September 2, 2005
Jim smiled and waited one minute. Then he left the break room and began to walk towards Dwight’s office. He did not want to miss this. Sure, he had promised himself before he began this job that he would grow up and would resist the temptation to mess with Dwight. But he couldn’t help himself. Who throws around titles like that? I mean, sure, Dwight had a good job now as Assistant (to the) Principal, but c’mon. Plus, Michael specifically hired him to lighten this place up a bit, so he was just doing his job, right? Right, he told himself as he walked into the office and saw Pam again. Still breathtaking. I need to ask her to lunch, Jim thought.
“What’s up?” she asked him as he walked in.
“Nothing much, just um…did Dwight come in here?”
“Um, yes, he ran in here just a second ago. Why?”
“No big reason. Just wondering,” Jim said with a small smile.
“What’s going on?”
“Okay, I’ll tell you, but you can’t rat me out.”
“Rat you out? What is this, a mob movie?”
“I’m seriously, Beesly, I can’t lose this job on my first day.”
“Okay. What’s going on?”
“I told Dwight…I told him the department of health is investigating the cafeteria, and suggested that maybe he should investigate. I told him he shouldn’t go in there without some sort of protection, and he just so happens to have a biohazard protection suit in his office.”
“You’re kidding.”
“Um, no, I’m not.”
“That is awesome. So is he…?”
“Oh, yeah, he should be changing right now. I just came down to give him some last minute warnings. And to take pictures of him with my phone. Which I will plaster all over the school.”
Pam laughed at him. Man, she’s so beautiful when she laughs; her whole face lights up. I gotta get her to do that more often.
Just then, Dwight came out of his office in his suit, complete with a mask and some sort of heavy duty rubber gloves.
“Dwight?” said Pam.
“Yes, Pam?” answered Dwight.
“I just read the reports from the Department of Health. It does not look pretty. Please, please be careful.” Jim looked at her and grinned broadly. He had just found an accomplice.
“Pam, as a volunteer sheriff’s deputy, I have been in these circumstances before. I know exactly what to do.”
“They send the police to handle stuff like this?” Jim asked. “Volunteer police?”
“Jim, my job requires me to subject myself to all types of danger. In my line of work, this is nothing new.”
“In your line of work as Assistant to the Principal?”
“No, Jim. My weekend job as a volunteer sheriff’s deputy.”
“Ah. Well, be careful, Dwight, like Pam said. I wouldn’t personally go in there, but I’m sure you can handle it.”
“Of course I can. We Schrutes have been warriors for generations, and with my genes this suit may not even be necessary. I am impervious to many types of germs and bacteria that would normally kill a man.”
“Then why do you even have the suit?”
“Safety, Jim. Who knows what the enemies of America have cooked up to fight us.”
“And then unleashed on a high school cafeteria. In Scranton.”
“Right.”
“Right. Well, good luck, Dwight. Oh, one more thing, can I…get a picture? I mean, if you end up being a hero, the papers will want a photo, and…well, this shot could be valuable.”
“Of course, Jim. But I will need 80% of the proceeds.”
“Obviously. Okay. On three…one, two, three.” Jim snapped the photo, and looked at it on his phone.
“Yep, this came out great. Good luck.”
“To infinity and beyond!” Dwight yelled out as he ran towards the cafeteria.
“Oh my god!” Pam laughed as she watched Dwight run off.
“Toy Story was a popular movie, Pam. Buzz Lightyear was a hero to all,” Jim said seriously as he leaned his body against the counter.
“What does he think he is going to accomplish in there?” Pam asked.
“I don’t know exactly. I’m just concerned that he may give someone a heart attack in his Darth Vader outfit. Considering no one else knows about the dangerous biohazards in the school. The ones that don’t actually exist.”
“Right.” She was still grinning up at him from behind her counter. Jim felt like he could look at her forever. And if he wanted to do that…
“So,” Jim began, “since the cafeteria is obviously going to be shut down for a little while, do you want to go out to lunch today?”
“Oh…um…”
“C’mon, Beesly. Tell you what- it’s on me. So long as you stick to the dollar menu.”
“Well…um…okay. If you put it that way, how can a girl refuse?”
“Good. I’ll, um, be back here at like, noon?”
“Sure.”
“Okay. See you then.” Jim shot her one last grin as he walked out the door. As he walked down the hallway, he heard screams coming from the cafeteria.
Maybe this job wasn’t going to be so bad.
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© 2006-2023 More Than That | Skin created by Kali