At the office, she never regretted or denied what she said. She meant it. And was glad she meant it. But that night she learned that Jim was applying for the job Ryan was up for. She needed a last ditch effort to tell Jim what she really thought. What her heart really said. She flipped through her notebook to the page that contained the words she wrote of him. And on a crisp new page, she began writing.
On his break, Jim went into the break room, and watched as his change went into the soda machine. And as a force of habit, his hand pressed the buttoned labelled Grape Soda. He smiled as his fingers quickly snapped the can open. One last time, for good luck, he thought.
At 1pm, Pam finished writing the letter, and in just a few hours Jim would be leaving, maybe for good. She couldn’t just go up to him and hand him a letter. Her courage from the other night was long gone, and couldn’t dream of gaining it anytime soon. She saw the back of his chair, the messenger bag hanging from it. Her eyes darted around the room and he was no where in sight. She decided to shoot caution into the wind, and got up from her desk. Just as she stood up, Jim came out of the Annex, and she made her way to Ryan’s desk.
“I can’t do it.” She said.
“Come on.” He said with a hint of disappointment. “You have to. You may not have the chance again.”
“You have to help me.”
“How?”
“Get him and Karen away from here. To the break room, or the kitchen, or something. Just nowhere they can see me.”
“Why Karen too?”
“And risk her taking it out before he can see it?” She pointed out. Then came Pam’s mini breakdown. She took a deep breath. “Never mind.” She turned quickly on her heels, and retreated back to her desk.
Her temporary loss of courage distracted Pam from the rest of the day. She went about her business, Jim went about his, and they never crossed paths. Pam finally got away from Michael long enough to make herself some tea, and sitting in the kitchen was Jim. As her eyes dropped to her hands, she thought to herself how the conversation should go.
“Hey,” he finally said.
“Hi.” She said tenderly. She hoped that her voice would remain strong, but obviously, her heart had another plan.
“Are you okay?” Jim asked with a caring smile. He really had to stop doing that. She couldn’t imagine Karen ever appreciating that smile as much as she did.
“Why wouldn’t I be?” She said, looking at him. “I get to take a break from Michael for the next ten minutes, so it’s looking good.”
“Right,” he said, lowering his head. “But seriously, you’re okay right? With things?” Pam gave him a confused look. “Since the beach?”
“Oh, yeah, right.” Dumbass, she thought. Like he would give a rats ass about anything else. “Um.. yeah, I’m alright. I mean… things happen for a reason, right?” she said.
“What do you mean?” he asked.
“Well,” OK, mouth, don’t fail me now. She thought. “I guess theres always a reaction to an action. Like, when you left, I left Roy. Both goods, so, oh and, with my Beach tirade came people thinking Im turning into Kelly.”
“That will never happen.” Jim said.
“What do you mean?” She asked.
“Oh my God, Beesly, I can’t believe I have to spell this out for you. Number one, you have a brain, number two, you use an inside voice, and number three,”
“Okay, I get it. But you know, I think I now know how to get what I want. I can’t let people walk all over me. I let it happen before, but I have to stand up for myself now.”
Jim just nodded. “Fancy New Beesly.”
“Well, what about you, Fancy New Halpert?” Whoops.
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“Well, you’ve ‘evolved’; you have a fancy new girlfriend, a fancy new haircut, and a fancy new life. What made you aspire to evolve?”
“With everything except the haircut, I’m just growing up Pam. Some would think that I needed to.”
“I didn’t.” She said under her breath.
“What?”
“Nothing. Its great, Jim. Really. Good luck in New York.”
She left swiftly and her teal teapot in tow. As she got to her desk her hand slipped into her desk drawer and touched the letter. No point now, she thought. She took the letter and threw it into the garbage. There was no point now. All that she needed to say would more than likely fall on deaf ears. He would never believe that she simply loved him for him.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Same old, dont own, (unfortunately) never will own. Spoilers for The Job. Chapter title is Reba McEntire's Fancy, because I just heard the song on the radio.
Chapter End Notes:
One or two left in this story, but the sequel is to come. Since tonight's episode, I really had an urge to just write and write some more!
Reviews are welcome!!
Reviews are welcome!!
