After twenty minutes of being probed by Michael for relationship advice, Pam finally made it back to her reception desk. She felt marginally better. Sure she might die alone, but at least, well at least she wasn’t Jan and Michael. She shivered briefly at the thought. She was ready to numb her mind with a little solitaire. Whatever made the day go quicker.
After five games of mindsweep (she had quickly gotten frustrated at being dealt crappy hands in Solitaire), Pam was still bored. She glanced at her inbox and clicked on Jim’s email again. Staring. Willing it be different. Willing it to declare his love for her and take the pain away. She was just about to close it when she noticed something at the top of the email in bold lettering: You replied at 09.35am.
Her hand shook, making an abrupt clattering sound against her mouse. Reply? She didn’t reply! She had clicked the screen off she was sure of it. She desperately tried to steady her hand as she clicked on sent items and there it was, right at the top of the list:
From: Pam@receptionscranton.dm.com
To: Jim@salesscranton.dm.com
Subject Re: Hey
Let me see am I ok? I have a job that I hate, I live in a stupidly small apartment which still feels too big because I am by myself, the only thing I have is my art, but that just makes me sadder, because nobody, except you even cared that I won an art contest, and most of all I’m lonely. I’m lonely because I wanted to be independent and although I’d never go back to Roy, I feel like I have no one and before I was never lonely, because at least I had you, even if I didn’t have you in that way. Now every night I go to bed and think I blew it. I blew it because I can’t do this by myself, I can’t do this without you.
Panic filled her chest. She didn’t dare to look up. To see if he had seen it. She closed her eyes. Willing it to go away. Willing to be someplace different. Anywhere but here. After a few more minutes she finally jerked her head up towards his desk and... Nothing. It was empty. Jim was no where to be seen.
Relief waved over her. But it was only temporary. Questions raced through her mind without control. How long had he been gone? Had he been there when she had gone to see Michael? Had he seen it and then left? Why was this happening? It was the sort of corny thing that happened in films as a dramatic plot device, not in real life! Not in her life.
Her heart sunk at the thought having to speak to Karen, but she needed to know if and when Jim was coming back today.
She tried desperately to make her voice sound natural as she asked, “ Uh hey Karen, where’s Jim?”
Karen glared back at her “sales call, went a while ago. Why?”
“Err, no reason. I just have a bunch of messages for him.”
Pam tried to distract herself. It seemed she was in the clear for now. But for how long? She played a little more mindsweep. She tidied the desk. She added some more jellybeans to the counter. She even sent some faxes for Dwight. Every second she was thinking about it. She felt stuck between past and future. She was in the present. Waiting. Waiting for everything to tumble down again.
When Dwight had been in Michael’s office five minutes she casually sauntered over to Jim’s desk, in guise of leaving him a message. She talked loudly to no-one in particular. “Oh is Jim not here, I’ll just leave this message on his desk and...’” She turned around, no-one was even looking at her. Not even Karen who probably thought she was deranged, with the whole talking to herself and all. Her plan was to somehow had delete the message from Jim’s computer. Well it was worth a shot. Right?
She clicked on the screen to bring the computer to life. Praying no one would notice what she was doing.
A message flashed on the screen. Computer locked by J Halpert. She didn’t even think of that, who locks their computer anyways? Then again he did sit opposite Dwight. She had no choice but to go back to her desk. There didn’t seem another way out.
As Pam went back to her own (unlocked) computer, she noticed that her sister Jenna had left a message on her IM. Pam groaned, her sister was, well she meant well, but she was kind of flighty. She reminded her of Kelly and was constantly moaning that Pam needed to get ‘hotter clothes.’ Pam hovered over the reply button. Technically she wasn’t supposed to use IM for personal reasons at work. But then again, she was pretty sure sending a declaration of love via work email to your colleague was not appropriate either. Nor was being grilled by your boss on dating techniques come to think of it. What had she got to lose?
JENNA: Hi big sis how’s it going up in Scranton?
PAM: Well I just sent Jim an email and now I can’t get it back.
JENNA: Yay! Good for you to start talking to him :)Whatcha say?
PAM: Let me see, that I hate my life, I’m lonely, I can’t be without him. Etc.
JENNA: OMG! Well see I just meant you know to be friends again. That’s sounds like a bit crazy Pam! Not cool! OMG I would so never do that!
PAM: I know it sounds crazy! I didn’t mean to send it! Obviously! And now he’ll think I am a complete psycho. I tried to get into email but it’s locked because he’s on a sales call, so I am pretty much screwed. Oh and I almost fell asleep earlier when talking to my boss. So yeah fun day!
