Michael, with a brown face, seemed stressed as he talked to the camera.
"Well, it's Halloween. Time for candy and fun, dressing up all…. Imaginatory… ily …" A fake smile was plastered to his face as he attempted to sound excited. "I passed out sour gummy worms to the kiddies of the office who dressed up… which was everybody but Stanley because he is a man who has no Halloween spirit… no worries though…." His voice trailed off, and he seemed brought down by something as he slouched in his chair. "Hm?" Leaning in, he listened to the camera man. "Me? Glum? On Halloween? That's ridiculous!" As he laughed, his phone rang and he picked it up, giving the camera the signal for just a minute. "Great Scott! Michael Scott….." His face dropped. "Oh, hi Jan…. yes…. Uh huh…. Uh huh…." He turned his back to the camera and began to whisper. "You know…. Maybe you should see if they're hiring at the school….. well you could be a really hot lunch lady…."
The line clicked on the other end as Jan hung up.
He paused, then set the phone in its cradle, turning to the camera. "Jan's still unemployed….. and since I'm in debt, I've been hoping she would get a job so we could have more moolah….." Sounding depressed about his tense relationship, he brought back a smile. "Moolah, moolah, moolah... it's what makes the world go 'round and Papa Scott don't got enough of it right now.... and he couldn't afford the costume he wanted."
Just then, Oscar in his poodle skirt came in.
"Oscar! Embracing your.... homo-ness I see." The phony OJ giggled at the camera. "Bet you loved Hairspray, huh?"
Oscar pursed his lips to refrain from saying something about the remark. "Michael, I...."
"Cross-dresser!" Michael coughed. "All of the men of your tribe totally dig that, don't they?"
"Um... Michael, instead of answering that I am going to just tell you I have worked on your personal debt and set up a comprehensive plan to get you out of debt...."
~%~%~%~%~%
"Michael has put himself in debt... mainly by purchasing magic kits, several copies of the complete DVD set of Friends and Sienfield, a wholesale box of whoopie cushions, a mannequin he dressed as himself so he could leave the office with a body double in his place, a puppet that looks like Ryan when he wanted to be a ventriloquist, a steel drum... So... yes..." Oscar nodded his head slowly and let out a long sigh. "A lot of reckless spending, and Jan came in a few days ago and asked if Accounting could help him out with his finances.... I personally don't think she trusts him...."
~%~%~%~%~%
"The Seinfeld and Friends DVDs? Well, I've bought multiple copies because every time I lose a DVD, I need to replace it. It's not like you can buy those seasons separately...."
~%~%~%~%~%
Michael, as his wig made him what to scratch his scalp, skimmed the plan Ocsar had handed him. "Mmmmmmm, nope."
"Excuse me?"
"Excuse you? Excuse me... Oscar.... but this plan is absurd. I basically can't go out and buy anything that I need." He tossed the file back at Oscar, the papers exploding out and scattering all over the room.
Oscar, stunned, blinked a few times. "Michael you can purchase necessities, you just can't buy props, magic kits, go to the movies....."
"But those ARE necessities Oscar. And this... this is just unacceptable." He gestured angrily, trying to figure out what to further say. "This is a travesty and I will not take this."
"This is a travesty?"
"Yes."
"Really?"
"Gaw.... geez Oscar you are so clueless!" Michael's anger flared as he wasn't getting his way. "These are needs."
"No, they aren't."
"Yes, they are."
"No, they are...."
"Ahmenashiplick!"
Oscar stopped talked after being assaulted with gibberish.
"Now." Michael calmed his voice. "I want you and all of accounting to go and come up with another plan and have it on my desk at the end of the day."
"But we have work."
"I know, but my financial issue is more important than your job, isn't it?"
~%~%~%~%~%
Super Jim was sitting next to his sidekick Pam, eating a bag of chips as she thoughtfully worked on a low fat mixed berry yogurt. They were silent for the most part, both with an inward, happy, knowing countenance to them.
"So uh.... is it ridiculous that I am nervous about all of this?" he asked in a soft voice.
She shook her head, honey curls bouncing whle her tiara glimmered as she licked her spoon. "I am. Kinda."
"Kinda?"
"Kinda." Giggling, she shrugged her shoulders, shifting her eyes towards him and gave a warm look. "It's a big step."
"Yeah... it... um.. it is..."
Hearing the tone in his voice, she furrowed her brows with concern. "Are you having doubts?"
"No! Absolutely not. It's just... it's going to be a lot of work, and a lot of commitment...." Casting his soulful eyes to the tabletop, he looked back up at her. "It's that whole nervous thing... that and I'm wondering about a boy or a girl and names....." He stopped talking as they felt someone behind them.
Dwight watched them with a shrewd eye.
"So, um..." Jim talked with more of a hush to his voice. "I was thinking maybe this weekend... I dunno..."
Dwight went over to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of beet juice from a shelf.
"Well, I've been making a shopping list at my desk...." Pam added with a same nervousness to the subject. Trying to mask it, she bit her lip before coming up with something. "You know... for all that extra candy we're gonna need tonight."
"Right. Candy."
~%~%~%~%~%
Dwight scowled at the camera.
"Boy? Girl? Names? List?" He scoffed, then gave a more determined expression. "I cringe at the thought of Halpert's seed taking root." Pausing, he conjured up a description. "…Like Sharon's Cylon baby on Battlestar....."
~%~%~%~%~%
Starbuck Dwight scuttled over to Angela the cat.
She looked up at him in annoyance, and the garish pirate tilted his chin up to watch as Angela was his girl now. Rolling her eyes, she gave an un-amused face. "What?"
He was practically giddy as his mouth twitched with anxiety. Finally, something to get back into her good graces. "I have some office gossip."
"Gossip is a sin." She countered, not wanting to talk to him as Sprinkles was still a fresh, festering kitty wound.
"What if it IS about a sin?"
Oscar the sock hop girl and Kevin the king watched with warranted suspicion.
~%~%~%~%~%
Angela's face was like etched granite.
Stern, pinched, judgmental and painted with nose and whiskers.
"I always knew she was a hussy. And now she's burdened with an illegitimate child?" She sighed in disagreement to the turn of events "It just starts a vicious circle of sinful lust and broken families. I feel bad for that baby..." Her eyes narrow and her face turns stern. "I saw this coming a mile away."
~%~%~%~%~%
Kevin's Burger King crown was jaunted to the side in an attempt at attitude.
"So, I overheard Dwight and Angela talking about Pam and Jim. PB & J are having a...." Kevin was suddenly very puzzled with how to end the statement. "Grilled cheese?" He heaved his slumped shoulders and gave a lazy smile. "Niiiice."
~%~%~%~%~%
Oscar had his head titled ever so slightly to the side. It made the ponytail wig bob.
"So Jim and Pam?" He mulled it over, his face tinged with blush as his mascaraed eyelashes batted. "Wow.... I wish them the best." His voice was sincere, yet he suddenly changed to a somber attitude. "That and I hope that Michael doesn't wreck their moment."
~%~%~%~%~%
The party planning comittee sat around the conference table. Miss. DunderMifflin Receptionist with a sketchbook, idly drawing while the white cat dictated, the pirate next to the feline. The butterfly listened, though she was more or less intrigued by Pam's artwork of the Victorian house that was at the corner of town.
Angela pulled her head out of her notes, eyes skimming the area, and her face looking like a peeved off Persian. "Is anyone listening to me?"
"Well, you know I am pretty kitty," Andy chimed in, as he had naturally joined the committee in order to get closer to Angela.
" I know you are…. But these two…."
"Hm?" Phyllis looked up and saw the simmering wrath of an accountant staring her in the face.
"Did you hear anything that I said?!"
"No… I was watching Pam." She bowed her head, clearly not the dominant type. "She's drawing the Stein's house for them and it's…."
Pam bit her upper lip and shut the book. She had in fact been drawing, and was getting paid for this drawing too. A few people in town had seen and liked her stuff, so they wanted a few pieces to hang up. She was flattered, having a blast, and found it an effective way of ignoring Angela or Dwight when she and Jim didn't have a plan cooked up.
"We're at a meeting right now." Angela cut off the older woman, her face set as she chided. "This is not art hour." Addressing Pam, "We have a party in a few hours and we must decide on decorations."
"Yes! Decisions!" Andy backed her.
"I'm sorry, but I thought you really didn't need us." Pam shrugged her shoulders. "I mean, you always have it planned out." Making an unhappy face, she took a deep breath. "Can I be excused? I'm not feeling too well." Before Angela could answer, she rose up, gathered her pencil and sketchbook, and left.
The door shut behind Pam when she left.
Angela's mouth dropped in disbelief before she promptly scowled. "Just because she's in the condition she's in… making up excuses…."
"What. Do. You. Know…..?" The pirate leaned in, ready for juicy gossip.
"Condition?" The butterfly, trapped in the room with the cat showed genuine worry. "What's wrong with Pam? Is she ok?"
"It's just gossip. But…."
~%~%~%~%~%
Phyllis beamed.
"Pam and Jim are going to have a baby…. That's so cute. They'll make great parents…. I just hope Michael doesn't pressure them to make him godfather…."
~%~%~%~%~%
"ALL RIGHT TUNA!" The pirate's smile was amazingly broad. "Boom chica wah wah! He totally hit that! Sunk it in! Knocked her up! Tuna you dog.... We got ourselves a love child a'comin."
Author's Chapter Notes:
Wow, many thanks for the shiny stars. And Happy Halloween everyone! If you're in the middle of California, in the foothills, ad a community college and you find a dashingly dressed female pirate. That's me.
Chapter End Notes:
Comments are like Candycorn on Halloween ;)
