ACT ONE

INT. The Office, Reception

PAM is sitting at Reception alone. The act begins with the phone ringing.

PAM

(picks up and speaks into phone)

Dunder-Mifflin, this is Pam.

PAM TALKING HEAD [Conference Room]

(voice over during flashback of Jim pulling out ring box/Andy’s proposal in “Goodbye, Toby”)

Um, yeah no I am not engaged. After the fireworks, and the whole Andy proposal, Jim told me how he was going to but that he didn’t want it to be the same night…[beat]

(CUT BACK to Office, END FLASHBACK)

(PAM stares at the camera for a quick moment, then looks down a little self-consciously at the floor)

or I guess the same week, right? [beat]

(looks back up at camera with a smile)

But it’s totally fine, I understand and, uh, its not like either of us is in a hurry or anything.

JIM TALKING HEAD [Conference Room]

(to person off-camera)

What did she say?

(there is a pause as JIM is answered inaudibly)

Right, but how did she say it?

(another pause, after which he leans back slightly in his chair, and looks at the camera tiredly)

Its [beat] she deserves something really special. I mean, Roy proposed to her during the halftime of a Super Bowl.

(sighs)

So…..

CUT TO:

INT. The Office, JIM and DWIGHT’s Desks

Both JIM and DWIGHT are working peaceably, and quietly. The calm is interrupted when MICHAEL comes out of his office, and stands to the right of JIM.

MICHAEL

(announcing loudly)

Everyone, I have urgently important news. It is [beat] very important and revolutionish. And it affects all of you.

The camera swings to show the entire office is paying attention to MICHAEL, and that KELLY and HOLLY have opened the door from the Annex and are walking into the Main Office.

MICHAEL (cont.)

So everyone in the Conference Room in like 40, okay? I’ve got to go to the bathroom and make a Wendy’s run.

The camera swings again to show everyone is now frustrated. It then swings back to a satisfied MICHAEL.

MICHAEL (cont.)

(he points an index finger from each hand in the air at the office)

Good.

(to DWIGHT)

Put the thing up, but make sure to keep it covered.

Instantly, DWIGHT springs into action. He gets up from his desk, and races around JIM’s desk, past PAM at Reception, to the bewilderment of both, and out the door.

CUT TO:

INT. The Office, Break Room

The room is empty except for ANDY, who is sitting at a table that is covered in magazines with brightly colored bookmarks, paper clippings, and notebooks. He is deeply engrossed in looking through one of the magazines when PHYLLIS walks in the room and heads towards the vending machine.

PHYLLIS

Hey Andy, what are you doing?

ANDY

Planning the big day.

PHYLLIS

(surprised)

Oh. You and Angela are still getting married?

ANDY

Still?

PHYLLIS

(quickly and slightly unconvincingly)

I mean, um [beat] I would have thought you’d just get eloped.

(turns away from ANDY towards the vending machine)

ANDY

(doesn’t pick up on Phyllis’ tone)

No, Angela and I are going to have a big wedding. Huge. I’m thinking Nantucket, Here Comes Treble singing the Wedding March, the whole office there, and my old fraternity friends from Cornell [beat] The University.

PHYLLIS

Wow.

ANDY

(happily)

I haven’t decided on the honeymoon yet. Angela doesn’t like the heat [beat] or the cold.

PHYLLIS

(while picking up a bag of chips from the vending machine, and looking at the camera)

Well maybe she can decide.

ANDY

I don’t know. She really isn’t into planning things.

The camera pans quickly to show PHYLLIS’ reaction to ANDY’s statement.

ANDY (cont.)

I asked her if she wanted Sunflowers or Tulips or Lily of the Valley or Birds of Paradise, but she said she didn’t care and that I could plan everything. But luckily…

(picks up beat-up looking notebook from table)

I’ve been scribbling some ideas down for a couple ten years or so.

PHYLLIS
At my wedding we had beautiful flowers…

(smiles in remembrance)

but I’m sure you remember.

ANDY

No, I was in anger management. I punched a wall.

PHYLLIS

(worriedly)

Oh, right [beat] because you lost your cell phone….

CUT TO:

INT. The Office, Conference Room

Everyone is assembled in the Conference Room, where the table has been removed and rows of chairs have been put in their place. At the front of the room is an easel holding up something that is covered in a purple cloak. MICHAEL stands next to the mysterious object with a wide smile on his face.

