Pam wanted to let go.
No – Pam needed to let go. For her sanity, she had to. She did not have a choice, especially if she was constantly around him, everyday. Pam experienced him throughout all working hours – his smell, his smile, his aura of perfection – everything he was she needed to forget.
The fact that she couldn’t have him is why she had to let go. Pam couldn’t continue to live her life the way she had been – sprawled on the closest open floor with a pillow clenched against her face to stop her heartfelt tears. Pam could not deal with the crackle in her chest every time she thought of the ways he wasn’t hers. Pam was sick of feeling so broken and not able to remember how good it felt to smile.
As much as Pam needed to let him go, there was a significant part of her that refused to – a part of her that she came to know as the pain. The stupid strand attached to her heart and mind but pulled more at the strings of her heart. Pam’s mind was determined to feel cheerful – free from the downfalls of the idea of love. Nonetheless, Pam’s heart was set on him – anything she could do have him in her arms, her heart was willing to cope with.
Anything – anything at all for him.
Jim.
Pam stood against the brisk winter winds as her tear-stricken eyes followed Jim. He paced back towards the office’s entrance, angry with Pam’s lack of response. He told her everything – even the fact that he wanted her.
The pure audacity of the situation left Pam speechless.
But speechlessness never ended up working for Pam, she realized.
“Jim!” Pam shrieked, breaking her silent lips.
Jim immediately spun to face her, his eyes wide with hope, but a hidden fear lurked behind them – almost as if he was preparing himself for another let down.
“Wait,” Pam breathed. She slowly walked to him as he walked towards her.
They were suddenly standing right in front of each other, their eyes locked.
“It’s not that I can’t live without you… it’s that I don’t even want to try,” Pam spoke softly, her hands migrating to his hands. Her cold fingers swept against the palm of Jim’s hand as he closed his fingers on hers.
“Neither do I,” Jim whispered, gently squeezing her hand. He slowly leaned forward, his face right above hers.
“So I guess what I’m trying to say is that I need this. I need you – I need everything we could be,” Pam stated, not catching Jim’s attempt to kiss her.
“Everything we are,” Jim finished for her, once again closing in on her lips.
“I’ve waited too long for this – too long for you! I’ve been so stupid and clueless and idiotic and – and-”
“Pam…” Jim murmured, almost laughing from her clear naivety. He brushed a stray lock from her pale forehead and loved how her warm skin felt against his frozen hand.
Jim.
“I never realized how much you meant to me! Well, I did, but I never did anything about it when I really, really should have. I don’t know what I was thinking and I guess I never will but all I’m trying to say is-” Pam exclaimed, cut off by Jim, still breathing heavily.
“I’m in love with you,” Jim finished. He suddenly snaked his hands around her back and pulled her into his tight grasp. His lips grazed hers; his warm breath on Pam’s cheek played tricks on her mind. Pam’s knees weakened and her mind spun crazy circles around the immense and almost undeserving situation she was involved in.
“Jim,” Pam silently exhaled before Jim’s lips enveloped hers.
The movements of Jim’s lips on Pam’s were amazingly alluring. Pam caressed his lips with her own as she wound her fingers threw his tousled brown hair.
Pam couldn’t shake the feeling of this all being a dream. A really good dream.
How could something so amazing – so perfect – actually be happening to her? Were those really Jim’s lips on hers? Was that really Jim’s hair her fingers were twined with? Was this really -
Oh god, how she hoped it was.
Maybe it was real, this time. Not a dreamt-up, unwritten love story that Pam yearned for. Not a false memory she wove into something bigger. This – this was the right story; a perfect blend of romance, comedy, and a touch of pain to make it complete. It was perfect in every way, and Pam treasured it with everything she had in her.
Jim’s lips slowly and unwillingly let go of hers as he opened his eyes to stare into Pam’s. Pam’s mouth creased into something she hadn’t had in a long time – a symbol of happiness and joy – a perfect emblem for this shared moment between her and Jim – a smile.
“Jim,” Pam whispered with all the love in the world. Their arms were locked as Jim buried his face in against her warm neck.
Finally, she felt complete. She was irrevocably and explicitly his.
Jim’s.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Speechlessness never ended up working for Pam.
Chapter End Notes:
The End! I had a great time writing this little series and I totally hope everyone enjoyed reading it!
Dwangie is the author of 25 other stories.
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