Jan was tapping her fingers on the table and Pam couldn't help thinking that right now Jan would give a lot to be able to sneak out for a smoke.

They were both sitting in the conference room. Through the glass door Pam could see that her coworkers seemed very interested in whatever was going on, if the extraordinary number of times Kevin, Meredith and Kelly passed by the door was anything to go by. Even Angela's eyes seemed to light up when Jan asked Pam to step into the conference room with her, even though she always said that curiosity in other people's personal matters was an unforgivable sin.

But to Pam, it was no surprise. For a week, she had been waiting anxiously for this moment to come. In a few minutes, she would know if her plan succeeded.

The plan itself was fairly simple. Kelly was the first one she told about her broken engagement and how difficult the situation was for her. As it turned out, she didn't have to tell anyone else, because the gossip soon spread like wildfire. People seemed shocked and – mostly – very supportive. They asked her if everything was alright and she always replied that no, it wasn't. Angela even came up to her desk to ask if Pam would like to accompany her to a mass next Sunday. Pam could find comfort in prayer, Angela said. It was weird. She didn't remember Angela being so nice the first time she broke up with Roy. But, Pam though slightly amused, this was perhaps because Angela hadn't been subjected to years of Jim flirting with Pam, or Pam Pong, as she used to call it. She really must have disapproved, Pam mused. She told Angela she wasn't feeling good enough to leave her house to any other place than work, but added that she did find comfort in praying anyway. Which was true, only Pam prayed for very different things than Angela imagined.

And then Toby came up to her and asked if she was feeling okay. Apparently Kelly had told him how hard Pam was taking her situation, some other people confirmed this and he felt obliged to check up on her. It was his job, after all. Under any other circumstances Pam would have answered that she was okay, that it was just a personal problem, nothing to worry about for HR and that it wouldn't affect her work. But not this time. This time Pam looked Toby in the eye and told him that she had been feeling very depressed lately, that she couldn't concentrate and that she thought she needed time out. No, not out of work, Pam shook her at Toby's suggestion. She needed to work, working was great to relieve her current stress. It's just that she didn't think she could work right here at this moment. Not only in Dunder Mifflin. In Scranton, in general. She needed a change of scenery for... say, three months. Yes, three months could do it. In that time, she could work out her problems. She just needed to be somewhere else, somewhere... different.

To be honest, Pam said, you couldn't get much more different from Scranton than New York.

She took a big risk and she knew it very well, but it seemed like the best option. Her first thought was the graphic design internship Jan had told her about, but she soon abandoned this idea. First, she would have to wait two months for it to start. And two, Jan said it was held mostly on weekends, and what chance did she have of Jim turning up at work on Saturdays and Sundays? Not a very big one, if he was anything like the Jim she knew. And she certainly didn't like the idea of running around New York and looking for him.

Pam didn't know why Toby didn't refuse her right away, in his Toby-esque, polite, diplomatic way. She knew her wish to be temporarily transferred to New York was rather silly and naïve. But Toby just said he would talk to Jan about it. Maybe he didn't want to take a risk after they found out last year about that Tom guy who committed suicide. Either way, here she was at the conference table, with Jan, dangerously close to finding out if her wish was to be granted.

“Pam, I hope you realize that you're asking us for a lot,” Jan started.

“I do,” Pam nodded.

“It's not something that we would normally do,” Jan added. “It's not even something we would normally be able to do, in simply practical terms.”

“I know,” Pam replied quietly.

“But Toby says you're taking your current personal situation very hard, after breaking up with your fiance,” Jan said slowly, giving Pam a thoughtful look.

“It's more complicated than that,” Pam said. “But it's true, I have been having problems lately.”

“We might have an offer for you, but...” Jan folded her arms and sighed. “What makes you think moving to New York will make it better? What if you move and it doesn't help? Isn't just going to therapy a better and more convenient option? Not that therapy helps much,” she added under her breath.

“I just want to be away from here, that's all,” Pam bit her lip. “I can go to therapy, but I want to do something else for myself, you know. I've lived here for my entire life and I think it's now catching up to me, everything reminds me of my problems. I need a change. New York seems perfect. I might take some art classes while I'm there. I'm sure there are many more possibilities there than in Scranton.”

“Well,” Jan gave her a tiny smile. “I could go on board with that.”

Pam simply smiled back.

“Okay, here's the deal, Pam. One of our receptionists at the corporate is pregnant. She will be taking a leave in a week. We were going to get a temp to fill her position, obviously, but if you really want to go, you can do just as well.”

“Oh...” Pam looked at Jan, surprised. “That sounds great.”

“The work itself shouldn't be much more difficult from what you're used to. The work environment might be a little different...” Jan trailed off and Pam just knew she was thinking of Michael. “Anyway, I'm sure you'll do fine. You'll be working for three departments, but it's not more than ten people.”

“What departments are they?” Pam asked, trying to sound as casually as she could.

“Human resources, public relations and advertising,” Jan listed, oblivious to the fact that she had now become Pam Beesly's favorite person. “HR is the biggest.”

“So... a week?” Pam asked.