MICHAEL

Alright, alright. So! It is now time to tell all of you the big news. I, your leader, talked to David Wallace about this branch.

At his words everyone simultaneously turns to look at PAM questioningly.

PAM

No, he did.

Everyone seems satisfied, and turn their attention back to MICHAEL, except STANLEY who remains oblivious with a crossword puzzle.

MICHAEL

(to PAM)

Thank you, Pam.

(to everyone)

I thought when Toby left that morale would reach a new high because he wouldn’t be here. He’d be gone [beat] and not here. What I didn’t think about was how Ryan’s arrest would affect us all.

KELLY

(interrupting)

He got what he deserved. I’m happy he’s going to jail.

MICHAEL

(points at KELLY)

See? Clearly she is still in shock. And you cannot work while in shock. I know you’ve all tried to be strong, and not cry at your desk [beat] or at night when you think about Ryan. But we all have….

Camera swings to show everyone unaffected by MICHAEL’s words, with KELLY nodding ‘no’ emphatically.

MICHAEL (cont.)

…and that is why with David Wallace’s permission, I have created the best thing ever.

(points to mystery object)

Are there any questions before I continue?

JIM raises his hand.

MICHAEL (cont.)

Jim.

JIM

Yeah [beat] where did you get a purple cloak?

MICHAEL

(matter-of-factly)

Magic shop. Any others?

KEVIN raises his hand.

KEVIN

Did you bring back frosties?

MICHAEL

No, Kevin I did not.

KEVIN

(aside to HOLLY who is sitting next to him)

I like to put my M&M on them.

MICHAEL

(to everyone)

Anything else? Alright! Strap yourselves on, here we go!

MICHAEL, in a flourish, pulls off the cloak to reveal a bright orange piece of poster-board. It is a chart, with everyone’s names (excluding MICHAEL) in the far left-hand column. For each name there is a row running the length of the poster-board, with fifteen additional columns intersecting them. At the top of the board in large block-letters written in glitter-pen it reads “Michael’s Golden Stars.” The dividing lines of each column and row are likewise created with the glitter-pen.

MICHAEL (cont.)

Ta-da!

MICHAEL’s reveal is met with confusion and silence, except by DWIGHT, who attempts to begin a slow-clap over the course of four to five seconds, which nobody else follows.

MICHAEL (cont.)

(frustrated)

Alright, obviously it’s too sophisticated. See

(points to chart)

everyone’s name is on the chart, and there are fifteen slots for fifteen stars. The first person to get fifteen gold stars wins.

OSCAR

Wins what?

ANDY

How does one go about collecting stars?

MICHAEL

(enthused at the questions)

A-ha. Yes, well the gold stars will be handed out at my discretion for, you know, good deeds and helping to improve morale in the office. And…

(looks excitedly at camera)

there are prizes! Third place…

(MICHAEL beats his fingers against the easel trying to make a drumroll)

is a hug from someone of your choosing in the office! [beat]

(looks around the room at everyone seated)

Um, so probably either me or Pam, depending on your sexual orientation.

PAM

(interrupting)

Michael.

MICHAEL

Okay. Okay. If you choose Pam, it has to be clean, no rubbing up against her. No copping feels. Unless you’re Jim, because I guess they’re still going out. Or something.

The camera focuses on JIM and PAM. Instead of amused, they both look slightly annoyed at MICHAEL’s words.

MICHAEL(cont.)

Second place prize is [beat] a pizza from Alfredo’s….

At the mention of Alfredos, everyone excluding HOLLY, leans in slightly in anticipation of which pizzeria MICHAEL chose.

MICHAEL (cont.)

Pizza Café.

Everyone murmurs their approval at MICHAEL’s choice, while he looks on smugly.

MICHAEL (cont.)

(happily)

I remembered. I remembered. Alright, and lastly, but firstly, the grand prize for the first person to collect fifteen gold stars is [beat] a week paid vacation!

The camera pans over to see that everyone is slightly stunned at the first place prize.

JIM

(skeptically)

David Wallace really approved this?

MICHAEL

Holly?

HOLLY

(to everyone)

Yes. He called me personally this morning.

(to MICHAEL)

Michael did a good job negotiating it.

MICHAEL

Thank you Holly.

