from Karen Filippelli < kafil1078@gmail.com >
to JT < sweetums56442@gmail.com >
date May 17, 2007 6:34 PM
subject disregard my last
Well, whatever I said before, forget it. It's over. I'm not sure how coherent this email will be because I'm still crying, but I'll try to give you the whole story.
After my last email, which I wrote from my blackberry sitting next to a fountain, Jim came up to me and he looked really serious. I asked him how the interview went, and he didn't answer me at first. Finally, he said he didn't get the job. I tried to be sympathetic, thinking, well, at least I still have a shot and one of us will wind up with it, but then he clarified. He didn't get the job because he told the CFO he didn't want it.
I didn't understand why he would take his name out of the running like that. Did he find out something I didn't know, like the job required the person to kick puppies or something? So I asked him why, and he said it was because New York just wasn't for him. That's when my heart stopped for a second, because if he didn't think NYC was for him, then that would mean he wasn't going to move here with me, and if he didn't want to move here then... you probably know where this is going.
So I asked him, point blank, if it had anything to do with her. He couldn't even look me in the eye. He waited a long time before he answered, and then he told me he was still in love with her. What. The. Fuck. After all that, everything we've been through, he was in love with her the whole fucking time. Our whole relationship was a big fat lie. God, how could I be so stupid? I feel like the biggest idiot. I mean, I thought we had a great time last night. And his love for her sure didn't stop him from fucking ME this morning before our interviews. Thanks for making me feel like a whore, asshole.
I begged him not to do this to me, but I'm not sure why I did that, since it probably just made me sound pathetic. He said he was sorry, blah blah blah. Whatever. And then he said he would drive me back to Scranton, which is when I told him to fuck off, I would find my own way back. He argued with me for a minute but he didn't put up much of a fight, and then he left me there, crying like a baby in a public place. It was one of the most humiliating experiences of my life.
So I am at Marie's place right now. We're going out and getting shitfaced drunk tonight, and then I plan on staying the weekend to get my head together. After that, I don't know.
I really wish you were here.
Author's Chapter Notes:
This one is still during The Job.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
