and stares at her.
"Why?" he asks, and his eyes are hopeful but he tries to hide it.
"Because. Because of a lot of things. Mostly," she says, turning to face him, "because I'm in love with you, too."
"What?"
"I'm -"
"I heard you," he says, covering his mouth with his hand. He hides a huge grin. "I heard you. I'm just - I'm trying to make sure I'm awake, here." He laughs, and it's a sound of pure joy. "Are we dreaming?" he asks, and he is really wondering.
"I hope not," she says, and laughs too. "If we are, then I'll have to do this all over again when I wake up. I'd really like for that not to happen."
"Pinch me," he tells her.
She does.
"Ow, I was kidding," he says, but he laughs even harder. "Wow. I just - can..."
"I'm sorry it took so long," she says, and he takes her hand.
"I don't even - look, you said it, and that's all I wanted. Well, okay... um, maybe not all, but, yeah, it's pretty close." He sighs, and when she looks over he's bursting - his smile is so big it barely fits on his face.
"Nice," she jokes, "that's really appropriate. Thanks for that."
"Well," he says. "It's just... hey, can I use your phone?"
"Uh," she says. "Do you have to, like, call and settle a bet in the office or something?"
"Actually, I was going to call Dwight and tell him the good news."
She laughs in delight. "Shut up. I hate you."
"Um, that's not what you said before," he says, beaming. "Seriously. Can I see your phone?"
"Sure," she says, and hands it over. She tilts her head and narrows her eyes as he dials.
"Hi, this is um, this is Jim Halpert," he says, "and I was wondering if Jan Levinson is in yet?"
"What are you doing?" Pam asks in a whisper.
He shushes her, smiling. "Oh, that's okay, can you just maybe tell her I won't be transferring? I, um, there's... There's just something about the Scranton office that I... I would really miss." He looks at Pam. "Okay, thank you. No, tell her that's all. Thanks. Bye."
"You were transferring?"
"Not anymore, Beesly," Jim says, and slips her phone into her coat pocket. "So... you want to call Dwight, then?
She just smiles and shakes her head. "You are the biggest dork," she says.
"Oh, but you love me," he jokes, and she leans into him, watching the sun rise a little higher. Light sifts through the trees and settles in bright spots on his coat, on the path, in his eyes.
"You are never going to let that go, are you?"
"Hmmm. Let's see..." he stops, pretending to think, and she walks on for a step or two. His hand finds hers again, and suddenly he's pulling her into him, his hands in her hair. "No," he says, "never."
When he kisses her this time, she doesn't pull away.
Story Notes:
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Title is from The Postal Service song of the same name.
Title is from The Postal Service song of the same name.
Chapter End Notes:
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