Disclaimer: Still own nothing'.
Present
“Paa-aam!” A deep voice, somehow simultaneously sing-song and monotone, startled her awake for the second time that night. Her eyes were facing the clock as they snapped open, so she saw that it was exactly midnight. “Wake up, Pam.”
She recognized the voice. This, then, was a nightmare. “Kevin, why are you in my bedroom?”
“Heh.” Pam could make out Kevin’s customary creepy grin in the slight glow. The glow was emanating from Kevin himself, she noticed. “It’s not what you’re thinking, Pam, although that would rock. I’m not really Kevin. I’m the spirit of June 3rd Present.”
“Excuse me?” She must’ve eaten something weird to produce dreams like this. Not only that, but this was starting to sound familiar.
“I’m here to show you what is going on tonight. Then two of my fellow spirits will, uh…show you other stuff.”
Recognition kicked in. “You can’t be serious. That’s what going on? I’m Scrooge? I am not Scrooge.” Pam was highly indignant with her subconscious. She’d been a little bit cranky lately, but she wasn’t a bridezilla, and she certainly wasn’t Scrooge!
The Kevin spirit shrugged. “Come on. I gotta show you this.” He waved his hand toward where she still lay in the bed, covers pulled up to her chin. A sensation of falling captured her for a moment and then she realized she was standing in the middle of a crowded room.
It wasn’t a room, it was a bar. Actually, it wasn’t a bar, it was a strip club. Mostly unclad women were dancing on the stage, while others worked their way through the crowd. Pam felt acutely uncomfortable in such an environment, mostly because of her rather un-sexy jammies, although she knew she was invisible to the crowd.
“Cool place, huh?” The spirit was clearly not paying attention to Pam anymore, with all the other distractions around.
The music was loud and the place was hazy with smoke, but Pam had no trouble finding Roy. He was the center of a small crowd, uproariously laughing as a gorgeous blonde tried to tempt him with a lap dance, paid for by the rest of his buddies.
“Nah, none for me, thanks.” The guys jeered a little bit, laughing. Pam couldn’t help but smile, a bit surprised that Roy was passing it up.
One of the guys Pam didn’t know started giving him a hard time. “Your old lady’s got you on a short leash already, eh, bud?”
“Aw, hell no! I just don’t want this fine lady fresh in my mind on my wedding night. Don’t want the bride to suffer in comparison!” The stripper rolled her eyes good-naturedly while the guys roared in laughter. Roy was clearly joking…wasn’t he?
“Why did you finally cave in, anyway?” Pam was really starting to not like this guy, whoever he was. “You’ve been with what’s-her-name for years, right?”
“Yeah. I figured, why not? It’s not going to change anything but it’ll get her to stop worrying about it. And it’ll make taxes and insurance and stuff easier, especially if she gets knocked up.”
Pam felt a shiver of despair. It wasn’t as though she expected Roy to bust out with some romantic ode to her, but…she knew him well enough to know that he was a direct, plain-speaking person. If someone asked him a question, he answered it. He didn’t have the flair for sarcasm or verbal wittiness that …some people had, but his honest, simple way was very appealing. Except, of course, when he was talking about marrying you for tax purposes.
“It’s not going to change anything.” She repeated his words to herself, shivering again. Pam turned to the spiritual manifestation-thingy of Kevin, who was using his incorporeality to do something truly disturbing in the vicinity of a petite redhead on the stage. “Excuse me, can we go now?” she asked.
“Fine.” The spirit waved his hand again, and Pam felt the same falling feeling. Expecting to return to her own bed, she was surprised to find herself again standing in a crowd. She recognized this place; it was the bar area at the Chili’s in Scranton. She turned to ask the apparition why they had come here (since she assumed that her lifetime ban also included astral projection), but instead saw the answer. Kelly and Ryan were sitting next to her at the bar.
Ryan was quietly sipping a beer. Kelly was talking. This was not a surprise. “Oh, wow, tonight’s Roy’s bachelor party. You know that Pam isn’t having a bachelorette party? I offered to throw her one, but she said no. Isn’t that weird? I mean, I really think she needs to get out more. She’s nice, but she’s been so gloomy since Jim left. I guess it must be wedding nerves, but the timing is a little bit suspicious for her to suddenly get depressed, don’t you think? I think he had a crush on her, don’t you? Oh, my god, you don’t think that’s why he’s transferring to Stamford, do you? Wow, that would be weird. I mean, Roy’s all dependable and has dimples, and everything, but Jim’s way cuter. Not to mention how they have the same weird sense of humor. Jim and Pam would make a much better couple than Roy and Pam, I think. Of course, neither of them is as cute as you, Ryan. I’m having such a good time, aren’t you?”
Pam didn’t wait to hear Ryan’s response, if any was forthcoming. “That’s enough. Take me home,” she said shortly to the appearance of Kevin, who was grinning again.
“Yeah, OK. But don’t ignore what we’re showing you, Pam.”
“All I’ve seen is that Roy is faithful and dependable, and that people noticed that Jim and I were friends. Take me home, Kevin, or whatever you are.” Pam often used anger to mask her inner turmoil. Kelly’s words had shaken her.
Upset as she was, Pam was yawning as she found herself again in her bedroom. “Try to get some rest, Pam. My…colleague will be along shortly.” Kevin disappeared, and Pam sank into the bed, too exhausted to be afraid of what was coming next.
