She’d prepared for this day for two weeks. She knew she’d be a nervous wreck. It was 6:30 a.m., and she was standing in front of her full-length mirror trying on her sixth outfit. She had to look perfect today. She finally settled on a black pants suit with a pink blouse.
This was the day she was going to see Jim for the first time in seven months. This was the day the Stamford branch became part of the Scranton branch. She still couldn’t believe that it was happening and still wondered how the Scranton crew had pulled it off.
Sure, she had talked to Jim through emails. She was able to apologize to him about what had happened and how she had rejected him; how she had not been the one to tell him about canceling her wedding; how she felt responsible for the way their relationship had grown apart; but, she still hadn’t seen him.
She was able to pick up on his defensiveness through their email correspondence. He wasn’t the same Jim she had known in the past. She was very well aware that she had hurt him and that she was going to have to fight like Hell to get him back.
It was 7:50 a.m. when she pulled up into the parking lot. She scanned the lot for his Toyota, but it was no where to be found. As she parked her car, she got the worst pain in chest and stomach…she was so nervous she felt as if she could throw up.
It was 8:30 a.m. She was sitting at her desk with sweaty palms. She held her breath every time the office door opened. No one from the Stamford branch had arrived yet.
9:15 a.m. She was on the phone with an irate customer who said the company had double-shipped his order. She couldn't get in a word to explain to this guy that she was not the one he needed to be speaking with. Just as she was about ready to throw the phone in frustration, she heard the office door swing open. She glanced over to see a group of people walk in, including Jim. He was wearing a new black suit with monochromatic blue shirt and tie. “Wow,” she said under her breath. He looked so good, she thought to herself. She had almost forgotten how attractive he was.
She was snapped back into reality when the man on the phone asked her when she was going to send a call tag to pick up the over-shipped order. “Sir, I’m sorry that your order was double-shipped. If I can get your account number and phone number, I’ll make sure we get this matter taken care of.”
Michael came out of his office.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the Stamford branch,” Michael said rather loudly as he walked out of his office. “Welcome Stamford branch! I’m Michael Scott, regional manager.” He continued to blabber on while shaking hands and introducing himself to the new crew.
Jim was standing with his back to Pam. A line formed with all the Scrantonites wanting to introduce themselves to their new coworkers.
Pam was finally able to get off the phone. She took a deep breath and walked over to where the huddle had formed. At that moment, she didn’t care to meet the three men and two women that walked in with Jim….she just wanted him.
Jim was giving Phyllis a hug when she tapped him on the shoulder. Jim spun around and was standing within inches of her.
“Hey you,” she said.
“Hey Pam, good to see you,” he said.
She hesitated slightly, but then motioned for a hug. Just like that, she was in his arms. He smelled so good, he felt so good; she could stay there like that all day. But then it was over. He was pulling away.
“We’ll talk to you later, ok?” he said. “I want to go say hello to a couple other people and then figure out where I’m sitting.” He gave her a faint smile, and turned and walked away.
She felt horrible for the rest of the day. She knew there was something wrong. Their greeting did not go the way she had hoped. Jim was way too distant. She had hoped she would see that familiar sparkle in his eyes, that familiar warm smile, but it wasn’t there. Sure, she enjoyed meeting Andy, Karen, Josh, Chip, and Donna, but she really just didn’t care about that. She needed to talk to him, alone. She tried to plot all day in her head how to get him alone that night, and they only idea she could come up with was to try and leave at the same time he did that evening.
It was 5:30 p.m. She had a hard time pretending that she was still working. She could see Jim; his back was to her over in far corner of the office, where Creed used to sit. That’s where they put all of the Stamfordites’ desks. Karen was still working at her desk too.
She’d finally reached the point where she couldn’t take it any longer. She closed down her computer and switched the phone system over to its recorded greeting. She grabbed her purse and coat and walked over to Jim’s desk.
“Hi Jim,” she said sheepishly, looking at the ground. He moved his eyes from his computer screen to look up at her. “I’m getting ready to call it a night. Are you still gonna be here a while?”
“Yeah, I’ve had some trouble getting my files transferred over and I want to get everything set up so I can come in tomorrow and just get right to work,” he said, sounding very detached.
“Oh, ok. Well, it’s just that, I was kind of thinking maybe I could buy you a welcome back drink over at Poor Richard’s, or something.”
“Um, thanks for the offer, but, I really think I’m going to be here a while. Maybe some other time?”
“Sure, sounds great. Well, have a good night then.” As she started to walk away, she turned back around toward Karen. “Nice meeting you Karen.”
“Nice to meet you too Pam,” Karen said. “See you tomorrow.”
It had been exactly one month since the merger. She hoped that with each day something positive would happen between her and Jim. He still hadn’t taken her up on that welcome back drink. He really hadn’t shown any interest in her at all. She didn’t know what to do anymore. She could clearly see that he was trying to keep his distance from her, but she just couldn’t accept it. She couldn’t stand the tension and she really needed to be alone with him, to just talk with him and clear the air.
