He makes a big show of putting his money in the soda machine and pressing the button for the Coke, not allowed to speak until the soda is in her delicate hands. If he was anyone else, he highly doubts that he would play along with this childhood game, but he is who he is, madly in love with an engaged woman. The alternative to playing along is going back to his desk and doing work and that is far less appealing then watching her giddily await her soda.
So when the machine informs him that they are sold out of Coke, the choice to continue with this ruse is an easy decision to make. He knows that she is fiercely competitive and unlikely to back down. He knows that she’ll do everything in her power to get him to break and speak. But he also knows that this means they will interact far more than they usually do (which is already the bulk of their day) and any extra time he can spend with her is well worth not being able to speak for the day. He makes a show of disappointment for the camera, acting like this is bothering him, but deep down inside, he’s eagerly anticipating being the focus of Pam’s attention for the day.
He manages to zone out Kelly’s rambling, despite Pam’s insistence that he finish his conversation. And when Pam tries to trip him up with his story about a family member who got mixed up in the world of drugs, he thinks on his feet, pulling out the fake tears. At this point, he is pretty sure there is nothing that Pam can say or do that would make him talk. He is not going to lose this one.
It seems like they are always having these silly little competitions and an outsider would be surprised by how often he loses to her. Sometimes she legitimately beats him, like the time Michael took the whole office to play miniature golf. Somehow the two of them managed to break off from the rest group and she beat him fair and square. It came down to the last hole and when she sunk a hole-in-one, he didn’t hear the end of it for months. He saved the pencil she used to record their scores on that day and then later included in her Christmas gift.
Then there are the times when he lets her win just so he can see her gloat. On most people, gloating in unattractive, but not when Pam does it. When she does it, it’s adorable. That’s why on the day the two of them organized the Office Olympics, he let her beat him at Schrute Ball, or Skeet Schrueting, or whatever name they had come up with for throwing random objects in Dwight’s coffee mug. He was an avid basketball player and such an activity was easy for him, but he couldn’t help but let her have it, blaming his near misses on Stanley breathing too heavy or the flow of air from the vents in the ceiling.
If he’s being completely honest with himself, he’s tired of losing. Tired of losing to her at these silly games they play and tired of slowly losing her. June 10th is fast approaching and after that, the small glimmer of hope he has of being something more with her is gone. He’s sure that once she is Mrs. Roy Anderson, the dynamic between the two of them will change, but knows that is something he can’t handle. As a result, he’s been perusing the classifieds and online job sites for something new, but never takes the leap of actually applying. He figures the optimist in him will stick around until the big day just to make sure it actually happens. He wouldn’t want to risk leaving and then have the wedding be cancelled.
He watches Dwight walking around with what he is pretty sure is a coffee cup full of his own urine and so badly wants to draw him into something, but remains resolute in not letting her win this one.
It’s when they are alone in the kitchen that he starts to feel himself break. It had started out innocently enough, but escalated quickly. He’s not sure if it’s the pressure of not being able to talk to her all day or how adorable she looks when she is at her most competitive, but it’s out of his control now and he is completely inside of his own head, struggling with all he wants to tell her.
“What?” she asks him with a hint of mischief in her eyes. He shakes his head in response.
“Did you want to tell me something,” she continues, “You look like you want to tell me something.”
He shakes her off again, but his resolve is starting to crack. He wants to speak, to tell her how adorable she is when she is like this. Or maybe he’ll just lean across the table and kiss her. Technically he wouldn’t be breaking the rules in doing that.
“You look like you have something really important to say and you just [i]can’t[/i] for some reason,” she continues to egg him on.
He smiles at her now, careful to keep up the guise that this is all in good fun, but he’s thinking now of [i]the reason[/i] he can’t tell her all the things he feels for her. His eye catches a glint of light off that reason, a small diamond on her left hand from a man who could never love her the way he does, the way he could if given the chance.
“Come on, you can tell me. Jim, you can tell me anything,” she continues and this is his undoing. The smile leaves his face and he looks down, knowing that if he looks her in the eyes, he’s going to lay it all out there. He allows himself just a peek at her face and he notices her expression has changed from playful to serious and in his heart he knows she knows what he’s thinking.
He raises his eyes to meet hers fully, trying to convey without words what is going on in his head. However, he knows that even if she can tell with just a simple look what he is feeling, she will never acknowledge it unless it’s out there in a way that cannot be ignored. He knows this is his chance and it may be the last one he gets before June 10th arrives. He opens his mouth to speak but stops himself when thoughts of Roy’s fist connecting with his face invade his mind. She pushes her chair out announcing that she has to get back to work and he sees his chance slipping away.
“I’m in love with you.”
Author's Chapter Notes:
Millions of Schrute Bucks and Stanley Nickels to my awesome beta, Deedldee. She rocks. This is an AU that starts with "Drug Testing," and that's all I'm telling you. Intrigued? Keep reading!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter End Notes:
I'm going to duck and cover while you all throw garbage at me for ending this where I did. You know you love a good cliffhanger, so go review! I'm hoping to update this weekend.
