Alice: So, Dwight took me to Poor Richards last week. It was… Nice. I got drunk, learned a lot about my co-workers…

Dwight: Alice is a simple lightweight. She gets drunk easily and acts accordingly. She got sloppy at Poor Richards. It was difficult taking her back to her hotel.

Dwight takes Alice to his car, helping her into the backseat.

“Woo - Woo! Backseat!” Alice cheers.

“Come on, girl. You’re not heavy, but you’re making this difficult.” Dwight grumbles.

“You’re so nice, Dwight.” Alice grumbles, facedown against the seat cushion.

Dwight: I would’ve let her stay in one of our guest rooms at Schrute Farms, but it would’ve been impossible to get any puke out of the mattress.

The phone rings, alerting me to start doing my job instead of staring over at Dwight and Jim.

“Dunder Mifflin, this is Alice.”

Pam comes in asking to see Charles. She starts begging for her old job back, but Charles tells her that I’m the new receptionist. I breathe a sigh of relief.

“Don’t worry about her,” