Michael dropped the large cardboard box on the conference table next to Pam with a thud.  It was approaching noon and they were alone in the room.  She had a fresh legal pad, ready to take notes, and he was determined to get the chore over with as painlessly as possible. But before they could get started, there were two sharp knocks on the open door and Jan swept into the room unexpected and unannounced.  Michael immediately gave her a kiss on the cheek and a smile.

“Hi Michael,” Jan said, handing him a bagged lunch. “I need to talk to you. Am I interrupting anything important?”

“Nothing that can’t wait.”  He looked into the bag.  It appeared to be a turkey sandwich with a cereal bar on the side; she knew him well. “What can I do for my Jannifer Leviston?”

“I asked you to stop calling me that,” she said curtly. “Hi Pam.”

Pam exhaled a quiet little hello in return.

“This won’t take long. I’m here about Ryan. Michael, we’ve got to do something about him.”

“Aha!” Michael felt a small wave of pride. She’d be glad to know what he was up to. “Well it’s interesting that you mention my former protégé, because-”

“It’s so many things,” She interrupted him but he didn’t mind. He could feel the frustration churning inside of his girlfriend. Sex with Jan was no longer Sex with JAN! to him but he was still in awe of their relationship at times.

“That stupid beard,” she went on.  “His condescending tone.  His plans to repaint my former office. Hunter texted me about it yesterday. We really have to do something about him.”

Michael tapped the side of the box and Pam, knowing what was coming, looked as if being somewhere else at this time was high on her wish list.

“I already am,” he said, proudly.

Jan looked confused and seemed to notice the box for the first time. “What’s in there?”

“This, my love, is the chickens coming home to the rooster.  These are Ryan’s future birthday gifts. Or they would have been if he’d played his cards right.”

“Birthday gifts? I don’t get this, Michael. Explain.”

He reached into the box and started pulling out items and setting them on the table.

“Entourage Season Two.  A Sharper Image alarm clock. Look at this cool stress toy!”

Jan still looked puzzled and picked up the Entourage box, as if hoping some explanation was printed on it.

“These are all his birthday gifts,” Michael attempted to explain. “I bought them in advance to give Ryan over the coming years. Through 2015. But he’s changed so much now. Success went to his head, and facial hair.” He was surprised at no reaction from Pam or Jan to that line. Tough room. “I’m going to give them away to charity.”

Donating them to charity had been Pam’s idea and she smiled

“If a charity gets the top bid for them on eBay,” he clarified.

Pam was disappointed and it showed.

“Okay! To charity. The Salvation Army if that still exists. And if they haven’t been sent to Iraq.”

“Iraq?” Jan looked more confused by the moment.

“Sand would scratch some of this stuff up.”

“Why….why would you do something like this?” Jan stammered, stepping forward and looking into the box herself.  She sifted through a few of the items still inside. “Buy all of these things for him?”

“You’ve been telling me to plan ahead financially.” He had expected her to be pleased with his foresight.  “Even Oscar has told me that. And besides being Mexicanical, he’s also an accountant.”

“This is just… too much.” His girlfriend focused her penetrating eyes on him. “Even for you. I don’t know where to begin.”

For a moment, she seemed as if she might yell at him but instead just thrust the Entourage box into his hand, turned on her heels and walked out the door, saying, “We’ll talk at home later.”

Michael pulled out a chair and sat down, already tired and it was early in the day. He and Pam spent a half a minute absorbing it all in silence, neither knowing what to say.

“So does this mean,” Pam finally, hesitantly asked him. “That we should put off cataloging and giving away the box full of Ryan’s future Christmas gifts until you sort this out with Jan?”

“Yep. And find out where the Salvation Army is stationed. Thanks, Pam.”