Chapter 2: The Hangovers.
Jim stopped before going through the doors that led to the office. He didn’t want to do this. He barely got through last night seeing Pam just walk away the way she did. But he couldn’t just stand there, otherwise some way or another Dwight would realize he was loitering outside.
He shook his head, he could just turn around and go home, take a day off. Or five. But he knew that was just a set up too, then the memories could get at him. He wasn’t so bothered with them when he was working or doing something but when he was alone, they ate away at him. And sooner or later, there’d be nothing left.
He pushed the door open and hung his head low. But when he looked up, Pam wasn’t behind the counter. He stopped almost shortly. Where was she? Jim turned to head to his desk when Dwight appeared in front off him.
Jim stopped abruptly.
“Where is Pam?” Dwight asked annoyingly.
He already felt a headache coming on. “How would I know that Dwight?”
He shrugged and it made Jim want to punch him. “Because you always know where each other are.”
Jim’s eyes shifted to the floor. Jesus. If Dwight, of all people made, him feel like he was going to cry he should really go home. “Not now Dwight.”
He tried walking away when Dwight got in front of him. “Now wait a min—“
“I said not now.” Jim almost shouted. He took off in the direction of the kitchen. He was praying Pam couldn’t make it to work today.
~*~*~
Pam got onto the elevator and pushed up. Her head was pounding from all the drinks she had last night. Luckily Roy was asleep when she got home, she was pretty sure she would have spilled everything if he would’ve been awake. But that was what Pam could always count on Roy for. Not being up when she got home or being too drunk to even notice. She shook her head and contemplated taking another aspirin as she got off the elevator.
As she got to the office doors she heard someone’s voice—Jim’s?—shouting. She hesitated and finally pushed open the doors.
“You’re late Pam!” Dwight said rudely. He didn’t seem to fazed that someone had just yelled at him.
“What are you going to do Dwight? Put me in time out?”
“I might just have to do that.” Dwight nodded almost certainly. With that he turned into Michael’s office. She really didn’t need this today.
She looked up and saw someone coming out of the kitchen. Jim.
~*~*~
Jim ran his hand over his face for the fiftieth time. He needed to get control of himself and his emotions. They were getting him into trouble recently, even if they did just tell the girl of his dreams what needed to be said.
He finally pushed open the kitchen door and looked up. Pam.
~*~*~
Pam tried giving him a light smile but he had ducked his head down and walked to his desk. Great. This had to stop now or at least as soon as possible. Someone was going to get hurt and then she realized someone already had.
“Hey...” she said pulling his arm toward the conference room. “Can we talk?”
He only nodded. He didn’t feel like talking anymore, not to her anyway. But nonetheless he let her drag him into the conference room and shut the door. Because that was what he was good at, letting people pull him every which way.
“What do you want?” he asked. He was kind of surprised at how rude he was able to be to her, seeing as he’s never done it before. No, he usually left that up to Roy.
“Look, I’m really sorry…” she started.
He nodded again. He really had no words. Of course she was sorry, everyone is at some point. “Yeah, I bet.”
She stopped. “Ok, let me try again...”
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this.”
Pam sighed. She didn’t expect him to be so upset and angry. But she didn’t blame him; she remembered why he was this way in the first place.
“You can’t even hear me out?” She just wanted to say sorry and fix it. She needed him to let her fix it.
Jim shook his head almost giving a harsh laugh of irony. “No.” He paused and made sure what he said next was emphasized. “I can’t.”
Now Pam looked up at him, straight into his eyes. He had a whole lot of angry bravado filling him but behind that he was just plain hurt.
“Ok look we all did and said things that I’m sure were sorry for, I know I did.”
“You think I’m sorry for telling the truth?” He said upset. “You have no idea how much courage it took me to say that to you!”
“Please don’t yell ok? My head is pounding as it is.”
He felt like kicking and throwing things just to make her cringe. “I’m not yelling.” He said simply. “In fact, I’m not saying anything at all.”
Jim shrugged his shoulders and opened door heading back to his desk. He tiredly ran his hands over his face again. Damn. For someone who had trouble getting three simple words out the night before, he had a pretty big mouth.
~*~*~
Pam wants to cry. Cry as loud and as hard as she can. She really screwed things up for herself. For Jim. She’s almost shocked because she never expected him to be that way; she didn’t even think Jim could yell at her. Or yell in general. She’d seen him frustrated before but she never saw him angry. It was surprising to see him that way and she never wanted to see him like that again. Let alone cause it.
She went back to her desk and scrubbed her face trying to stop relentless tears falling down her cheeks. If Jim saw how much he’d hurt her she’d be embarrassed beyond belief. She knew exactly how much she had hurt him last night, because he had just done it to her.
~*~*~
He made her cry and now he felt like an ass. He never thought he’d step that low, low enough just to get back at someone. Especially Pam. Never ever wanted to make her cry, Roy did enough of that he was sure. It twisted his insides and he wanted to fix it. But he couldn’t. He needed to be strong on this, didn’t want to be stepped on again. He had to be strong, he just had to.
Jim felt her eyes on him and something sick swirled in his stomach. He turned his chair slightly so he was facing Phillys and Stanley. It’s funny how when he used to feel her eyes on him he’d turn and grin at her. But not anymore.
Now its turning chairs and making her face his back.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Enjoy and comments {good or bad} = love
Chapter End Notes:
Thanks to all who are reading! means alot