ANGELA

(interrupting)

Is she eligible then?

MICHAEL

Yeah, of course. Holly’s cool.

The camera goes from MICHAEL to HOLLY and shows her smiling a little too widely at his words, before she realizes she’s being watched. She then stops smiling and looks away.

HOLLY TALKING HEAD [Conference Room]

I think the gold star idea is really smart. I mean, I’ve only been here a week or so and I don’t really know how things usually go [beat] but everyone seems really sad.

ANDY TALKING HEAD [Conference Room]

The gold stars are right up Bernard Boulevard. Last time I did this, I won first place, [beat] by seven stars!

(smiles and continues confidently)

Got five extra minutes of recess.

ANGELA TALKING HEAD [Conference Room]

I don’t like Holly.

CUT TO:

INT. The Office, JIM and DWIGHT’s Desks

The orange Gold Star Poster is now hanging on the wall between MICHAEL’s Office and the Conference Room door. Meanwhile, DWIGHT is typing furiously at his computer, while JIM looks on curiously. After a second or two, the silence between the two is broken.

JIM

What are you doing?

DWIGHT

(still looking at his computer and typing)

Planning.

JIM

(nods his head in mock-understanding)

Yes [beat] me too.

DWIGHT

(looks to JIM)

It won’t matter.

JIM

Won’t it?

DWIGHT

No.

JIM

Right.

JIM looks at the camera curiously, and then gets up from his desk and walks to Reception. The camera swings over to see him leaning against the desk inaudibly talking to PAM, but it remains in its position and swings back to DWIGHT who continues to type. After seven seconds or so, JIM reappears in frame, and sits back down at his desk. Immediately DWIGHT’s phone rings.

DWIGHT

(picks up phone)

Dwight Schrute.

PAM

Hey Dwight.

Camera, once again, swings to show PAM on the phone, then back to DWIGHT.

PAM (cont.)

Laurie and Associates called, they said they needed to talk to you about an order they placed on the website a couple months ago that got messed up.

DWIGHT

(annoyed, and continues to type while he talks on the phone)

I can’t now. I’m busy.

PAM

(voice can be heard from Reception throughout the duration of the conversation, nevertheless they both remain on the phone)

With what?

DWIGHT

I’m creating a fourteen-point plan to win Michael’s gold star contest, and a week’s paid vacation.

PAM

(surprised)

You’d take a week off from work?

DWIGHT

Yes. I have, for a long time, wanted to go to Vermont [beat] its very romantic.

PAM

Okay.

(hangs up phone)

DWIGHT hangs up his phone simultaneously, JIM looks over at PAM (off-camera) and nods.

JIM

That’s what you’re planning for?

DWIGHT

(again, continues to look at his computer screen when he talks)

Yes. So are you.

JIM

(casually)

No, I’ve got an understanding with Michael on the gold stars.

DWIGHT

(stops typing, looks at JIM)

What understanding?

JIM

Oh, well [beat]

(stops and perks up slightly at imaginary noise)

Gotta go, Michael’s calling me.

JIM gets up from his desk, and turns to go to MICHAEL’s office as an astonished and confused DWIGHT looks on.

A continuing shot from the previous scene, JIM walks into the office, while MICHAEL looks up from his desk at him

MICHAEL

Wow. Perfect timing, I was just going to come looking for you.

JIM

(confused)

I’ve been sitting at my desk for the last hour.

MICHAEL

Yeah. Right, well sit down.

JIM

Um, actually I just came in here-

MICHAEL

(interrupting)

I know why you came here, because you’re my friend, and you knew I needed you.

JIM

(to camera)

Yes [beat] that is it.

JIM sits down.

MICHAEL

So, I needed to tell someone else other than Dwight about this.

JIM

Okay.

MICHAEL

It’s about Jan.

JIM

Oh.

(looks at camera in slight fear)

MICHAEL TALKING HEAD [Michael’s Office]

It’s amazing right? I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, Jim and I have always had a sort of simpatica. But I think the fact that he knew I needed to tell someone that Jan is driving me freaking nuts.

(smiles knowingly at camera)

I think…

(chuckles nervously)

I don’t want to jinx it, but I think I may have found a co-best man with Packer for my wedding [beat] when I get married [beat] after I get a girlfriend.

END OF ACT ONE