This was really not the way that things were supposed to be tonight, he thought to himself as he closed the door to his apartment much louder than he’d intended. He stared carefully at the floor as he heard Pam take off her coat and place it on the coat rack. He lifted his eyes a little bit to see her slip her shoes off and walk over to the sofa at the other end of the room. She curled up into a ball and placed her chin between her knees. He took off his own coat and shoes and joined her, briefly placing his face in his hands before taking a deep breath and talking.
“So…Andy proposed to Angela.” His voice sounded completely empty, though it was saying something else.
“Yeah,” said Pam in a really small voice. “It was really –” She paused, trying to hold back the soft moisture filling her eyes. “I guess it really was the perfect moment for a proposal.” She waited another moment while Jim didn’t say anything. “I feel bad for Dwight.”
“It’s really, really hard watching the girl you love decide to marry someone else,” Jim finally said.
“Right,” Pam said, thinking of the last year she had spent with Jim. It had all led up to tonight, really. At least, that’s what she had thought until Andy had stood up and taken the moment. Without thinking, she said to herself, “Moment number three.”
“What are you talking about?” Jim asked her, confused.
“Nothing, it’s just…” Pam tried to hold in her tears after she realized her mistake. Realizing it was a lost cause, she stood up and walked to the other side of the room to the window, her back turned on him so that he wouldn’t be able to see her face. “It’s the third time that I thought you were going to propose.” The tears began to stream down her face.
They both let her words sink in.
“You’re really not making this any easier.” Jim sighed. “It was supposed to be tonight. I gave Phyllis the money for the fireworks, along with the CD that was playing.” Pam turned around in shock.
“Really?” Jim’s face was back in his hands.
“Yes. I got the idea when I was talking to Michael in his office, then I gave Phyllis the money for fireworks, and was a complete wreck all afternoon. And then Andy –” He shuddered before continuing. “I’d say it’s impossible to tell who hates that son of a bitch more right now, me or Dwight.”
Pam slowly walked back over to him. She carefully lowered herself into his lap and began to kiss him. It was deep and slow, not the making-out that would usually lead to something else. She lifted her head and inhaled slowly to prevent her nose from running and the other tears that might have fallen.
“You did seem really nervous, and I noticed the fireworks and –” Pam stopped talking very suddenly. She started up again almost as quickly. “Okay, I’m going to try to look at this situation positively, and I really want you to do the same.” She cupped his chin and forced him to look at her, where he’d previously been looking at the floor.
“One thing good about you not proposing tonight is that now, we won’t be spending the first three months of our engagement apart. Twelve weeks of only seeing each other occasionally would really suck.” Jim chuckled a little, a shadow of a smile on his face.
“This isn’t easy –I know you’re a girl, so you probably won’t get this, but proposing can have a really strong impact on a guy’s ego,” he said.
“No, I get it,” she smiled encouragingly. “I think I get it. I know you’ve thought about this for a really long time –you’re not the only one.”
“Yeah,” Jim looked her in the eyes freely now. “My positive spin is that even though I’m out of a hundred bucks, tonight might not have been the perfect moment if Andy could steal it so easily. Something even more perfect for us might be coming up.” He paused for a moment, “And, for right now, I know that I love you more than anything or anyone, and that no feeling has ever compared to the one that I get every time you walk in a room, and that the knowledge that I will wake up to your face for the rest of my life is what keeps me going on the days when we’ve spent the night apart and I honestly don’t feel like getting up. For years I’ve had visions of you walking towards me in white, and if the moment that separates us as we are now from that vision has only been postponed a little while, and you’re fine with it, then I’m really more than okay.” Pam’s eyes gleamed from his speech.
“I didn’t want a long engagement, anyway, and it’s true that my idea of the perfect moment did not include Dwight and Michael and Angela, so while I appreciate your effort, so much, I think I’m over the initial disappointment,” Pam stated, trying to be as matter-of-fact as she could. Before long, his eyes had wiped her mind free of all words except a few.
“I love you so much,” She murmured, and leaned in to kiss him again. He kissed back fervently, breaking only once to agree. After countless minutes, Pam separated her mouth from his and tipped her forehead forward so they leaned against each other.
“Can we sway?” She asked him. Jim grinned.
“Yeah, Beesly, we can sway,” he said. Every so often, at times like then, Pam would want to slow dance with Jim. Sometimes it was to make up for the missed opportunity at Phyllis’ wedding, and sometimes it was for the sake of sharing a quiet moment with music. Jim stood up, bringing her with him. Her hand found her iPod in her back pocket and slid it into the dock on the coffee table. A couple minutes later, his hands were at her back and hers behind his neck as Jon McLaughlin’s voice crooned a few feet away.
“We’re a bit past the lyrics…but it sounded right,” Pam whispered. Listening to the melody, the two stared into the other’s eyes, completely understanding everything there was to understand about who they were, and who they would be for eternity.
Story Notes:
Because honestly, who WASN'T curious what went down with our favorite two couples after the going-away party?!
Author's Chapter Notes:
I after seeing Goodbye Toby and then Weight Loss, I really wanted to see what Jim and Pam did after the failed proposal. The lyrics of the songs don't match the story, but the titles do.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, though I'm looking for some more classy in my life.
Disclaimer: I own nothing, though I'm looking for some more classy in my life.
FrenchSwissBorder is the author of 1 other stories.
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