April 1, 2006
To Jim Halpert, the future was often a scary thought. He really didn’t like change a whole lot. He picked a major in college and went with it. It had been tough for him to even get up the courage to go to Penn State. He had considered just staying in Scranton or going to college closer to home. In the end, his parents had persuaded him that even though they would miss having him around, PSU was absolutely the best option for him. He hadn’t regretted his decision at all. But it didn’t stop him from being scared of change. When he finished school, where did he end up? Did he permanently move on from his hometown, going on to the bright lights of a big city like so many of his fellow graduates? Nope, he ended up exactly where he had been four years earlier: West Scranton High School.
But it seemed that now fate might just give him the chance to move on from Scranton. And now that he had that chance, he was torn about what to do. Scranton was his home. It always had been. It was a part of who he was. His family was here. His friends were here. And Pam was here. He really tried to ignore that part of the equation, but he couldn’t. He knew it was maybe a little pathetic to factor into his big decision the woman he loved considering she didn’t really love him back. But he couldn’t help it. She already influenced his life in other ways. He couldn’t bring himself to date anybody else because he was in love with her. He knew he needed to move on, and his friends and his sister had tried to set him up with people, but he just couldn’t do it. He had used the excuse of basketball season for a while, but now, well, now he didn’t have an excuse. But he still felt like he would be cheating or something. Which made him feel even more lame. So as much as he tried to factor Pam out of his important decision, he couldn’t do it.
Jim had been approached about three weeks ago by West Scranton’s school board representative, Jan Levinson, about a possible job opportunity. Apparently, she had gotten a call from the principal at Carroll High School in Philadelphia. The school’s long-time basketball coach was retiring, and someone would need to take over. And the school needed a new English teacher too, because they also had someone retiring from that position. The long and short of it was that Jim’s name had been mentioned in basketball circles, as people remembered him from his playing days and had seen how he had made a splash as an assistant in his first year. When the principal at Carroll did some research and found out that Jim also taught English, he figured he might try to kill two birds with one stone, especially when the “stone” was a young up-and-comer like Jim.
Jim had gone to interview at Carroll a couple of days after that, on a Friday, and found himself actually a little excited by the opportunity. He could teach English, still, AND be the head basketball coach. While at Penn State, he hadn’t even considered coaching, but he absolutely loved it and was thankful that Kevin gave him the chance to do it. The interview with Carroll’s principal obviously was a little different than the one with Michael. Actually, it was a lot different. He had asked Jim why he became a teacher, asked him to describe his teaching methods, and asked him how he liked teaching having gone almost a whole year now. Jim had great answers to all of his questions (he really thought he would like influencing young people and had some teachers of his own that made a difference in his life and he thought it would be cool to do the same; his goal was to get his students interested in the topic, so he used many different methods; and he loved teaching and the main reason for that was his students). The principal then asked about coaching, how Jim would handle being in charge instead of an assistant, what Jim would expect of his players, and what his goals would be as a coach. Jim had good answers to these questions as well (he was ready for a leadership role and had been a leader as a player and had ideas of his own he would like to implement; he would expect his players to give their best effort in the classroom, the community, and on the court; and his expectations were that his players would be good students and citizens and would win on the court). The principal finally asked if Jim was ready to live in a big city and leave home, having lived in Scranton his whole life and then gone back. Jim said he was and that Philadelphia really just offered so many more opportunities, especially in basketball as it was the “big time.” The principal told Jim it was very nice to meet him and that he would hear from the school soon.
Almost two weeks later, Jim was offered the job. He told the principal he would like some time to think it over and make sure it was the right decision for him before he took the opportunity. The principal agreed and told Jim they would appreciate a prompt response, as they would like to fill the openings quickly. So for 10 days now, Jim had thought of nothing but this job in Philadelphia. Well, almost nothing.
Today was April 1. The national holiday of pranksters. Dwight had been trying for about 2 weeks to convince Michael to install metal detectors to protect against “juvenile practical jokes” with April 1st in the near future. Michael was unreceptive. Today being April Fools’ Day, Dwight was extremely suspicious of Jim, and pretty much just stared at him whenever he was near. And Dwight had sort of stationed himself near Jim’s classroom for much of the day. Dwight probably thought Jim couldn’t see him staring at him as he taught. That sort of made teaching a little difficult and was sort of creepy. Really creepy. Good thing he had the class working on their group projects today.
What Dwight didn’t know was that his actions played right into Jim’s hands. Jim had enlisted an accomplice for this day, knowing that Dwight would be especially attentive to his actions.
“Hey, Pam,” Jim said, leaning on her counter.
“Hey, Jim,” Pam smiled up at him. Jim had sort of decided to ignore Pam a little bit more since the girls in one of his classes mentioned the two of them, but that had been something of an exercise in futility.
“So,” Jim said, “Monday is April 1st.”
“Yeah, I can’t believe how quickly this year is going by.”
