Every Sunday, Stanley Hudson went to 11 o'clock Mass at Our Lady of Sorrows. Teri liked the priest there. Stanley thought he was a windbag.
This week's homily was about fraternal correction, or "tough love." Now this was a subject Stanley could get behind. He thought the whole world needed some tough love.
Still, Stanley's attention drifted in and out. Until, at one point, he heard the priest saying:
"Maybe it's a co-worker who's treating somebody badly ..."
At this, Stanley stirred.
* * *
It took three days for Jim Halpert to lose the dazed expression he had taken on that night at the beach. It was the endless replay of her words in his head, and his unforgiving analysis of them, that finally did the trick. She never said she loved me, he told himself. She just wants things to be the way they were. She just wants to be friends.
By Monday morning, he was back to normal. He was friendly toward Pam when he came in. But he acted like nothing had happened. She fell into forced cheerfulness, and resignation. Not that he noticed; he couldn't let himself notice.
Late that morning, he walked into the break room, where Stanley sat doing his crossword puzzle.
"That was some speech," Stanley said, not looking up.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, she told the whole office she was in love with you."
Jim frowned. "That's not what she said. We're just friends."
Stanley put down his puzzle, paused, and looked at Jim.
"How stupid are you?"
"Excuse me?"
Stanley repeated it slowly, like he was talking to a child. "How - stupid - are - you?"
Jim's mouth fell open.
"You flirt with her all the time. She kisses you on the lips in front of everybody. She dumps her fiancee for you. And then you go off and come back with this" - here he spat out the words - "hot thing. And you flaunt it in front of her every day in the office."
Stanley stood up. "If somebody did that to my little girl, I'd kick his ass."
Jim had had enough. He snapped, "Stanley, did it ever occur to you that maybe you don't know everything there is to know about me and Pam?"
Stanley stared at him impassively. "You can think what you want. But I was married when you were in short pants. And I have seen a lot of men and women together in my day." He began to walk out.
But Jim stopped him. "Stanley," he said quietly. "Do you really think she ..." His words trailed off; he couldn't finish the sentence.
Stanley looked at Jim like he was a Martian and said, "How dumb are you?" Then he walked out.
* * *
It was only 11 o'clock, but Jim had to get out of the office. He had to calm himself. He had to think. He fled past reception and toward the door, until Pam called after him.
"Jim, where are you going?"
"I'm just going to take an early lunch."
"Do you want me to tell Karen?"
Jim turned. For the first time that day, he smiled warmly at Pam. "No," he said.
Story Notes:
I own no intellectual property rights in "The Office" whatever. I have a Dwight Schrute stress ball, though.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Have you ever wanted to take Jim after he returned from Stamford and just slap him? Well, so did Stanley.
Chapter End Notes:
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