Disclaimer: I own nothing.
"No, I mean you really seem to have a strong connection. " She heard the bitterness that tinged his usually teasing tones.
Pam couldn't think of how to convey to Jim how much the past few months had cost her emotionally, there were so many things to say. But all she could get out was a soft, "Not anymore. It's - um - it's completely over... now." She tried to convey to him just how over it really was, but more importantly why. In the past, he would have known, would have intuitively picked up that there was more to her words then what she said. Now however, he was shut down to her. He heard the regret in her voice, her words colored by sadness, but he refused to interpret anything, purely out of the fear of misinterpreting anything -- ever again. He had Karen, he wouldn't let her back into his heart or his head. Not again.
"We'll see." he bit off, chuckling without mirth. He felt spiteful, he felt angry that she would so easily go back to that oaf, one who just ...didn't see her or treat her as well as he knew she deserved.
Jim had seen her blossoming, coming into her own, and he loved it. Roy made her regress back into someone he didn't want to see again, for his peace of mind, and for her well being. He loved that she was gaining a new confidence, but just when things seemed to be somewhat back on track, Roy reappears. He had felt a surge of anguish and jealously when he saw them leaving hand in hand at Phyllis' wedding. But he pushed it down, why should he care. He didn't. I don't care. Except, of course, he did.
"I'm sure you guys will find your way back to one another someday." He turned to leave the break room, to try and leave thoughts of her and him behind, and concentrate on the new life he was carving out for himself. One that would lead him to New York someday perhaps, far away from jelly beans, and cardigans, and pranks on Dwight.
"Jim." One word stopped him. "I-I'm really sorry..." he inwardly cringed, he didn't want to hear what she was sorry about. He didn't want to care. For Roy attacking him? For not warning him? He didn't want it to matter. So he brushed it off as best he could, walked out of the room, and got back to work.
That was his salvation lately, work. Jim was able to slip into his salesman persona so easily that he found the more problems in his life, the more successful he became. It was an escape, he didn't have to think about Pam, or Roy, or even Karen. All he had to think of was tonnage prices, manila folders, receipts. Long gone was the guy who only a couple years ago said if he advanced any higher he'd have to throw himself in front of a train, because why would he want to work for Dunder Mifflin forever?
For obvious reasons, today was especially bad, so of course he got even more done. He stayed late , finishing up some purchase orders. He had made plans with Karen to meet for dinner at 8, and by the time he left it was just after six. He locked up his desk, and made his way out to the parking lot. Pam was waiting for him.
Story Notes:
Ok, this is my first ever Office fanfic, I haven't written since the days of Buffy, so be kind :)
Author's Chapter Notes:
So this starts from the conversation in the break room, but then diverges from there.
Chapter End Notes:
How'd I do so far? I'll get another chapter up tonight I think, and I swear this WILL end with fluff...somehow. :)
