September 2, 2005
It was 11:30. Jim had created a rough outline of his lesson plans, listing the material he hoped to cover, and he created his syllabus. He was bored out of his mind. He wanted to be a teacher so that he could, you know, actually teach. Lesson plans and syllabi did not interest him in the least. He would have preferred to just plan something to do each day before class, but he figured Angela probably wouldn’t appreciate that. He actually wondered if Angela would appreciate anything.
He spent the next ten minutes playing solitaire on his cell phone under his desk, figuring if Angela came in he could tell her he was thinking of ways to enhance the learning experience for his students. That sounded good. At 11:40, Jim was tired of sitting. He figured if he walked slowly he could reach the secretary’s desk just before noon. Plus, he wanted to see Dwight again.
So he got up and made his way down the hall and towards the principal’s office again. It took three minutes. Oh, well. “Hey, Pam,” Jim said quietly as he entered, with a shy grin. All of a sudden, he had gotten a little nervous.
“Hey,” she answered back.
“So,” he started, leaning down on the counter, “did Dwight come back?”
“Yes,” she said slowly, with her face still turned to her computer.
“What did he say?”
“Well, apparently, Dwight believes the cafeteria crew is in complete denial about the investigation. And Dwight uncovered some things he believes the health department to have missed, so…yeah.”
“And?”
“Dwight has used his powers as Assistant Principal to indefinitely shut down the cafeteria.”
“But he’s only Assistant to the Principal.”
“That’s what I said, but he told me when Michael is gone that his powers are ‘supreme and plenary.’”
“Obviously.”
“Dwight is now in the cafeteria in his suit with a pressure washer cleaning the kitchens.”
Jim’s eyebrows rose to the top of his forehead with this information. “Wow,” was all he could say.
“Yeah.”
“Can we go see?”
“I tried, but he has covered the outside of the doors in police tape, and there’s no way to break through such an imposing barrier.”
“Because the tape clearly states that we cannot cross.”
“Exactly.”
“Well, I like to live dangerously. C’mon.”
“Okay, but only if you promise to lead the way,” Pam smiled at him.
“Sure. I’ll lead, but you have to watch my back,” Jim said.
“Deal.”
As the two of them reached the door to the cafeteria, Jim turned to Pam and asked, “Now, Pam, I have to warn you that what we are about to do could lead to jail time. Do you know the penalty for interfering with a volunteer sheriff’s deputy investigation?”
“Actually, no.”
“Shoot. I was hoping you did. Well, it can’t be more than five to ten and I’m only on strike one, and you get three, so…”
“Nothing to worry about.”
“Right. So how do you want to play this?”
“I don’t know. What do you want to do?” Pam asked with a little hesitation.
“Here’s what I’m thinking. We go in and just start acting like we are going to cook something and nothing is wrong. Dwight will start to tell us about contamination, and we just play dumb.”
“Okay.”
“Okay. Follow my lead.”
Jim and Pam entered the cafeteria and walked back into the kitchen. Jim walked into the freezer after turning on an oven to look for food.
“What are you doing here?” Dwight yelled. “This is a contaminated area! Didn’t you see the police tape I put on the door?!!”
“What are you talking about, Dwight?” Jim asked, as he emerged from the freezer.
“The health investigation- this area could contain serious bacteria and deadly viruses.”
“Dwight, are you feeling okay?” Jim asked.
“Yeah, and what’s with the costume?” Pam asked.
“I just…I just told you. This is a dangerous area. Jim, this morning you told me about the hazards of this area, and I am just fulfilling my duties as part of this town’s law enforcement.”
“Um, Dwight, I don’t know what you’re talking about. This area certainly isn’t dangerous, and there is no health investigation going on. How would I know if there was? It’s my first day here.”
“Pam, talk some sense into Jim,” Dwight said.
“Dwight, I think you might be having some kind of delusion. There is nothing wrong with the cafeteria. Jim and I were just coming in for a snack. And there’s no police tape outside the door.”
“Although…” Jim began, “this place was probably in need of a good scrubbing before the school year started. Good job, Dwight. I’m sure the janitors will be most appreciative.”
“Jim,” Dwight said menacingly through clenched teeth, “I am not a janitor. I am an Assistant Principal…”
“Assistant to the Principal,” Pam interrupted.
“…Currently acting in my line of duty as a sheriff’s deputy.”
“Volunteer deputy,” Jim corrected.
“Same thing,” Dwight answered.
“Okay. C’mon, Pam, let’s go. Dwight, I’ll be sure to visit the janitor and tell him this room is taken care of. Good work.” With that, Jim and Pam walked off to Dwight’s yelling at them about insubordination and having a talk later with Michael.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I came up with the completion of this prank as I wrote it. I figure that nothing makes Dwight madder than someone questioning his authority and bringing him down a peg or two. If only I could figure out which characters would be the ones to do that…
Chapter End Notes:
Next up: The first date
