They burned her as they rested in the corners of her eyes before plunging down towards the pillow. Her cheeks were warm while the rest of her body felt frozen under her giant feather comforter. Heat would cloud her face as her breath bounced back against the fabric. She tired everything she could to keep the sobs from rocking her entire body while the rest of her worked on swallowing her sounds. She had walked in to this with unrealistic expectations and now she was playing for it.
The front door squeaked as it opened and squealed as it was shut with a loud thud. The locks jingled for a moment until there was nothing more than slow footsteps, one after another pushing past boxes, coming closer. Her heart beat quickened with every step until another made an irritatingly loud noise. She slowly let go of her breath as she continued to muffle her own sounds and lying completely still.
He could see her eyes wide and red as he stood at was normally his side of the bed. His eyes never left her body as he slid down his pants watching how her silence sent convulsions threw her body in spite of how still she looked. When he climbed in to the bed he let his body fall limp throwing a heavy arm across her middle and nudging his face in between her shoulder blades creating small random kisses on her back. Right as his arms tightened pulling her even closer to him she let out a loud gasp but very little air could pass through her lips.
“Why did you tell my brother not to let me come over?” He asked in almost a whisper.
“Only if you drank too much. I didn’t want you getting hurt or anything.” Everything about her current state was feeble. Her voice had never been this weak and all he could was nod his head against her back and squeeze his arms around her to let her know he was still there. He turned her around in his arms easing her face in to the crock of his neck feeling her tears drown him. “I’m sorry,” said a strange voice that seemed like it was coming from another woman. She choked down two more sobs. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your poker party. I wouldn’t have come if I had known that you had people over.”
“Why are you crying?” His warm breath hit her ear as his hand continuous amerced itself in her soft curls.
“I don’t know.” Sniff. “I guess I just didn’t think you’d be busy…which is stupid. I’m being stupid.” She muffled another two sobs. “I don’t know why I didn’t think you’d be busy. It’s like I should expect you to sit at home alone every night randomly waiting for me to show up.”
“I have been waiting for you, for a phone call, anything.” There were so many times he thought about picking up the phone. His fingers would spread across the handle but he could never bring himself to move them. Behind his eyes the numbers dialed over and over again but when they opened no buttons had been pushed. Six unanswered voicemails and four unreturned text messages were already left on her phone. On top of that she had forgotten to call last night so he spent a good three hours sitting on the floor with his back against the bed post trying to decide whether or not he should just drive to New York before finally getting so worked up he had to force himself to go to bed angry.
He called once today. Saying he hoped everything was alright, kept things light by making a joke about being her emergency contact so they have to call him first, but in the end the joke sounded like more of an accusation. To be perfectly honest that was exactly what is was. Her phone hadn’t been off or dead because it never just jumped straight to voicemail like it usually did. “You haven’t called me in two days so I called my brothers.” His brothers came over ready with cards and beer. He didn’t get a chance to hear his phone ring in the next room or the message on his voicemail. “Hey, Jim. Please call me back soon. I…I really need to talk to you. I love you. Bye.” Instead he focused on the smoothness of the cards and the vibrancy of the numbers. He let his mind fill with the laughter of the room rather than loss of her voice.
He pulled away only enough to look in to her eyes and brush a small piece of hair behind her ear. “I wasn’t even sure if you missed me or not,” he said clearly in a monotone voice.
“I miss you.” No more sobs. “It’s hard to tell you that though.”
“How could it possibly to hard to tell your fiancé that you miss them?” There was something distant about him now and it was all her eyes could focus on. “It shouldn’t be hard for you to tell me anything.” Their bodies were no longer touching, no lingering looks of love or attempts to brush against each other.
“You replaced me already, Jim. Two months apart and you don’t really need me anymore.” In the mid-sentence her voice cracked, her face contorted, and she was uncontrollable again.
“What are you talking about?” He didn’t reach out to her. Instead he rolled over on to his back and left his arms at his side letting himself feel her entire body shaking with sobs next to him.
“The new temp.” She wiped away her tears concluding that he wasn’t going to do it for her. In her mind she saw his thoughts over her being immature and unattractive. “The last time we talked she was all you could talk about. How she was funny, the prank you guys pulled on Kevin, how she was so smart for thinking it up. She never lets the candy dish run out either.”
He turned to her now really looking so deep in to her eyes he could see the different flakes of color, not the mention what was behind them. “We talked about more than that.”
“No, Jim. We didn’t.” She spoke firmly. “I asked you how your day was, you talked on and on about her, and then said you had to go to bed because you were going to meet her before work tomorrow.” She rolled on to her side as close to the edge of the bed as she could get.
“Hey…” he whispered ready to bring himself to tears. “I never…” He crawled over to where she was and slipped an arm firmly across her waist, leaning over her slightly he laid small kisses on her shoulder. “I don’t even know what to say to that, Pam. I spend most of my time talking about you to everyone else.” He gently pulled some hair towards him and tucked it behind her ear so he could reach her cheek. He kissed it lightly. “I love you.” He kissed it again then removed all the hair that had been covering her neck entirely. “Is that why you haven’t been returning my messages?” He buried his face in-between her neck and her shoulder waiting to listen but she never spoke. She just slowly nodded her head. “What time do you have to leave?”
“I have to be up by four and out by six,” she mumbled. If he hadn’t had the experience of listening to her talk in her sleep he might not have understood her at all. There was silence for at least three entire minutes. “I’m not going.”
“What? You have to go!”
“No, Jim. I really don’t.” She rolled over to face him again. “I’ve missed one day the entire semester. I can miss one more.” Her hand slid up to brush hair out of his face, the first contact she had initiated the entire night. “Just one day. I promise.”
“Can I skip it too?” She smiled at his childish voice and the way his words curved around the small yet growing grin of his own. She leaned up and kissed him before looking him dead in the eyes. “I don’t want to be replaced.”
“I could…” Her finger was pressing hard on to his lips before he could even consider finishing.
“I don’t want to become irrationally jealous because my fiancé doesn’t think before talking incessantly about another woman. I don’t think he’d appreciate it if I talked about the nude models in my art class for over an hour before hanging up on him.”
“No. He wouldn’t like that. He’d probably be banging down your door in New York and then sitting in on all your classes to make sure knows exactly how taken you are.”
“I don’t want us to end because we’re stupid.” The next kiss didn’t end.
Author's Chapter Notes:
:D The title "Not Titled Yet" is the actual title. It was always meant to be the title and a comment on Jim and Pam's relationship. A really huge thanks to jinxcoke for reviewing and betaing. Pretty much bringing back my need to write. :D
Chapter End Notes:
I hope you like. All constructive reviews are more than welcome. Kind of demanded it. :D Please. I can say that in four different languages if I have to. :D
ISayOye is the author of 6 other stories.
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