Jim Talking head- "Am I glad to be back? Well... I really missed this one person. Like a lot. You know what I mean? Life felt so.. empty without them. I missed the sound of their voice. I missed... his beautiful glasses and that calculator watch and the beets." *Jims at the camera*

------ Jim --------

No, fuck that. Like I'd tell the cameras anything.

I missed Pam.

I tried to put her out of her mind- I really did. The first thing I did in Stamford was hit the gym. No time to think about Pam when you're working out, I thought. Stupidly. A week went by, and work happened, and all of a sudden the nightly trips to the gym were replaced by all nighters sitting up in bed, just thinking. Thinking about her smile, her curves, THAT KISS. She haunted my dreams. Not even once did I reflect on much of a fucking creep I was being. Perving in my mind over a happily engaged woman. It was just.. unacceptable on my behalf.

Things generally got better. Weeks turned into months. I got to know my new coworkers. Andy, a Cornell graduate and avid Nautica connoisseur. Josh, the new Michael Scott- minus the Michael Scott and plus the ability to manage. And finally, Karen. We got to know each other well; especially after I realized it had been 2 months since I last had sex.

Scranton was disappearing rapidly in the rear view mirror. I rarely corresponded with anyone in the branch. Creed, oddly enough, sent me some stock market info and we sent emails back and forth for a few weeks- but that was it. After receiving 5 texts from Pam in the first 2 days in Stamford, I deleted her number. Didn't even look at the messages. It was too raw, honestly (that's what she said). I certainly wasn't in the mood for the "Hey Jim! How are you! Guess what Dwight did today!" banter bullshit she was probably sending. A dick move by me? Maybe, but what happens in Scranton stays in Scranton. Besides, Karen and I had starting seeing each other. It was just a bounce back, but let me tell you, she was a freak in-

*DING* New IM.

It's from Karen. I click out and go back to the Williams & Werchster sale I've been working on all day. 200 reams of 92-bright cardstock. Exciting shit, right?

Kevin- "Ohhh boy! You GOTTA check this out!"

And, just like that, Kevin is standing on a table.

Kevin- "GUYS, guess what I just got in my email?"

Oscar- "Kevin we don't care! Get down from the table."

Kevin- "Ohh no Oscar, you're gonna like THIS." *Kevin giggle* "Wait... you're gay. I.. uh.. you're not gonna like it."

Suddenly Karen's at my desk. "What do you think it is Halpert?" She whispers in my ear.

Angela- "For gods sake Kevin, just tell us."

I turn to Karen. "It's porn. Definitely porn." She laughs.

Kevin pulls a folded piece of paper out of his pocket.
"Why TELL you, when I can SHOW you?"

After struggling with the folds, he hastily opens the picture and shows it to u- oh, GOD.

Kevin- "Michael and Jan TOTALLY had sex."

It's a picture of Jan, naked, face down with Michael rubbing her back. On a Jamaican beach.

Behind me, Pam lets out one of those cute laughs she always tried to hold in. It lasts a second, then it's gone.

All of a sudden, Karen's back in my ear. "Maybe we should try that massage thing sometime, Halpert... my place, tonight?" 

Why not.

"I'm no Michael Scott but we'll see what my hands can do."

She laughs again, this time loudly. It's too easy.
--------------------------------------
Pam talking head- "Yeah, everything is going great for me! I've had a lot of free time to paint since Roy and I... you know. I'm very happy."

--Pam--

Ha, funny joke Pam. 'Happiness'. What is that.

Karen's back at Jim's desk. God, now she's whispering in his ear. Probably about the hot sex they're going to be having tonight. I'm.. I'm so pathetic.

And, right on cue, here comes Michael. 

"PAMELAAAA how are you doing today, my fair lady?"

Fuck my life.

"I'm great, Michael."

A crazy grin comes over his face and he motions for me to lean in. I don't.

"PAM COME ON, this is... essential." He whispers in a strained voice, barely containing a smile. 

"Michael, I'm really bus-"

He cuts me off, putting a finger to my lips and making a shushing noise.

Slowly, Michael draws close to my face and- "FPPLLLLFFFFFT"

Super loud farting noise right in my ear.

I look up, beaming, ready to laugh about this with Jim. In a split second I catch myself- my gaze resting on Jim's back (which might as be 100000000 miles away) and then passively down to my keyboard. Jim's gone, he's never coming back, and it's all my fault.

Just another day in the life of Fancy New Beesly.
-------
10:30; late enough to hit the break room for twenty minutes with the excuse of eating lunch. I quietly get up and walk towards the annex. No one pays attention to me- I'm just the lousy old receptionist, after all. The break room is mostly empty with the exception of Toby and the new temp (Cal? Nate? I can't remember his name) eating together at a back table.

I half expect a greeting from Toby, but he sits there with his head down furiously eating his sandwich.

"What's up Pam."

I turn in surprise to see the temp casually smiling at me. I walk over to the table before letting out a quiet "Hey" and sitting down.

Toby quickly stands up, while simultaneously muttering "Hello" under his breath. He stands there, frozen for a second, and then quickly exits the room.

"If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice."

What the hell. Out of fucking nowhere.

I don't say anything so the temp continues- "That... was too far. He was just telling me about Radon, and how it was the silent killer, and Jesus Christ I just wanted to kill myself." He ends it with a chuckle.

"I know EXACTLY what your talking about." I lean in to whisper to him, even though we're the only two in the room. "Toby is nice- SO NICE- but he's... just..."

"An evil snail?" The temp offers. We both laugh.

He leans away from me, and suddenly gets serious. "Hey... me and Jim Halpert- from sales -were talking. He's having trouble with his girlfriend, or something. I think you should help him."

Wait, Jim's having trouble with Karen?

"Jim? I hardly know him. Isn't he that guy obsessed with Battlestar Galactica?"

More like- hahaha better put up a front, because Pam Beesly can't show her true emotions to anyone.

The temp looks like he's about to burst out laughing, but in an instant the expression is wiped away.

"You know who Jim is. Talk to him about this; he needs a woman's advice."

This guy doesn't know how much I want to talk to Jim. More than anything. I canceled my fucking wedding for Jim.

*fake laugh* "Why me? What about Kelly, or Phyllis, or Angela?"

"Do you really think he's going to go to ANGELA for help?"

The temp, smiling, grabs his brown paper bag and rises to leave. At the doorway, he turns back.
"Think about it, Pam. Seriously."

After he's gone, I let myself smile. A real smile. Just thinking about talking to Jim is a rush. Feels good after months of anything but happiness.

I will think about it.