It was just another day. She arrived at work, answered phone calls, took notes for Michael, faxed some paperwork, filed, stared at the back of Jim’s head, watched Jim tell Karen all the jokes that were meant for her. She passed the time by playing Solitaire, gossiped with Kelly, and tried to dodge Michael and his silly comments as much as possible.
Right before 5 p.m., Ryan sent out an evitation to the entire office saying that he and Kelly wanted everyone to get together at Poor Richard’s to celebrate the one-month anniversary of the merge and all of the company’s recent success. One-by-one, the rsvps flooded in, and everyone said they would be there.
The night out was fun. Everyone was in good spirits. Every so often, she’d glance over at Jim, who had sat at the opposite end of the extremely long table. When their eyes would meet, she’d give him the warmest smile possible. He’d smile back.
It was after 11 p.m., and the group slowly dwindled down to just Josh, Jim, Kelly, Ryan, Michael, and Pam.
“Well guys,” said Josh, “I’m beat. I’m going to call it a night.”
“I think we are too,” said Kelly, for her and Ryan.
“Well, I guess it sounds like this party is coming to a close,” joked Michael.
And with that, everyone was pulling money out of his or her wallets to pay the tab.
As they walked to the door, she knew she had to take advantage of the moment. “Um, Jim,” she said as she gently grabbed his forearm, “can I talk to you a minute?”
Jim looked at her as the rest of the group started to walk out the door. “Sure. What’s up?”
He continued to the door and opened it up for the both of them. “See you guys tomorrow. Have a good night,” he said to everyone as they headed to their cars.
She took a deep breath as she tried to remember all of the things she’d practiced over and over again in her head for just this moment.
“So, what’s up Pam? Everything ok? Need a ride home?”
“No, everything’s not fine Jim,” she said rather defensively, which she really didn’t mean to come out that way.
Jim cocked his head to the left a little and gave her a puzzled look.
“Look, Jim, you know that things have been weird between us. I can see that you’re obviously trying your best to ignore me and that you want nothing to do with me…”
He cuts her off, “That’s not true. I mean, I have been busy working you know and…”
Cutting him off, “I know you’ve been busy with your new clients and what not, but that’s not what I mean.” She took another deep breath. “I was really hoping that….things wouldn’t be like this. I know I screwed up big time since May, but I’ve apologized for that, and I don’t know what else I can to make it better. I want our relationship back…I was my best friend back….I want…I want…I just want you back.”
There was a long a pause. She didn’t break eye contact with him.
“Pam, I know you apologized to me, and I accept that apology. But, you hurt me. I laid it all on the line and you flat out rejected me. There’s no coming back from that.”
Pam opened her mouth to say something, “No, don’t interrupt me,” Jim snapped. “Look, after the night that I ki-, well, on the Casino night thing, I moved away and tried to forget about you. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do Pam, but I finally reached a place where I was meeting new people and feeling comfortable in my own skin again. Then, when they told us about the merger, I had to put up an even bigger wall around my heart because I knew that the moment I saw you that all of those old feelings would come back. I’ve been ignoring you because it’s the only way I know how to get over you.”
She had to fight to keep the tears from flowing. Her face burned and her skin tingled. It was now or never, she thought. “I’m sorry. That’s all I can say Jim. I’m not going to disrespect you and the boundaries you’re putting between us if that’s how it has to be. I hate this though, just so you know,” she said with the most passion she’d ever had in her voice. She looked down at the ground, “I’ve gone through a lot over the past eight months too. I’m a new person now, and I’m ready to move on and start over with my life. I desperately want you apart of it so, whenever your ready to let me in, just say the word. I need you too much to let you slip away again.”
“Pam…we can’t go back to what we were before, you know that. Too much has been said, too much has been done,” Jim said, as if he had to remind her about the tender kiss they shared.
“I know,” She had the biggest knot in her stomach, but she knew this was the time to finally tell him. In the sweetest, softest voice she said “I guess what I should have said is that I love you Jim, and when you’re ready to let your guard down, and let me in to your heart, I’m ready to show you how much you mean to me.” She wished she could have taken a picture of Jim right when she said that. The look on his face was of shock, surprise, sadness, and happiness. She gave him a sweet smile and turned to walk away to her car.
She was about 20 feet from him when she heard him clear his throat.
“I still love you. Just so you know,” Jim said softly. She stops, looked up at the stars, and felt a huge wave of emotion course through her. “I must not have put up reinforcements around that wall. You managed to just tear right through it,” Jim said.
She turned to face him. She smiled. He smiled. She walked back to him and put her arms around his neck.
“Thank you,” she said.
“For what?” he said.
“Just for everything,” she said.
She leaned in and gave him a very tender, soft kiss. His lips and the feel of him in her arms was everything she had remembered. Every shadow of doubt she had about her decisions up to this point had vanished.
He was the first to pull away from the embrace. “Hey, what do you say we get out of here?” Jim said. “I’ll drive you home.”
She smiled because she was pretty sure she knew what was in store for her that evening.
“Sounds great,” she said.
Author's Chapter Notes:
This is the first time I’ve ever tried writing a fanfic. I’ve really enjoyed reading everyone’s fics, so I decided to give it a try.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
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