The car ride to Scranton was surprisingly quick, despite the fact that Jim spent the majority of the time shifting restlessly in his seat.  He couldn’t bring himself to believe what Ed was saying.  He’d never been born?  That wasn’t possible.  But as hard as Jim tried not to believe it, the truth of the matter was that something strange was going on.  Maybe everyone in the Stamford office had gotten together to prank him.  They did consider him to be a suck-up his first few months there and he had gotten a really bad reaction when he had tried to prank Andy with the “office supply in jell-o” bit.  He needed to be somewhere familiar; with his family or even someone from the Scranton office to prove that this was just an elaborate prank.  Then, they could all have a good laugh and it would be over.

“So…” Ed’s voice broke through his thoughts.

“What?” Jim asked, a little more forcefully than he had intended.

“Well, I'm just wondering what else there is to this story of yours.  I mean you say you wish you’d never been born, but there has to be more to it.  Did you hurt someone? Lose a bet? Is the mob after you? Because then that kind of changes where we can go with all of this.”

Jim let out a little laugh. “The mob is not after me.  But come on. You’re the angel.  Shouldn’t you already know or something?”

“Oh, I do already know, but that doesn’t matter.  I need you to tell me.”

“If I tell you, will this nightmare end?”

Ed calmly shrugged his shoulders. “That’s up to you.”

Jim sighed, “What does that even mean? It’s up to me?”

Ed didn’t respond.  He simply shrugged his shoulders and then pointing out the window said,  “Welcome to Scranton.”

They didn’t speak again until Ed pulled into the parking lot of Gerrity’s grocery store.

“I’m hungry.” he said, unfastening his seatbelt. “You?”

“No…I’m fine.” Jim said.  “What are we doing here anyways?  I don’t think the grocery store clerk not recognizing me is going to add much validity to the whole “I’ve never been born” story.”

“No it won’t.  But that’s not why we're here.  We're here because I'm hungry,” and with that Ed climbed out of the car, shutting the door behind him.

‘This is ridiculous,’ Jim thought as he watched Ed disappear inside the store. ‘I can’t believe I'm contributing to this madness.’

No more than five minutes later, Ed reappeared with a sack full of food.  He handed the bag to Jim and then settled back into the driver's seat.

“So…” he said, pulling a bag of pretzels from the grocery sack. “You ready to talk?”

Jim rolled his eyes, but since he had come to the realization that he probably had no other choice, he took a deep breath and began.  He told Ed about Pam and how from their first introduction he had known that she was someone special.  He talked about the minute he knew he was in love with her.  He recounted all the laughs, the jokes, the little moments that made him feel, if only briefly, that loving her wasn’t completely hopeless. Jim paused momentarily, baffled by the fact that he was sharing his deepest feelings with a stranger, but he didn’t stop. 

In a strange way, it was like he was talking to himself. Finally really letting himself remember what he had been trying so hard to forget. He talked about that night and how he hadn’t been planning on revealing his feelings, but once he saw her standing there, so beautiful and so…Pam, it finally all came spilling out.  As he talked, he remembered the throbbing pain when she had whispered, “I can’t,” and at that moment he had known what it felt like for a heart to truly break.  He talked about packing up his stuff to take to Stamford and how he had found a small, crumpled white paper dove in his desk drawer.  He had clutched the dove tightly in his hand before sinking down to the floor in tears.  He recalled the tiny spark of hope he had felt rekindling when he found out she had called off the wedding.  And he could still picture vividly in his mind the hole he had put in the wall, after throwing the phone at it, when three weeks had gone by with no call.
He talked about feeling guilty.  She had been getting married, finally getting what she wanted and he had to go and ruin it for her.  He talked about the guilt turning to confusion.  Confusion over how he could have possibly misread so many signals, tiny as they were.  Confusion over her choice of words.  She had said “I can’t," not “I won’t” or “I don‘t feel the same way” or even “I love Roy, not you.”  Just simply, “I can’t”.  He was confused over the look he could have sworn he had seen in her eyes that was begging him to hold her in his arms and make it all okay.

Then quicker than he could think, the guilt had turned into anger and that is where he had found himself stuck for so many weeks.  He was mad at her.  She had to have led him on.  Then he was mad for letting himself believe that there could have been something there.  Eventually, it was just easier to turn that anger towards others than toward himself.  He told Ed about hanging up on Michael during his fifth hysterical phone call in an attempt to understand why Jim had left.  He told about snapping at his mom and then dodging her phone calls, when all she was really trying to do was be supportive.  He told about yelling at his brother when he said to forget about her. He was angry with the choices he had made and the way that he had treated people.  He said he didn’t like what he had become, but he didn’t know how to fix it.  He didn’t know how to replace the emptiness that was inside him.  He didn’t know how to move on with his life.  He didn’t know how to forget her.

Jim took a deep breath, overwhelmed by all the emotions and memories he had just bombarded himself with.

“So, that’s why you wanted this?” Ed’s voice broke through the silence.

“What?”

“You think that if you had never told Pam how you felt, that she would have married Roy and lived happily ever after. And then in turn you would have been a better man, gotten over her and not taken out your anger and sadness on everyone else.  Is that right?”

Jim furrowed his brow at the tone of Ed’s question, but then nodded slowly.  “Yeah.  I guess that’s right.”

