Alice: Yep. Today is my first day. The ad was very basic, very professional… I got here and my first thought was “Wow, this place is boring” But I am a college graduate with enormous student debt in need of a job, and they needed a receptionist.
“Dunder Mifflin, this is Alice,” I greet, catching Jim looking at me as I work at my desk.
He awkwardly smiles and goes back to work.
It’s my understanding that his fiancee had this job for years, so I get that he’s not used to seeing anyone else at her desk. And… From what I’ve heard she left to go work with their old boss? Who left to start his own paper company? I don’t know all the details…
“Dwight, can I see you in my office?” Charles asks, gesturing towards the inside of his office.
Oh, and, uh, Charles asked Dwight to help get me situated, so here’s hoping that goes well. In one of his routine trips to my desk, Jim warned me that Dwight has his own way of doing things…
“Hello, Alice,” Dwight offers his hand to shake. “Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager, Top Salesman, Beet Farmer, and, for today, Tour Guide.”
Jim: Dwight never includes all of his many titles in a simple introduction, I wonder what his deal is…
I shake Dwight’s hand, impressed by his many accolades. He grins, walking around me to lead me through the office. We pass the sales department, briefly stop at accounting, and go through the kitchen and breakroom to get to the annex.
Dwight: What do I think of the new receptionist? Well, not much, she’s merely Pam’s replacement. But I have to say, she could do well here. She’s already organised everything Pam left behind and she’s rather good at transferring calls for her first day.
Angela: I don’t see what the big deal is, she’s just a receptionist. I’m the head of accounting– which is a much harder job than filling a candy bowl and answering phones– but you don’t see me flaunting myself around the office…
Kevin: The new receptionist is hot. Way hotter than Pam.
“So, Assistant Regional Manager, what might a girl like myself do on a Friday night? I’ve never been to Scranton till I moved here-”
“How should I know? I’m not a young girl, I’m a man.” Dwight rolls his eyes at me.
“Right, you’re right. Sorry, maybe I’ll ask Kelly.”
“Don’t ask Kelly, she’ll suggest going to the mall and chasing after a lame temp who won’t return her calls. You don’t need to waste your time doing that. You might only be a receptionist, but have some self-worth.”
“Oh… Kay…” I start to walk away, back out to my desk.
“If I was a young woman new to Scranton, I might like Poor Richards, I guess.” Dwight offers as I leave the room.
Alice (slowly smiling): I don’t know what Jim was on about, Dwight is plenty nice, and a very straight-forward, honest person…
“So, Alice, I expect that Dwight showed you around the office, helped you get familiar with the place?” Charles asks.
I nod, “Uh, yeah,”
“Of course I did, Charles.” Dwight assures.
“Uh, you might not want to hear from me, but I believe Dwight still has more to show Alice?” Jim suggests.
“Oh, yeah, Jim, like what?” Dwight scoffs.
“The hidden jewels of Scranton?”
“Oh, no, that’s not-” I protest.
“Well, maybe that is a good idea. You do know Dwight best after all.” Charles agrees.
Dwight: Stupid Jim, wasting up my personal hours. Though, I suppose it wouldn’t be too bad to take an attractive young woman out for drinks…
Jim: Why’d I do it? Well, let’s just say I’m well versed in first day infatuations.
Alice: Dwight’s taking me out for drinks after work. I’m not complaining, he seems like a very interesting guy. This could be fun…
At the end of the day, I grab my coat and wait for Dwight, per his instructions.
“Follow me,” he suggests, walking out of the office without waiting for me to follow.
I catch the elevator right before it closes and we ride down in silence. Dwight walks to his car without a word, and I cautiously follow behind him. I catch Angela shooting daggers my way as she walks to her car. I quickly get into the passenger’s side while Dwight gets into the driver’s side and starts his car.
“What’s the deal with Angela? She gave me a dirty look earlier…”
“She’s jealous. She had a chance with me and squandered it, and now doesn’t like the sight of me out with a beautiful, much taller woman.”
My cheeks heat up after hearing him call me beautiful. I say nothing the rest of the way to Poor Richards.
Once we get to the bar, Dwight leads me inside, and I instantly take in the celtic vibes in the decor of the place. It’s plenty loud for a Friday night, with many groups of people throughout the bar.
Dwight walks up to the bar, not waiting for me to follow behind him again. I quickly walk behind him, trying to keep up. Holding two beers, he nods his head in the direction of a free booth for us to sit. He sits, sliding one of the beers across to me.
“Thanks, Dwight.” I say, taking the beer in my hands.
“This is Poor Richards. Nothing special. I hope you like beer, I didn’t bother ordering you a lame fruity drink with a straw.”
I can’t hold back a smile.
“No, yeah, beer is good. A drink with a straw would be bad for the environment, so…” I take a sip of the beer, tasting to see if I’ll like it. “This is actually really good, thanks!”
“You’re welcome,” Dwight nods, taking a gulp from his own beer. “Right over there, behind the bar,” Dwight adds, pointing. “Pam’s ex-fiancee Roy smashed this really well-crafted stained glass. He got angry after she admitted to kissing Jim. It turned into a whole big thing. I had to defend Jim with mace.”
“What?” I reply in disbelief.
“It’s a shame, that stained glass was a nice addition to this bar.” Dwight shrugs off the other details, drinking more of his beer.
Halfway through my beer, I decide to be brave.
“What happened with Angela? You said she ruined her chance with you–”
“Yes, she was sleeping with me while engaged to Andy. There was a duel, but in the end we left her to regret her decisions and became somewhat friends.”
“Wow,” I breathe. “I guess you have to entertain yourselves somehow in such a small town, huh?”
Dwight scoffs, offering to get me another beer. He returns with two more beers, sliding me a full glass.
“I’m sorry she did that to you... But why were you sleeping with her in the first place if she was engaged?”
“She loved me. She was engaged to Andy as a slight to me, to get back at me for euthanizing her very sick cat.”
I can’t help laughing.
“You have some crazy stories there, Dwight.”
“They’re all factual events–” I continue laughing.
“But Andy? That guy’s a lunatic, and I only met him for five minutes!”
“You’re correct. He’s dim and has anger issues. He’s a very simple man with no life plan. And a terrible salesman.”
“Y’know, Dwight?” I say, starting on my third beer in the last hour. “You’re a really funny guy.”
“Oh, ha-ha, did Jim make jokes about me back at the office?”
“No, shhhh–” I reach across the booth, placing my finger against his mouth. “You’re a really cool, funny, honest dude… And you think I’m beauty-ful,” giggle, leaning back into the booth.
“Oh, well, yes. You are, you’re an exceptionally beautiful young woman. I’d be foolish to not acknowledge you as such. You’re also a lightweight.”