“Yes. It will give you time to find an apartment and it will give us an opportunity to find someone to cover your spot in Scranton for the time being.”

“Jan, you have no idea how grateful I am. You're saving my life,” Pam said earnestly.

Jan looked down and stared at her hands for a long while.

“I know it can be hard to end a relationship,” she said quickly. “I'm going to go talk with Toby.” She stood up abruptly and left the conference room, leaving Pam alone.

---

“This is my cell phone number,” Pam handed Creed a white square of paper. “I will call you every few days just in case, but please call me when you finally get a date for the hearing or if you just find out anything.”

It was her last day in Dunder Mifflin, Scranton and she was saying goodbye to everyone.

A few weeks ago she would never have imagined it was Creed of all people to whom saying goodbye would be most important.

“Hey,” Creed looked at the piece of paper. “I didn't know your name was Pam. I thought it was Sam.”

“Yes, I know you did,” Pam smiled.

“Sorry,” he said. “But you know I have more important things to worry about than people's names.”

“Oh, yes,” Pam sighed. “I know that.”

“Well, anyway, I don't think you should expect a call in the next two or three weeks. But – I hope it won't take longer than a month. I know it sounds like a very long time, but you'll be busy in New York, won't you? Trying to win the heart of your beloved,” he smirked, even though it seemed rather rude to Pam. It was partly (mostly, Pam wanted to say) his fault, after all.

“I guess,” she shrugged. “But it would be infinitely easier, if I could just go back to the old pattern.”

“It didn't seem so easy when you were in it,” Creed remarked.

“Well, I was wrong. People make mistakes,” Pam said defensively.

“Oh yeah, you don't even know how many. And then I have to fix them,” he sighed and Pam found it very hard not to stick her tongue at him.

---

Two hours later Pam left the office, feeling a little sad, but the sadness was definitely overshadowed by anxiety. Her father was driving her to New York today, in just a couple of hours. She was going to spend the first night in her tiny teeny apartment. And tomorrow, she was going to meet Jim. Or, to be more exact, Jim was going to meet her. For the first time in his life. That was scary, to say the least.

But there was still something she had to do here, in Scranton. When she left the building, she walked towards the spot where Roy usually parked. His car was still there – he hadn't left yet. She leaned against the car. She was tired.

Five minutes passed before Pam saw Roy approaching. When he noticed her, he slowed down, but kept on walking.

"Hey,” she started, but he didn't answer. “I'm leaving for New York today, so I wanted to say goodbye,” she explained.

“So I heard,” he shrugged. “Everyone's saying you're leaving because of me. Michael said I broke your heart or something.”

“I'm sorry,” Pam looked at him pleadingly. “I swear I said it was me who broke it off. I never said a word to blame you or anything. I'm really sorry if they're turning this against you.”

Again, she was met with silence.

“I did tell them I was taking it unusually hard,” she continued. “But I never said you did anything wrong. Again, I'm sorry, it was perhaps unfair to you to use our break up like that.”

“Are you, Pam? Are you taking it unusually hard? Because you don't seem to! And why would you, really. You're the one who called of the wedding.”

“I had to say it, otherwise I couldn't have gone to New York,” she said quietly.

“That's it? You just wanted to go to New York? God, Pam. If that's what you wanted, to get out of Scranton... I could've just gone with you, you know,” Roy finished angrily.

“No, it's not that. It's not about you, or Scranton, or New York. I want to go there, because it will help me... unwind. But my problems... they're complicated, Roy, and it's not just our relationship that went wrong in my life. It's more than that. That's why I need time away from here.”

“I just don't get you, Pam,” Roy sighed.

“I'm sorry,” she repeated yet again.

“I thought you were happy.”

“I was! I was, for a long time. But... I'm not anymore and I couldn't be, in the long run. And you couldn't, too. I know that.”

“I could be happy, Pam,” he said stubbornly. “If you just came back. I'd forget about all this nonsense. I swear, I would never hold it against you.”

“Thanks,” Pam smiled slightly. “But I can't go back. It's all for the best, Roy. For both of us. I promise.”

Suddenly, there was nothing else to say. It would take longer than a week to heal Roy's wounds and right now there wasn't much more Pam could say or do to make him understand what she was going through. She couldn't tell him the truth, that was for sure. It wasn't his fault, but frankly, it wasn't Pam's fault either.

It was obviously Creed's fault, she thought.

Roy, too, must have felt that the conversation was over. He reached into his pocket to fish out his car keys. He looked at Pam before opening the door.

“So, I guess I'll see you when you come back,” Roy said.

“Yeah,” Pam said.

But even though she said it, and everyone else called her job in NY a temporary transfer, she knew she was never coming back to Dunder Mifflin, Scranton, not in this pattern anyway. If she managed to get Jim back, she would stay in New York, she would find a new job after her time at the corporate ran out, and if Jim couldn't be hers... Well, then there wasn't anything in Scranton to keep her here and too much to remind her of what she lost. She would just start anew, as hard as that would be.

Perhaps she would find out as soon as tomorrow which option it was more likely to be.

Tomorrow.