“Alright then.”  Ed said turning back in his seat and fastening his seatbelt.

“That’s all you have to say?” Jim asked.

“There’s nothing I can say. You have to see it,” Ed said simply before starting the car and then slowly pulling out of the parking lot. “Where are we going?” Jim asked looking out the window as the familiar scenery of Scranton passed by.

Ed said nothing, just made a quick right turn, followed by another.  Jim sat up straighter in his seat, when he realized where they were headed.

“The office?  You made me spill my guts about all that Pam stuff and we’re going to the office?”

“This isn’t just about Pam,” Ed said turning onto a street that Jim knew all too well.

Ed pulled into the parking lot of the Scranton Business Park and Jim chuckled when he parked next to Dwight’s all to familiar Camaro.

“Let’s go,” Ed said opening the door and stepping out of the car.

Jim sighed and then opened his door and climbed out.  He glanced around the parking lot.  There was Meredith’s van and a Vance Refrigeration Truck.  He also spotted Roy’s pickup parked down the small alley that was to the side of the building.  He heart began to pound as he realized that he was probably going to be seeing Pam in just a few minutes.  He followed Ed into the lobby and onto the elevator.  Before he knew it they were standing outside the door to the Dunder Mifflin office.

“Ready?” Ed paused with one hand on the door.

Jim took a deep breath, suddenly feeling extremely nervous.  He shrugged indifferently and then took a step into the office.  His glance immediately went to the reception desk and his heart sunk a bit when he saw that it was empty.  It looked the same, but there was something missing that Jim couldn’t quite put his finger on.  He moved a bit farther into the office coming to a stop directly in front of the reception desk.  He placed a hand lightly on the smooth surface, remembering the countless times he had stood here, listening to Pam laugh or relishing her smile.

“Can I help you?” a loud voice called across the office.

Jim turned quickly and a smile broke over his face when he saw Dwight stand up behind his desk.  He glanced around, not at all surprised to find that the rest of the office looked the same.  Everyone was there.  Phyllis was knitting at her desk, Stanley was on the phone looking like a bored hound dog.  Oscar was playing Solitaire and Kevin was counting M & M’s from his jar, while Angela looked on with a disapproving glare.  Meredith was slurping heavily on the straw from her Big Gulp and Creed was smelling something in his desk drawer.

“I said can I help you?” Dwight said louder, moving from behind his desk.

“Hey, Dwight,” Jim said with a smile.

“Who are you stranger and how do you know my name?” Dwight demanded, crossing his arms over his chest.

Jim cast a glance at Ed who was standing next to him.  “Um…we’re here to see Michael Scott,” Ed said.

“Hmmph…” Dwight exhaled loudly.  “Any idiot would know that Michael Scott has not been the branch manager here for several years.”

“He’s not?” Jim asked genuinely surprised.  He knew a lot about Michael Scott and most of was stuff that he wholeheartedly wished he didn’t know.  However, one thing he did know was that Michael loved working for Dunder Mifflin. “Where did he go?” he asked.

“Before I can share any of that information with you, you need to tell me who you are and what your business is here.”

Jim glanced around again to see Angela headed in their direction with some papers in her hand.  She walked straight into what apparently had been Michael's office, without so much as even a glance in his direction.  Jim moved slightly, so that he could see inside the office.  There were no toys on the desk and no World’s Best Boss mug proudly displayed in the center for all to see.  Jim stepped back quickly as Angela brushed past him.

“Hi, Angela,” he called out, not even thinking.

Angela stopped and swung around, her lips pursed in the typical Angela “look of disapproval”.

“You need a hair cut,” she said icily before glaring at Dwight and then briskly walked back to her desk.  Jim did not miss the look of distaste on Dwight's face as well as she left.

“Look…” Dwight was saying to Ed. “I am Assistant Regional Manager of this office and it is my duty…”

“To the.” Jim muttered under his breath, scanning around once more for any sign of Pam.

“Excuse me?” Dwight asked defensively.

“I am sorry for our interruption Mr..?” Ed said calmly

“Schrute.  You may refer to me as Mr. Schrute.”

“Okay…Mr. Schrute.  We are old friends of Michael Scott’s and we just stopped in to say hello.”

“What happened to Michael?” Jim asked abruptly.

“He got fired.  One too many malfeasances on his permanent record at corporate.  Though if you ask me, it should have happened sooner.”

“What?” Jim asked. “I thought Michael was like your mentor or something.”

“Ha!” Dwight scoffed.  “Michael Scott…my mentor?  He was always having these ridiculous meetings and making stupid, inappropriate jokes.  Michael Scott never has been, nor ever will be any sort of a mentor to anyone.”

“Wow Dwight.  That’s a bit harsh.  If Michael is gone how come you‘re not the Regional Manager?”

Jim covered his face with his hand when he saw Dwight visibly stiffen.

“Okay.  That’s enough.  I am going to have to ask you to leave before I am forced to call security or go for a far more drastic measure such as…”

Dwight’s voice faded out as something caught Jim’s eye across the room.  The door from the kitchen had opened and there she was.  Her head was down, her small, delicate hands cradling a coffee mug.  Her hair was pulled back in its normal barrette and he noticed that her gray cardigan hung loosely on her thin frame.  Jim’s breath caught in his throat as she headed towards them.