JENNA: Well you know it’s not the end of the world, at least then he’ll know how you feel. Then you guys can get married and have babies! OMG Can I be bridesmaid! I’ll wear anything except pink, because I dyed my hair red yesterday and it would totally clash!
PAM: Errr... anyway this is so not the appropriate medium to tell how I feel! Help!
JEN: Well, why not? He obviously feels the same. You can tell the story at the wedding! It’ll be fun!
PAM: Well he’s with Karen now!
JENNA: I know, and she’s quite hot, but seriously, it’s just like when he was with Katy in Booze Cruise. Remember? Sure she was mega pretty, but he loved you!
PAM: How do you even know what Katy looks like? You’ve never met her! Did I even tell you about when we went on that Booze Cruise?
JENNA: Do you forget that your show airs like every week? It was repeated last week! It was so much fun to watch. You know you were both silent on the dock for exactly twenty seven seconds! I counted. Twice!
PAM: Yeah well if you watched the show recently then you would have probably seen him turn me down for coffee and tell me that he has a GIRLFRIEND!
S: That was less fun to watch :(
P: Yeah.
JENNA: Pam, seriously though he loves you! Did you not see at Christmas time when Roy gave you that present and he was totally jealous, he did the face and everything and you were wearing that cute red sweater. That was way cute, where did you get that from by the way?
PAM: Er, Target. He was jealous, of what? Can we get back to the fact that THE EMAIL IS STILL ON THE COMPUTER AND JIM IS STILL ON THE SALES CALL! Shall we get back to that?
JENNA: Look Pam. All of these ‘problems’ about you and Jim are in all your head. Jim still loves you FACT. You love him like double FACT. You just need to speak to him, and tell him how you feel. I mean if you watch your own show occasionally then you might know that.
PAM: I asked him for coffee. I put myself out there once, like he put himself out there once. We’re even.
JENNA: Twice.
PAM: What?
JENNA: He put himself out there twice Pam. Once when he did the whole ‘ooh I love you’ and you were like all ‘ooh lets be friends even though I think your way hot.’ But then he came back and kissed you! See that makes twice!
PAM: That counts as once!
JENNA. He told Michael twice, at the convention.
PAM: How do you know?
JENNA: Oh my god Pam! Like the TV show! Also on youtube, under ‘Jim tells Michael why he left Stamford.’ What a waste, you could totally spy on him and you haven’t even looked! He said ‘I put myself out there twice and she still said no.’
JENNA: So that makes you 2-1.
PAM: I just need to get the email of f the computer!
JENNA: Yeah I don’t know how to do that though! Why don’t you go shopping during lunch?
PAM: Why?
JENNA: Well at least you’ll look hot when he reads the email!
PAM: Yeah speak to you soon Jenna.
JENNA: Byee! Keep me updated with the gossip! I am so going to tell my roommate, she loves JAM!
Pam sighed. Her sister was strange! Totally ignoring the situation and rambling on about her roommates favourite condiment! That really hadn’t helped her at all. She still didn’t know what to do next, but then again there didn’t seem to be anything she could do. Now.
Her heart almost stopped as she saw Jim striding through the door.
Author's Chapter Notes:
Ooh will Jim read the email? Will either character declare their love? Will I drag this out longer than necessary?! The drama!
In this episode we meet Pam's sister Jenna (see what I did there! Plus my actual name is Jenna so double the fun!) Pam's sister is basically Kelly under a different guise, so sorry if that's lazy writing. I wanted Pam to tell Kelly originally, but it didn't seem something Pam would do.
On a final note, thanks so so much for all the people who have read and reviewed. Like I said before I love to write, but never let anyone read it, so seeing people enjoying it is making me way happy!Usual disclaimer applies.
In this episode we meet Pam's sister Jenna (see what I did there! Plus my actual name is Jenna so double the fun!) Pam's sister is basically Kelly under a different guise, so sorry if that's lazy writing. I wanted Pam to tell Kelly originally, but it didn't seem something Pam would do.
On a final note, thanks so so much for all the people who have read and reviewed. Like I said before I love to write, but never let anyone read it, so seeing people enjoying it is making me way happy!Usual disclaimer applies.
Chapter End Notes:
So I'm not sure if I liked this chapter, it's really a stepping stone to get to the angst then the resolution!
Also I know the whole 'you replied..' message sounds a bit odd, but I do get that on my outlook!
As usual any reviews would be as fab as the UK showing season 4 or 5 of The Office, rather than Series 3! grr!
Also I know the whole 'you replied..' message sounds a bit odd, but I do get that on my outlook!
As usual any reviews would be as fab as the UK showing season 4 or 5 of The Office, rather than Series 3! grr!
