Pam didn't go to New York immediately.

She needed to see Jim, to make sure that he really existed, that he was still the same Jim who used to be her best friend. And who used to love her.

But was she just supposed to walk into the corporate and demand seeing him? No, a better plan had to be devised and it was slowly forming inside Pam's head. The details were still a little hazy, though.

Other than that, Pam's main concern right now was that his Dunder Mifflin profile didn't feature Jim's photo, and as naturally she didn't have any other photo of him, she was basically Jimless at the moment. Of course, she remembered what he looked like, but it would be nice to have something to look at...

Fortunately, Pam knew that all hope was not lost for a picture of Jim.

And so, she spent her lunch break most productively, sitting in the breakroom, hunched over her sketchbook and recreating the memory of Jim's face with her pencil. She had to admit, it turned out pretty well. The eyes, the messy hair, the nose that was just that little bit too big, it was all pretty spot on.

She sighed contentedly. She never liked doing portraits, or maybe she just wasn't brave enough to draw them. She didn't think she was talented enough for that.

This was good, though. It was perhaps one of the best pictures she'd ever done. With a little proud smile she put her signature in one corner and a date in another. She didn't even hear when someone entered the breakroom.

“Who's that” she was startled by Kelly's curious voice.

“Oh, no one,” Pam tried to cover her sketchbook, but to no avail. Kelly already got hold of one side of it and was now inspecting the picture appreciatively.

“Cute. Very cute,” she giggled. “What's his name?”

“Uh, I don't know, it's just...” Pam was at a loss.

“Can you set me up with him?” Kelly inquired.

“Kelly, I'm sorry, but I really can't do anything. I don't know that guy,” Pam replied, feeling suddenly very downcast again. Oh, she did know him. He just didn't know her.

“Then who is he?” Kelly pressed on.

“Oh, just... Just someone I saw on the bus once,” Pam lied.

“Wow, you remembered him well” Kelly was still admiring the portarit.

“I have photographic memory,” Pam mumbled quietly, then tried to create a divertion, even if it meant sacrificing a certain colleague. “But anyway, I thought you wanted me to play matchmaker for you and Ryan.”

“It doesn't hurt to have options, Pam,” Kelly shrugged. “Besides,” she sighed heavily, “I don't really know anymore. Ryan has been working here for such a long time already. If anything was supposed to happen, it already would have,” she reasoned.

“Oh, I don't know, Kelly...” Pam sighed, as she thought of Jim sitting in front of her for three years and never saying a word about what he felt.

“It's been over a year, Pam, he started here on the exact day that the camera crew started filming here, remember?”

“Sure,” Pam smiled. At least that was something she was familiar with.

“Those were some six weeks! Michael was totally out of control. I mean, he's always bad, but when they were here, wow,” Kelly shook her head in disbelief.

“Yeah,” Pam nodded. “But, um, I thought they were here for longer than six weeks,” she remarked, as diplomatically as she could. She wasn't running around anymore, searching for nonexistant teapots. She has learned to explore her new reality in a different way.

“Oh no, it was exactly six weeks, I remember, because they made it into exactly six episodes. Not that they aired them, apart from the pilot, but still, I know it was six.” Kelly's voice was wistful and Pam wondered if she was still bemoaning a lost chance for a reality TV career.

“Sometimes I can't believe they didn't come back,” Pam said carefully, but Kelly instantly took the bait.

“I know! And they said we lacked plot potential, whatever that means! It sounds kind of insulting, you know?”

“Yeah,” Pam nodded yet again.

That was an important change. And although Pam was a modest person who never gave herself any credit, she knew she was somehow involved in that change.

During the past three days Pam had been through so much, had analyzed her life and her relationship with Jim to the smallest detail, that now she could be no longer blind to the obvious. She knew why the camera crew left, why they didn't see the point in making the documentary longer and why they thought there was no 'plot potential'. Jim was not here. That was enough to change the plans of the crew. Well, Jim was not here with her, to be precise.

It was strangely clear now and she wondered, half ashamed with herself, how evident it was to the documentary creators that he was in love with her. Did they ask him questions to pry this information out of him? Did they film every time he went over to the reception area or smiled at her warmly? Did they see his humiliation at the dojo? And, oh, they must have loved it when Roy acted so aggressively after Meredith's birthday!

She snapped out of her reverie when Kelly started explaining that she had to go back to her desk. Pam quickly collected herself. She needed Kelly for her plan to get acquainted with Jim. She grabbed Kelly's hand before she could leave the breakroom.

“Kelly,” Pam whispered conspirationally. “I need to tell you something very personal and very important.”

“What? What happened?” Kelly whispered back.

