- Text Size +
*


*


You can't run away from trouble. There ain't no place that far. ~Uncle Remus



Pam had to leave Scranton, especially after what happened in the stairwell. Now it was her turn to keep a secret.


She was pregnant.


Five weeks along, in fact.


She hadn’t planned on lying to Jim. God knows how much she ached to tell him, ached to share this baby with him. But when he said his parents would “take care” of the child, she knew in her heart that the baby would be taken away from her. He came from a rich family and with money comes power. Who was she? She was a nobody. She would lose custody of the baby before she even delivered.


Pam refused to let that happen. She would never surrender her child to anyone. That was one thing she was resolute about. She was going to disappear and they would never find her or the baby.


After their conversation in the stairwell, Pam decided she was going to leave that night. She stepped outside and the early spring breeze, which should have felt comforting, scorched her cheeks. Pam called her friend Isabel, and without any preamble she told her she needed to leave Scranton. Pam didn’t explain why, but from the hint of hysteria in her voice, Isabel understood the urgency of Pam’s request.


“I just need to go, Iz. I can’t stay here anymore.”


“Why? Pam you’re scaring me? What’s going on?”


“Iz, is there anyone you know that I can stay with?”


“Here. At my house.”


“No! Somewhere outside Scranton.”


“What about Jim?”


“Iz, just… Do you know a place where I could go?”


“Did he do something to you?”


“No Iz… Just…Please?”


But Isabel came up empty handed and Pam sat perusing her phone for anyone who could help her.


“Excuse me,” she heard a voice say. She looked up from her phone and saw one of the warehouse workers standing in front of her.


She wiped her eyes and said, “Yeah?”


“I couldn’t help overhearing, but my brother is leaving tonight for Philly. He’s got an extra room; you can crash for a couple of days. ”


“Really?”


“Yeah,” he nodded. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind and you seem a little desperate.” He cleaned his hand on his pants and extended it to Pam, “I’m Roy.”


“Pam,” she said, shaking his hand.


“My mom is sick and one of us has to go down and help dad with the family business. Kenny drew the short straw.”


Pam nodded. Her eyes were wide and glistening.


“We’re not creeps, I promise.”


“No... I wasn’t... I wasn’t thinking that.”


An opportunity like that wouldn’t come again. This was the only chance she would get. She would be foolish to not accept his offer. She loved this baby more than anything and she wasn’t about to hand it to anyone on a silver platter.


“Okay, I’ll go,” she nodded. “But please don’t tell anyone about this,” she said.


“You’re secret is safe with me.”


Though it was almost impossible, Pam avoided Jim at all costs the rest of the day. The first chance she got she snuck out. She just couldn’t be….there. She needed time alone - time to come to terms with everything she was feeling.


She tried to make sense of things, but it was in vain. From the moment Jim picked her up the night before, she noticed that he was different – it was like a barrier had been built between them. And then, after she told him she was pregnant, it was as if she’d slammed face first on his barricade. You are just like them, Jim had said. Those words hurt more than the rest.


But it was too late now. She had made up her mind. She was leaving.


She walked up the stairs to her third-floor apartment, all alone. She let herself into her tiny home and began to quickly pack. Kenny would be there soon. She pulled clothes off hanger from the closet and from her dresser drawers. While pulling some clothes out of the dryer, she saw one of Jim’s T-shirts mixed in with hers. She stopped and looked at it. He had worn that shirt on their first date.


“I make the best grilled cheese sandwiches,” Jim said, walking towards her. His hair was in disarray and his clothes were baggy and crumpled. He still looked really good. But her eyes centered on his T-shirt: I’m a good kisser.


“Is that true?” She asked.


“Of course,” he said. “There is very little I can do in the kitchen, but my grilled cheese….”


Pam just smiled. She was talking about the message on his shirt. Never, not for one second, did Pam ever think she would be this smitten with a coworker. But from the first time he came up to her desk, she felt something between them. And now, at his house while he “cooked” her dinner, she felt that “something” bubbling at the surface of her skin.


She pointed to his chest. “I meant your shirt.”


“Oh,” he said, turning all kinds of red. He looked as if he’d just been sucker punched in the most pleasant way


Pam lifted an eyebrow. “Is that true?”


“Ummm… You’ll never know, Beesly,” he said with a gleam in his eyes.


Pam shook her head and pointed to his ipod at the end of the kitchen counter. “Do you have new music?”


“Yeah,” he said. “Definitely.” Jim took the iPod, placed one ear bud in her ear and the other in his, and pressed play. The music began playing and both began swaying. At one point Jim stopped moving and cupped her face, taking her lips softly, gently. The music played on, but Pam didn’t hear it. All she heard was the beat of her heart against his. Her hands curled around his neck into his hair and she was lost in the sensation that blocked all her reasoning.


When their lips parted, Jim took a long breath and rested his forehead against hers. She looked into his eyes and suddenly her world was looking a whole lot better. The T-shirt was right.