“Me neither. But you know what else that date means?”
“April 1st? Hmm…oh! It’s April Fool’s Day.”
Jim grinned at her. “Yeah, it is.”
“Well, I know to someone like you that fact doesn’t have any particular significance. Since every day is sort of like April 1st to you.”
“Touche. But obviously, something has to be done. And I think Dwight may be especially likely to keep an eye on me. Especially since Michael is going to be gone that day.”
“Right.” Michael had called in sick and had already said he thought there was ‘no chance’ he would be back on Monday. Pam had told Jim earlier that morning that she knew he was actually not sick, but had gone off to Magic Camp.
“So I think I’m going to need some help with what I have in mind. Know anyone up to the task?”
“Hmm…no one comes to mind. Good help is hard to find, you know.”
“That it is. There aren’t any secretaries that could help me out?”
“Maybe.”
“Good. Okay, here’s what I have planned…”
Jim smiled. There were only about 15 minutes left in the day, so his plan would soon be set into action.
“Have you ever seen the movie Scream?”
“Yes…”
“Okay. Remember how the guy on the phone has that really creepy voice?”
“Yes…”
“Okay. So with Michael gone, Dwight will be the one doing the afternoon announcements. I figured perhaps Dwight could have a…similar voice when he makes the announcements.”
Pam started giggling. “Oh, my gosh, Jim, that would be hilarious. How are you going to do that?”
“Actually, Beesly, you are going to be the one to do it.” Jim reached into his messenger bag and pulled out a voice modifier. “All you need to do is put this into the intercom system shortly before he makes the announcements. I’ll come in early on Monday and show you how.”
“Are you sure you know how to do that?”
“Yeah, it’s easy. One of my friends works at an electronics store and he showed me how to do it. It’s pretty simple.”
“Okay then. See you Monday, bright and early.”
“Yup. Have a good weekend, Pam.”
“You, too.”
Jim looked up at the clock: 8 minutes to go. He looked out into the hallway and saw Dwight still staring at him. Jim waved and yelled out, “Hi, Dwight!” The class looked up at Jim, and then looked into the hallway to see Dwight. Dwight’s face went white with being caught. He obviously thought that Jim didn’t notice him. Dwight contorted his face in anger and turned away, walking toward the main office. Good, Jim thought, time to get ready for the announcements.
Ding! An IM popped up on his computer screen.
Artista17: Mission accomplished. Microphone has been modified to your specifications. :)
Balla11: Excellent. Now we play the waiting game.
Artista17: Oh! Here comes Dwight! TTYL.
Balla11: 10-4.
5 minutes later, Dwight’s voice filled the loudspeaker. Well, it wasn’t exactly Dwight’s voice but the modified voice of the killer from Scream. “Hello my students. This is Dwight K. Schrute, Acting Principal.” Dwight’s voice was then kind of muffled but still audible. “What? Pam, when Michael is gone I am Principal of this school. Know that I am going to write you up for insubordination.” Dwight’s voice then returned to ‘normal.’ “ Sorry for the interruption, students. Some people at this school need to learn their place or they will be very sorry.” Dwight laughed after that last sentence, only it came across the loudspeaker as something of an evil cackle. Which Jim thought probably wasn’t too far from the truth. “There aren’t any announcements of any importance today. Prom is coming up. Talk to someone other than me about that. I have no time for silly affairs like that. I want to thank the students today for not stooping to childish jokes on this day. I have a feeling a certain faculty member wanted to try something, but I kept my eye on him. All day. So he couldn’t accomplish his mission. When I am on my game, nothing can stand in my way!” Another laugh. Jim couldn’t contain his own laughter by this point. And his students were also laughing. “That is all for today. Be safe tonight, children. You never know what is lurking around dark corners.”
In the two minutes before the bell rang, Jim stood up and said, “I would like to go on record as saying that I was not involved in the recent microphone malfunction. Off the record, it turned out better than I thought it would. See you tomorrow.”
For a day that started with Jim thinking about what his future might bring, he certainly was content with his present, and that’s what he thought about for the rest of the day.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I'm going to be busy for a while, I think, so I've posted most of the rest of this story today. Hope you enjoy it.
This chapter kind of sets up the rest of the story, I guess. Not really much Jim-Pam interaction, but important events occur.
Oh, the other dates in the story actually correspond to the days of the week on which they actually occurred. However, here, April 1 is a Monday. April 1 actually fell on a weekend in 2006, but I can’t have that for this story so I took the liberty of changing it. Suspend disbelief starting…now.
This chapter kind of sets up the rest of the story, I guess. Not really much Jim-Pam interaction, but important events occur.
Oh, the other dates in the story actually correspond to the days of the week on which they actually occurred. However, here, April 1 is a Monday. April 1 actually fell on a weekend in 2006, but I can’t have that for this story so I took the liberty of changing it. Suspend disbelief starting…now.
