Jim swatted at a mosquito as he pulled up weeds around the zucchini plants in the garden. He’d discovered a green thumb several years back and the money saved by being able to grow their own produce, at least part of the year, had the Halperts pretty darn close to set for a romantic getaway to Italy after Christmas.
The grandmothers had volunteered to take the kids for a few weeks.
“You two haven’t had more than a few days alone in 15 years,” his mother had pointed out. “You deserve a vacation.”
“Trust me,” her mother had warned, “Spend some time just the two of you before the kids leave home so you’ll remember how to do it when they’re grown.”
So late nights had been spent perusing websites, and listening to Pam tease him good naturedly about how, no, she was absolutely not going to hang on to the back of a Vespa, and how a grown man driving a Vespa, even in Italy, unless he was A) Italian and B) wearing white linen trousers and a partially unbuttoned shirt, was beyond ridiculous.
He had to admit, he couldn’t wait. He knew they’d miss the kids like crazy but the time that was just him and Pam was so rare, he knew it was okay to look forward to some privacy.
Before Jim could lose himself in a reverie of Italian fantasies, the back door opened and shut. Loudly.
“What’s up, Slammer?” He called out without looking up. Somehow his oldest couldn’t get the concept of closing doors gently through her head.
“Dad, Lila just called and invited me to the beach today. Can I go?”
Jim knew that tone. She wasn’t really asking.
He looked up. “With her family?”
She sighed noisily, exasperatedly, and blew her bangs out of her face. “Does it matter?” she replied testily, and the warning bells started to go off.
“Yes,” he replied, standing up. “Who are you going to the beach with?”
Cece rolled her eyes. “I don’t know. Thad and some other people from school?”
Oh, that teenage up speak. He wanted to send her to elocution classes every time she made statements as if they were questions.
But for now, there was a more important matter at hand.
“Who’s Thad?” Jim asked. “I’ve never heard of him.”
Again went the eyes. “Lila’s boyfriend?” And the up speak. “They’ve been going out for, like, six weeks.”
As he recalled, six weeks in teenage dating years was the equivalent to about five years in adult time.
“Is April driving?” He queried. April was Lila’s older sister, a rising college freshman who planned to live at home while attending Marymount. She’d baby sat for the twins a number of times, and was one of the few teenagers Jim trusted behind the wheel.
“No,” Cece replied snottily, “Thad’s driving. He’s a junior. He got his license in March. And don’t even say-”
“Nope,” Jim cut her off. “You know the rules. No riding in a car with someone we don’t know and no riding in a car with someone who’s had a license less than six months.”
Ever since an accident involving some students at Pam’s school last year, they’d been very strict about Cece and cars.
He knew they were probably being too careful, but even his brother Tom, in a rare genuine moment, had said: “It’s your kid, Jim. What are you going to do except try to keep her safe?”
“Ever since that stupid accident at Mom’s stupid school, you two have been psycho paranoid about driving,” Cece yelled. “It’s retarded.”
Jim crossed his arms. “Watch your mouth, young lady,” he warned, “and two kids died in that stupid accident and another one is going to be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, so our ‘psycho paranoia,’ as you call it, is merited.”
She scoffed, open mouthed.
Jim raised an eyebrow. “I’m about two seconds away from saying you’re not going to the beach at all,” he informed her, “if you don’t adjust that attitude of yours.”
“So what am I supposed to do,” she demanded, “if you won’t let me ride with Thad and Lila? Ride my bike there?”
“I’ll drive you to the beach,” he said. “You can take the phone and call me to pick you up when you’re ready to come home.”
The look on her face was a combination of about to throw up and a dead body just fell out of the closet. It was a look he had vague recollection of seeing on his sister’s face many years ago.
“No,” Cece screamed, shaking her head. “I am not having my dad drop me off and pick me up like I’m some infant when everyone else in the world gets to drive with their friends like normal human beings. I’ll drop dead of embarrassment.”
He so loved these moments of drama.
“No one ever died of embarrassment, Cecelia,” he informed her, his patience wearing thin. “Those are your options. I drive you or no beach.”
He knew he should tell her she couldn’t go, strictly on account of her behaving like such a brat, but frankly he wouldn’t mind her getting out of the house for a few hours at this point.
“You don’t care about me at all,” she screamed in tearful frustration. “I hate you!”
She flounced back into the house, slamming the door extra hard as her words hit Jim and settled in his stomach with a thud.
He felt kind of sick.
Author's Chapter Notes:
I want to apologize to my parents for every time I ever behaved as Cece does in this chapter during my teenage years.
Chapter End Notes:
Hey, she's a teenager. They're not always adorable.
