Author's Chapter Notes:
Disclaimer: I am in no way affiliated with the writers of The Office nor am I affiliated with Jenna Fischer or John Krasinski. No copyright infringement is intended.
Letting Jim just walk away was probably one of the biggest mistakes Pam had ever made and she knew that. Tears ran down her cheeks as she stood there alone in the parking lot. A few minutes passed and then she was startled by Jan honking at her. “Oh, sorry,” she mumbled, stepping out of the way of the car and waving as Jan drove off.
Gathering herself, she realized she needed to talk to someone, anyone. She knew she couldn’t talk to anyone in the office or Roy so she decided to call her mother. They were close and she knew a bit about the ‘Jim situation’. Entering the office, she darted for Jim’s desk and dialed her mother’s number. “Hi, mom,” she muttered into the phone, her voice shaky. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” That question had so many answers at the moment. One, she didn’t want to marry Roy. Two, she just broke the heart of the man she loves. And three, she had no idea what to do.
“Um, Jim just… uh… he just told me he’s in love with me.” She finally got the words out, not believing it as she said them. Honestly, Jim was such a great guy and he chose her. Out of all the women in the world, Jim Halpert chose to fall in love with her. “Oh, honey, isn’t that good news? I know you’ve always had a crush on him. The way you talk about him sometimes – you’re face just lights up.” She smiled. It was true. Talking about Jim or to Jim always put her in a better mood. He just knew how to make her happy without any effort. It wasn’t like that with Roy. She had to really try to love him. With Jim, she could see it just being easy.
“When did he say this?” She sighed checking her watch, “About ten minutes ago.” Nervously, she folded her arm across her stomach and started playing with the phone cord. “What did you say? Did you say it back?” Her mother asked. “No, I didn’t know what to say.” Well, that was only half true. She knew what to say, but she chose to say no instead. “Oh, wow. You probably broke his heart.” Thanks, mom, she thought. Like she needed guilt right now. “Yes, I know!” She said in an angry tone. “Don’t get angry with me. I’m just trying to help, honey.” She pauses, and Pam knows what question is next. “Well, Pam, do you love him?” She sighed because she didn’t know how to answer such a complicated question. “Um, I don’t know, Mom. He’s my best friend.” That part was true, but she knew she would never be able to admit to herself let alone her mother that she loved him. If she admitted it, or even said it out loud then it would become real. “Well, honey, he’s a great guy. And if a great guy loves you, you should take that chance. But ultimately, it is your decision. He is a great guy.” Everything her mother was saying was true, but she just couldn’t. She couldn’t let all those people down, including Roy. “Yeah, he’s great.”
“Well, now that we both agree on that, there’s only one thing left for you to decide. Are you going to marry Roy still?” Pam fell silent. She couldn’t tell which would be more of a let down to her mother; her leaving Roy for Jim or her marrying Roy. So, she went with the less messy decision. “Yeah, I think I am.” Then right as she made her decision, in walked Jim.
“Um, I have to go.” She said turning around to hang up. “Okay, take care, honey.” Her mother said before she hung up. “Okay, I will.” Placing Jim’s phone back onto his desk, she turned around and faced him. Sadness overcame her. Why did he have to find her? She couldn’t have the conversation again. Letting him down once was all she could take. “Listen, Jim…” she started to speak but was cut off by Jim’s embrace.
His touch sent a shiver throughout her body and before she could even oppose or comprehend what was going on, he pressed his lips against hers. Kissing him felt so natural. So much so that she didn’t even fight what was happening. Instead she reached up and placed her hands on the back of his head. Letting her fingers tug on his hair lightly, she pressed her whole body against his. The kiss broke for a few seconds, but it felt like years. Without any hesitation, she kissed him once more, letting her hands fall from the back of his head to his chest. She could feel his heart thud against his chest. It was a comfort to know that’s how she made him feel. But then the kiss broke and she was pulled back into reality. A reality in which she was engaged. A reality where her and Jim would never be together.