A car honked outside and it startled her. She looked out the window and saw the green pickup truck - it was Roy’s brother, Kenny. She grabbed her bags, and before she left the apartment, she took one long last look. This apartment had been her home for so many years. She would miss this place. But even if she didn’t leave Scranton, Pam knew she couldn’t live there anymore; Jim was everywhere. Tears slowly unleashed from the back of her eyes darkening the spots they trickled on her shirt.


She hurried down the stairs and met with Kenny. He seemed like a nice guy. He helped her with her bags and off they were. Philly would be okay for now, she thought. Perhaps when she had more time to think, she would come up with a plan, a better plan and go someplace else. She couldn’t think of herself anymore. There was a little heart beating inside her that was her job to protect.
***



If you ask Pam about what happened during the car trip to Philly, she’ll tell you that she only remembers getting into the passenger seat. She can’t tell you anything that happened before or after Kenny fell asleep on the wheel and crashed head-on into a tree. Now and again she’ll see snippets in her mind – sirens, ambulances, paramedics - playing out in short, broken images, but that’s all.


The news of the accident first reached Roy’s parents. They rushed to the hospital only to learn that Kenny had been pronounced dead at the scene. Roy’s father, Joe Anderson, thought his wife wouldn’t be able to take the news. The cancer had been slowly consuming her, but Kenny’s death would be the end of her.


“Mr. and Mrs. Anderson,” a nurse approached them. “I’m sorry about your son’s death, but the passenger survived.”


“What passenger?” Joe asked.


“There was passenger in the car.”


“Kenny said he was bringing a girl with him, remember?” Roy’s mother, Adele, spoke up. “I think it’s his girlfriend. Is she okay?


“She’s not awake, yet. But everything looks good with the baby.”


“Baby?” Adele said shocked. “She’s pregnant?”


“Yes. She’s a few weeks along.”


Adele began to cry. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard. Could it be true? A glimpse a hope amid this terrible tragedy? “That’s our grandbaby, Joe. That’s our grandbaby,” she exclaimed.


Joe looked at the nurse and back at his wife – his heart sank to the pit of his stomach. He gathered Adele to him, cradling her in his arms as she shed tears for the miracle that was growing in the young woman’s belly. But Joe knew that baby couldn’t possibly be Kenny’s. Kenny didn’t have a girlfriend. Kenny hadn’t had a girlfriend in years. But he wasn’t about to tell his wife this. For now, this flicker of hope would carry his wife through this awful tragedy. He was going to make sure that Adele held that for as long as possible.
***

As soon as Roy got the news of the accident he rushed to the Hospital.


“Roy?” Joe called when he saw his son walking down the hospital’s corridors.


“Dad,” he said quickening his pace.


They hugged and Joe released a tearful sob. “I’m glad you came.”


“Of course,” he said. “How’s mom?”


“She’s devastated.”


“Where’s she?”


“She’s in there with the girl.”


“Pam! Oh my God, is she okay?”


“You know her?”


“Yeah, I met her at work. She wanted to leave Scranton, so she took a ride with Kenny. How is she doing?”


“She’s doing okay,” Joe said. “She’s not awake yet. The baby is doing fine, though.”


“Baby?”


“You didn’t know she was pregnant?”


“No, I mean, she didn’t look pregnant. I want to go see her,” Roy said and began walking towards the room, but Joe held him back.


“Wait….” Joe said grabbing Roy’s arms. “You mom thinks she was Kenny’s girlfriend. She thinks the baby was his…”


“What? You know that’s not possible. Kenny is not into girls.”


“Yes, I know that. But I didn’t have the heart to tell her.”


“We can’t keep this from mom.”


“We have too,” he said sternly, “At least for now. Your mom is very sick. This is the only thing that’s keeping her going. I don’t know what will happen if you take this away from her.”


His dad’s pain and desolation was so rawly palpable on his face that Roy was suddenly struck with silence. As much as the idea of lying to his mother bothered him, he agreed to go along with it. But how long would it last? Pam would be waking up soon, right? Wouldn’t it be better to just… tell her now instead of waiting for her to imagine Kenny’s face on the baby?


Roy slowly pushed the door open and saw his mother seated by the chair holding Pam’s hands.


“Mom?”


“Roy!” She exclaimed.


“Oh mom,” he said.


“I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, pulling him to a hug.


He held his mom in his arms and it was only then that he understood where his dad was coming from. In the short few weeks that Roy hadn’t seen her, she had deteriorated. She had lost a lot of weight and looked very fragile and very weak. He couldn’t bring himself to break her heart by telling her the truth either.


“I’m here, mom. I’m here.”


Roy began thinking. He could extend this. Pam was vulnerable. She had nowhere to go. He could get her to stay and live with his parents. In exchange she would agree to go along with their little fib. Come to think of it, it was a good deal. She wouldn’t deny, would she? A place to sleep, food, and possibly a job… what else could she possibly want?


Roy could make this happen.


He had too.

You must login (register) to review or leave jellybeans