Pam said nothing in reply, she just held up her left hand, now ringless after she had given the symbol of their engagement back to Roy. He didn't want to take it, but she left on the kitchen table anyway.

Kelly didn't disappoint. It only took her three seconds to process the visual information she received.

“Oh my God! Pam! You poor, poor thing!” she exclaimed. “What happened? Roy left?” she inquired with genuine care in her voice.

“Oh, no,” Pam shook her head. Her plan wasn't exactly fair to Roy, but the last thing she wanted was to make people think he was responsible for their break-up. “It was me, Kelly. I broke up with Roy.”

“But why, you were so cute together!”

“I don't know,” Pam smiled sadly. “It's complicated. I'm very confused right now, you know?”

“I bet you are!” Kelly nodded eagerly.

“I'm just in a very bad place right now. And it's really hard for me. Really hard,” Pam stressed, happy to know Michael wasn't around to hear this 'that's what she said' inducing phrase. “Really hard, Kelly.”

---

It was four o'clock.

The day at the office was slowly coming to an end and Pam's fingers were starting to feel itchy.

Very itchy.

She knew her condition could be healed in only one way – by picking up the phone.

She had a little post-it stuck to her computer screen, with a row of digits and two letters written on them. JH. It was Jim's phone number in the New York office. She copied it from the company's site the day before and now she felt that it was mocking her and her fear. She was such a wimp.

No, not a wimp, she tried to tell herself. It wasn't really about courage or lack of it... Calling Jim right now just didn't fit with her plan. And he wouldn't know her anyway, so what was the point?

But then again... Oh God. She just had to hear his voice. To actually exchange two or three sentences with him! And what if it wasn't the Jim Halpert she was looking for? A lot of links came up in the google search, so there was obviously more than just one of them. Well, now it was obvious. She had to check. Better safe than sorry.

Pam reached for the phone tentatively. She looked around. Everyone seemed busy with their work. (Only Phyllis glanced up at her from time to time and Pam was sure Kelly must have already talked to her. Good, that was good.) She wished she could wait until everyone left to make the call, but unfortunately it would also mean that Jim probably left his office as well. It had to be done now.

Slowly, very slowly, Pam dialed the number, checking every digit twice before she pushed the right button.

The line was free and almost immediately the phone was picked up.

“Jim Halpert.”

Pam's throat went dry in a second. She closed her eyes.

It was Jim. There was no doubt about that.

“Hello?” Jim repeated, somewhere in New York, in a different office, at a different desk.

Leading a different life.

Not even aware of her existence,

She hung up.

---

It took Pam five minutes to calm down.

It was more difficult than she had expected. She thought that now that she knew where to find Jim, that she actually had his phone number – that she was now out of the woods. The worst had been averted – Jim wasn't dead, Chinese, or running from the FBI. But now she realized the most difficult part of her task was yet to come. She had to face that man, for whom she was a complete stranger, with the knowledge that she loved him and that he once, in a different life, loved her too.

There was so much she knew about him and at the same time so much she had no idea about. Did he still like the same music? The same movies? Did he prank his co-workers at the corporate? Did he roll up his sleeves at work?

No, probably not. He was probably more professional now.

But she refused to believe he could be very different on the inside. In her mind's dictionary “Jim Halpert” stood for “sweet, smart, funny, caring”.

Even Creed and his freaky powers couldn't have changed that.

When she picked up the receiver for the second time, she dialed his number fast, half scared she might change her mind after the initial fiasco. Again, she heard his voice on the other end of the line.

“Jim Halpert.”

“Hi. Um... My... my name is Pam... Beesly,” she introduced herself shakily.

“How can I help you?” he asked and she felt her heart break just a little at the polite indifference in his voice. Oh, she hadn't expected a joyful “Beesly, it's you!”, but its lack still hurt.

“I'm from Dunder Mifflin, Scranton,” she said. “And... I was told to... call this number.”

“To call me?” Jim asked and Pam could imagine him scratching the back of his head in confusion. “I don't remember ever asking about the Scranton branch. But if you could wait a minute, I'll check if maybe there's a mistake and someone else wanted to talk to you.”

“Uh, you know what,” Pam started, already prepared for that offer – years of being Jim's prank mate didn't go to waste. “I think I just got the extension wrong. My boss's handwriting is a little hard to read sometimes. I dialed seven instead of two.”

“Well, I guess the mystery has been solved, then,” Jim chuckled and Pam felt a strange lump forming in her throat.

“Yes, I'm sure now when I look at the number. I'm sorry, I didn't have any names written, so...”

“No problem, really,” he said reassuringly. “So, if there's nothing I can do for you, I guess... have a good day?” he said.

“You too,” Pam answered quietly

She heard the click of him hanging up.