He lightly grazed the back of his hand over her cheek, as he looked into her eyes. His emotions were overwhelming him. He didn't know how he had expected her to react to his question, but he had been shocked at the force of her words. His instincts had been right; she had broke it off with Roy because of him. And what had he done? Instead of letting the consequences of what happened that night sink in with her...instead of giving her time to process her emotions, he had run away. He felt the sting of her anger, and hated himself for hurting her.
'My first day.' he whispered. His voice sounded so far away, even to himself. The sound of it seemed to snap her out of her daze.
She blinked, and said 'What?'
'My first day at work.' he continued, his mouth agonizingly close to hers. The were still pressed together, Pam with her back against the front door.
'I was nervous, but excited at the same time.' He smiled in that shy, adorable way of his, that always made her feel like a bell was going off in her stomach. 'So I show up... a few minutes late naturally. And the first person I saw, was you.' He paused again, and she wouldn't have been able to move if she'd wanted to. 'You were so sweet, and you warned me about Dwight, and...you smiled at me. And that was it. I knew...right then. And there's never been anyone else for me. No matter how many times i told myself it wouldn't happen. that i was just a friend to you. I always wanted more. Hoped...for more.' He broke eye contact with her for a split second, before his gaze returned to her face and continued. 'All that time, working with you, being your friend...it was everything to me. And I did my best to...handle your relationship with Roy. But it never got easier.'
'Jim...'
'That night in May, when I told you how I felt...i had been imagining that moment for...so long, and it always had a happy ending. So..' he backed away from her and put his hands in his pockets once again. ' when it didn't...i panicked. And I left. I know that wasn't fair to you.' He turned away, and she reached out to put her hand on his back, but stopped herself. She had so much she wanted to say to him...but her mind couldn't process her thoughts fast enough. He looked back at her, and there was the saddest smile on his beautiful face. She saw his eyes glistening, and she wanted to take him in her arms, and make him see how much she loved him. She reached out and grabbed his hand. He didn't pull away, but looked at the floor as if he was suddenly self-conscious.
'I know i've screwed everything up. I handled things in the worst possible way. And i'm so sorry.' He moved closer to her....and his voice dropped to barely above a whisper. 'I love you. If i'm too late, then i'll just have to find a way to live with that.'
Her brain felt like it was melting in on itself, and she was unable to say a word. He looked at her for a few seconds more, lightly brushing the hair from her face. He quietly moved past her, slipping out the front door.
Her body seemed to sag and she heard his footsteps fading. She felt the wall behind her, and slowly slid to the floor. Her face buried in her hands.
**
She was late for work the next morning. The rest of the night had passed by in a tear-filled haze, and by the time she realized what time it was, it was after 7am. Even with doing her best to rush through her normal routine, and skipping breakfast, she had still been 20mins late. On the short drive to work, she went over what she wanted to say to Jim that morning. She never should have let him walk out of her apartment last night. She should have sat him down and spilled everything. But she had just been so overwhelmed by his showing up in the middle of the night, and bringing back all those memories. And the way he had kissed her...with such longing and regret. Yes...she had to get him alone. She had so much she wanted...had to say to him. What had come briefly pouring out of her the night before, had only been the tip of the iceberg. And she had said those things out of confusion, and hurt. It had absolutely not come out the way she would have wanted it to. So, she didn't care if she had to lock the two of them in the conference room, he was going to listen to her.
But when she arrived at the office, she immediately noticed Jim's desk was empty. Her heart sank, and she immediately feared the worst; He had left town again. She was almost weak with worry as she slowly approached Dwight who was slumped over her his computer screen. He looked up at her and seemed to scrutinize more then usual.
'Sleeping in is a luxury the Shrutes have never known. We accomplish more by 3am then most people do in a week. By the looks of it, sleep doesn't agree with you Pam. You look worse then Merideth.'
'I'm standing right here, damnit!' the older woman shouted from behind him.
'Dwight, do you know where Jim is? Is he on a sales call?' Pam said
He chuckled to himself 'And why would Jim be out on a sales call, and not me? I think the numbers speak...' he started in.
'Oh for the love of muppets, not today Dwight.'
Pam turned and saw Michael standing in the doorway to his office.
'Oh...Pam you're here. Well ok, good... I need your help.' he waved her inside.
She followed him, and closed the door.
'Michael...where's Jim? Is he out of the office this morning?' she hoped she didn't sound too desperate.
'Asked for a sick day. I thought you had done the same thing.' He smiled and sat behind his desk.
'Why would I do that?' she asked
'Well, when you weren't here this morning, I figured you two had let love lift you up where you belong, and who am I to stand in the way, am I right? I mean, granted this is a bad day, employee wise, considering Karen quit...but you two.' he pointed at her, and then brought up his other hand, bringing the two index fingers together. 'You two...well, you're like my family. Like my siblings.' Pausing again, he said 'Of course that would make you and Jim brother and sister which is a little weird...'
'Wait...' Pam didn't know where to begin. But then, she rarely did when talking to her boss. 'Why would...Jim and I...how did?'
Michael leaned back in his chair. 'Jim and I had an intense rap session last night, at Phyllis' wedding. Just one of many, and Jim was feeling a little blue about seeing you with Roy and I gave him my counsel. ' he smiled 'Free of charge of course.' he laughed.
'You gave Jim advice...about me and Roy?'
' I listened...as best friends do, to how he saw you leave the wedding with Roy, and that he wasn't over you so he had to break up with Karen. I thought he would have gone over all that with you when he went to your apartment last night?'
It suddenly hit her. The reason he had left things the way he did last night. The reason he wasn't at work this morning. He thought she was back together with Roy. That's what he meant about it being 'too late'. God, she could be so stupid.
She stood up, and said to Michael 'Listen, I think will take that sick day, if it's alright?'
'Yeah...ok.' She turned to go, but then remembered he had asked for her help.
'Did you need something first?'
'No...I got it. Not a problem.'
'Thanks Michael.'
As she left, he turned back to his computer screen. He smacked the side of the monitor. 'Damn you, Sudoku.'
***
leftofcenter is the author of 0 other stories.
This story is a favorite of 14 members. Members who liked Just Like Love also liked 1755 other stories.
