II. Three French breads 

Pam sighed and immediately decided that the truth was the easiest option. “He wanted a woman’s opinion on your Christmas present, Kelly.” 

“And he asked you?” Kelly’s voice and expression conveyed her skepticism. Jim, overhearing, threw an annoyed grimace at the camera, while Pam suppressed another sigh.  

“I think you’re going to lo…like it a lot,” she said. 

Kelly’s demeanor changed instantly. Smiling and clasping her hands, she said, “Oh, Pam, really? Oh, you have to tell me. What is it? Tell me, tell me.” Pam smilingly shook her head, but Kelly persisted. “Please, Pam. Pleeeeeeease. Tell me, tell me, come on, please. Please please please please, tell me, please Pam, please.”

Jim looked up, about to intervene, when Angela came back through the area. “Excuse me, Pam. If you are done with your…,” she paused and gave Kelly a look, “…personal conversation, I think we need to talk about the Christmas party. Can you join me in the conference room?”  

Kelly rolled her eyes at the camera. “Angela thinks she’s better than me. Well, we’ll just see what her loser boyfriend gets her for Christmas. Wait, who is she dating now? It is still Andy, right? Yeah, Darryl’s definitely better than Andy.”  

Angela looked haggard, and Pam thought there was something unusual about her request. Why would she ask only Pam, instead of convening the whole committee? Curious and still concerned, Pam agreed immediately. “Sorry, Kelly,” she said cheerily, and followed Angela to the conference room. 

As soon as they had both entered, Angela closed the door and the blinds. Once comfortable that she was mostly obscured from the camera, Angela began. “First, I apologize for lying, Pam. I don’t actually want to discuss Michael’s ridiculous party.”  

“Oh. That’s OK. Is everything all right?” Pam’s voice was carefully neutral. 

“No. Not really.” Angela paused. “This is…really humiliating. However, I know that you’re not morally in a position to judge me, so I thought I could safely discuss it with you.”

 “OK.” Pam answered flatly. 

Angela continued, a tremor in her voice betraying how near she was to tears. “Listen, I don’t have anyone else to talk to, all right?” 

Pam’s tone softened. “All right. What is it? Are you sick?” Angela really hadn’t been looking well, and she’d seemed drained for days. 

“I’m not sick…I mean, yes, I don’t feel well…can you please not interrupt?” 

“Sorry.” 

“It’s just that…the person I was seeing before Andy, he and I…we gave in to our sinful lusts.” 

“Oh! Well, Angela, that’s nothing to…” 

Angela continued over Pam’s interruption. “And now, I think…I think I may be carrying his child.” 

There was silence for a long moment.  

“Wow,” Pam finally breathed. “Oh, Angela. I- “ she broke off abruptly. “Angela, did you turn your microphone off?” she asked. 

“Oh, my God,” Angela wailed. Angela threw open the conference room and dashed out, tossing her microphone to the floor. It landed with a pop and a squeal. 

“Angela, wait!” Pam ran out behind her. She glanced around the office. Andy, Jim, and Dwight were all in Michael’s office with the door closed. Phyllis was still at her sales call. Stanley hadn’t even glanced up, but he was sitting at his desk. 

Yanking her own microphone pack off, Pam made a decision. “Stanley, I need to go after Angela. Can you please tell Jim that’s where I’ve gone?” Stanley looked up. Pam rarely spoke so quickly or in such an urgent tone. He nodded and turned back to his computer screen. “Thanks,” Pam said over her shoulder as she moved toward her desk.  

She set the phone lines to automatic voice mail and grabbed her coat and purse. Pausing, she grabbed the coat off the back of Jim’s chair and ran toward the steps, the cameraman close on her heels. She stopped at the doorway to the stairwell. “No,” she said. “Not now, not this.” Her face was set, her eyes fierce. The cameraman turned and went back into the office. 

Just then, Michael’s door opened. Andy emerged, looking dejected. Jim patted him on the back, grinning at the camera. “Sorry, big guy. Dwight wins this round.” 

Dwight followed, looking smug. “That’s right. I have single-handedly created new life for this office.” 

Dwight sat up straight, proud to address the cameras. “Michael liked my idea for an employee incentive program much more than Andy’s. Even Jim, despite his ignorance, recognized its inherent superiority. It will certainly increase efficiency, which will definitely impress…anyone who likes efficiency.” 

The three salesmen settled into their chairs. “Hey, Jim,” Stanley drawled. “Pam said to tell you she was going to lunch with Angela.” Jim turned toward reception. He’d noticed that she wasn’t there when he came out of Michael’s office, of course, but it hadn’t occurred to him that Pam had actually left the building. He raised an eyebrow. He was surprised more than concerned, but it was definitely odd.  

A few minutes had passed when Kevin ambled up to Jim’s desk. “Hey, Jim. Have you seen Pam or Angela?” he asked. 

“No. Apparently they’re at lunch,” Jim answered. 

"Oh, OK. I was going to tell them that I’d sign up for the third day of Christmas. I figure they’re going to ask for volunteers, and that one’s the easiest.” Kevin looked very pleased with himself. 

“The easiest? You think?” Jim was intrigued and amused, as he often was when dealing with Kevin and his unique thought patterns. 

“Well, yeah. I mean, who wants to figure out what they mean by four calling birds when the third day is 'three French breads'? Buy three of those long skinny things and you're done.” He looked suddenly wary. “Don’t steal my idea, though. I’m calling the third day.”

 “You got it, Kev,” Jim said amiably, although he did raise his eyebrows at the camera as the big guy walked away. Out of habit, he glanced over at the tall reception desk to share the laugh with Pam. Remembering that she was out, he sank back into his chair with a rueful smile.  

As Jim felt the back of his chair, a look of concern washed over his features. He sat straight up, and turned around to look at the back of his chair. “Oh no,” he said quietly. “Dwight, did you move my coat?” he said tightly. 

“Of course not,” was Dwight’s answer. “I, unlike you, do not resort to meaningless and ineffective pranks to try to establish my dominance.”  

“OK. Um, Andy? Have you seen my coat?” Andy covered the mouthpiece of his phone. “That’s a big ol’ negatory, Big Tuna,” Andy replied, then resumed his phone call.

Jim sprang up, pacing around the office. He looked carefully at the floor near the coat rack. He looked back into the conference room, and even stuck his head into Michael’s office. Panic was evident on his face. Finally, he went into the small room that the documentary crew used for individual interviews. 

Jim’s face and body language were unusually tense. “Seriously, do you guys know what happened to my coat? Pam’s Christmas present was in the pocket. I can’t…I can’t lose it. Please?”