Author's Chapter Notes:
Another little transition mini-chapter, I guess, but probably one of my favorites to write! Hope everyone enjoys!
So. This was awkward.
The bar was stuffy and smoky; it smelled like stale cigarettes and cheap perfume and booze. Seriously, cue the Journey tribute. And she could have been having a good time, but really, she was bored and frustrated, and not nearly drunk enough to be enjoying herself.
Karen had chosen a bar in the city, a small little unknown with really good cheese fries and lukewarm beer. Everyone at the bachelorette party was wearing a plastic crown and a feather boa, assorted colors. A stripper dressed like George Clooney in Oceans Eleven had stopped by about an hour ago, and all the girls (minus Pam) had started whooping and whipping out their singles and waving them around like pom-poms, the most prolific being Karen’s cousin Olivia. Pam had sat in the back, stirring her iced tea (‘designated driver’ and all that), and squeezed the little lemon slice until it was utterly completely dry. Woo-hoo.
It occurred to Pam early on that she didn’t know any of these women. They all looked like Karen, slender with pin-straight hair and a businesswoman-like demeanor (Until the booze kicked in, of course.) Pam? Pam was a lowly receptionist who took weekend art classes at the university and stood back and watched as her best friend married a bitchy, uptight, pushy, and currently inebriated woman that was totally completely wrong for him.
So, yeah. She didn’t really have all that much to talk to them about. But c’mon, no need to be bitter! Pam sipped down the rest of her tea and ordered another, just as a wobbly Karen came by her table.
“PAY-YAM!” Karen sang as she flopped into a chair across from her. “I have—hic!—just the perrrrfect date for you! For—hic!—the wedding!”
“Oh, yeah?” Pam asked in monotone as the waiter clinked her refill back on the table.
“Yes!” Karen squealed, dipping one finger in the tea and licking it off. In her mind’s eye, she spilled the entire contents on Karen’s perfect sleek little head. In reality, she just pushed it towards her. “His name is Will and he’s my best friend! And you’re my best friend ever! So you guys would be awesome!” Karen giggled and Pam quirked your eyebrow.
“Your best friend, Will? You want me to go to your wedding with your best friend?”
“Mmmmmhmmmm!” Karen nodded and took a sip of the iced tea. She winced as she sipped through the straw. “Ugh. Too sweet!” The mid of honor, Karen’s sister Alyssa, handed the bride what looked like a rum-and-Coke, and Karen dumped it into the half-filled iced tea glass and took a long sip. “Mmmmm! Better!”
She then proceeded to slip off her chair, taking the rum-and-tea-and-Coke with her. The glass crashed around her, soaking her outfit and her hair. Everyone started laughing, and even the manager smirked as he kicked them out. (“That is not appropriate for this establishment, lady. I’m going to have to ask you to leave the premises.”)
The girls all shuffled out and stood on the corner while Pam fished her cell phone out of her bag and dialing.
“Pam? What’s going on? Are you guys okay?”
“We’re fine, Jim. But, um, we just got kicked out of the bar, so…”
“Kicked out? Oh boy, what did you do, Beesly?” he asked jokingly, and she could tell that he had a little alcohol in his system, too. What lovely parents they were sure to make.
“I didn’t do anything. Karen fell off her chair and got us escorted off the premises.”
“Fell off her chair, huh? That sounds familiar. Don’t you remember the Dundies like two years ago, Pam? Ah, you and Karen are one in the same, I guess!” he chuckled. Tears stung Pam’s eyes. They most certainly we’re not.
“Whatever, Jim. Just…what do you want me to do?”
“Relax, Pam. Just call a few cabs and have them take everyone down to Poor Richards—hey!“ There’s was some crackling on Jim’s end before a new voice screamed in Pam’s ear.
“Pam-a-lamma-ding-dong!” Ugh. Michael.
“Hi Michael.” she groaned. One of the bridesmaids had fallen asleep on the sidewalk and was snoring so loudly Pam had to plug one of her ears.
“Pamela! I hear you have some drunken babes! Bring ‘em down! We’ll “git ‘er done!” Ha—Dane Cook. It’ll be like Coyote Ugly! Except they’re hot!”
“Michael, I don’t think that’s a great idea. Can you put Jim on?”
“Sure, just remember! He’s getting’ hitched tomorrow!” Like she needed any reminding. There was some incoherent yelling before she heard Michael’s voice again. “Heeeere’s the groom!”
“Hey, sorry, about that. I tried to take the phone back, but Michael bit my hand.” Jim’s deeper voice stated breathlessly. Her heart flip-flopped.
“Yeah, well, I’ve got three cabs waiting here, so should we just come to Poor Richard’s, or?”
“Yeah, that’s fine. We’ll them home…somehow. I don’t know, but let’s just get everyone back in the state.”
“Okay. Well, Bye Jim. See you soon.” Pam said with a resound sigh.
“Bye Pam. See you.” And he hung up.
Chapter End Notes:
Ah! Karen and her friends: they're a rambunctious bunch, aren't they? Ha, well, review! Review like the wind! Next up: the Wedding: Part One! Oh boy!
