May 27, 2006
Jim sat in the crowd and smiled, recognizing some of his students among those walking in their graduation today. He of course couldn’t help but think back to his own, 5 years ago, and the memory of better times. The last couple of weeks had been tough on him. He hadn’t realized how much a part of his life Pam had become, even though he really only saw her at school, until she was no longer a part of it. Jim was like a fish out of water, just struggling to get through the days. And this was his last day at West Scranton High School. After today, odds were that he would never come back, except possibly for high school reunions. Obviously, part of him was sad with the way things turned out, but the other part of him knew it was absolutely necessary that he leave. He just couldn’t stay and watch Pam and Roy live out their lives in domestic bliss. Not that Jim really thought that they would be anywhere close to anything that he personally would consider ‘bliss,’ but just the idea of Pam being legally tied to someone else forever, bound together in the sight of God, it was just too much.
Jim snapped out of his reverie and looked over the crowd, full of teary eyed parents and family friends, all watching their teenage sons and daughters and friends complete this chapter of their lives. Jim remembered his own graduation, thinking that although this chapter ended, he had another part of his life about to begin, with endless possibility. Back then, he never could have predicted the road his life would take. Especially this last year. He had given teaching a shot, and loved it. He was presented with the chance to coach, something he had never really considered, and he loved that, too. And there was one other new thing in his life that he also loved. Pam. And she is what he loved the most.
He had barely spoken with her over the last 3 weeks. They actually only had one encounter, a chance meeting in the parking lot that lasted all of 2 minutes.
It was the Thursday after Prom. Jim was walking to his car with his head down, absolutely spent from his day, as was now the case every day. When he looked up, he saw her, standing and waiting at Roy’s truck. She was looking right at him. Jim wanted to walk away from her, pretend he never saw her, but he knew it was impossible, that she had seen him see her. He walked to her about as slowly as he could, trying to not only muster up his courage and delay this for as long as possible, but also in the delusional hope that she might somehow disappear before he got to her.
“Hey,” he whispered to her.
“Hey,” she said back.
“How have you been?” he asked cautiously.
“Okay. How about you?”
“Okay, I guess.”
“You getting excited about the end of the year?”
“Yeah, sort of. I’ll be able to finally get rid of Dwight, so…”
“Definitely a bonus,” Pam said with the smallest of smiles.
“Well,” Jim started, knowing that she could see how unsure of himself he was, “I’m gonna get going, I think.”
“Oh. Yeah. Sure. I was just um…waiting to…leave, too. So…”
“Yeah. See ya round, I guess.”
“Sure. Bye, Jim.”
And that had been it. Part of Jim had hoped that Pam would confess her love to him before the year came to an end, but only the youthful part of him that believed in fate and destiny and soulmates actually believed that would happen. Jim wasn’t really sure he bought into stuff like that anymore. Because he just knew that Pam was the woman for him. He knew it like he knew the sun would rise and set. And even though it was difficult, he knew he had to come to terms with the fact that he and Pam were not actually meant to be. No matter how much he wanted them to be.
When Jim came out of his trance, he saw that the line of students going to get their diplomas from Michael was growing shorter. Jim even managed a laugh when Ryan came forward to get his diploma and Michael hugged him and lifted him off the ground. But then Jim remembered how Pam had told Jim about Michael and Ryan’s “relationship” and the smile disappeared from Jim’s face. Jim just wasn’t sure how he would get over Pam. She was his first love. Sure, he had girlfriends in high school, and he had always thought of Jenny Williams as his first love, but now he knew differently. Now, he knew what it was to love and he knew what it was to lose. He sure hoped time would heal his wounds.
Soon enough, the last of the students had received their diplomas. Jim was happy that, besides hugging Ryan, Michael had been on his best behavior and hadn’t done anything to tarnish the day. Michael announced the class of 2006, saying, “May your hats fly as high as your dreams!” and the students cheered threw their hats into the air. Michael beamed with pride and Jim smiled again, happy for Michael to have a proud moment.
For a while, Jim remained seated in the bleachers, watching the students hug each other and their families. It did his soul some good to see such happiness. Soon, however, everyone had left and Jim was alone. Well, almost alone.
Michael came up the bleachers and sat down next to Jim. “Jim, how ya doin’?”
“I’m good. Thanks, Michael. Good job today, by the way. You really were great up there.”
Michael again beamed with pride. “Thanks a lot, Jimbo. That really means a lot to me.”
There was a lull in the conversation for a while, as Jim really didn’t have anything to say right now. Not to Michael, not to anyone.
“You know,” Michael began, “I know you’ve only been here for a year, but we’re going to miss you around here. I wish there was something I could do to get you to stay.”
Jim smiled. Michael was sometimes so inappropriate, but sometimes could also be so innocent. He really was a great guy at heart, just misguided sometimes. “I know, Michael. And I appreciate the sentiment. I just really can’t turn down an opportunity like this, ya know? I mean, you obviously have moved on from different jobs, and…it’s just the best thing for me to do right now.”
“I guess you’re right,” Michael said. “But we will miss you. You just bring a certain…energy to everything. The students love you, and you did a great job with the basketball team this year. And who is going to fill in for you in the faculty bball game?”
Jim smiled and said, “I think that I will miss that. That game was fun.”
“Yeah,” Michael said, exhaling and looking into the clouds. “So, have you talked to Pam lately?”
“Pam?” Jim asked in surprise. “Um, no, not really. Why?”
“Just wondering. I know you guys are friends, and I figure she must be having a hard time with the break-up and all, and she really won’t talk to me about it, even though I offered her my shoulder to cry on. Seriously, Jim. I literally offered her my shoulder. And she still refused. So I figured she was talking to you and probably crying on your shoulder instead. Because why else would she turn down my offer, right?”
For a second, Jim had to remind himself to breathe. “When did…when did she and Roy…” Jim was having trouble speaking, too.
“The break-up? It was about a couple of weeks ago, I guess. She came in looking all depressed… actually she came in looking depressed for a week or so before that, too. But anyway, I asked her if she was having trouble on the home front, and then I noticed she wasn’t wearing her ring. I put 1 and 2 together, and there it was,” Michael paused for a moment. “You know, I miss the old Pam. She’s just so…down. She’s really not herself at all. She’s taking this really hard,” Michael smiled. “That’s what she said.”
“Wow,” Jim said, still not sure what to say. “I hope she’ll be all right.”
“Oh, I’m sure she’ll be fine. Women are fickle, ya know, Jim?”
“Yeah. Well, Michael, I’m gonna get going, I think. I’ve got a lot to do before the move next week. It was good talking to you. Keep in touch, okay?”
“Will do, Jim. I’m going to keep you on my email list and if I’m in Philly, I’ll be sure to hit you up.”
“Okay, Michael. Thanks for everything.” Jim stood up, and so did Michael. Jim offered his hand for a handshake, but Michael instead pulled him into a tight embrace. When Jim pulled back, Michael was tearing up.
“We’ll miss you, Jim.”
Jim began the trek to the parking lot to retrieve his car and began packing for his move. The year was officially over. It had been an interesting year, full of more surprises than he could count. But none of them were as big as the one waiting for him at his car.
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali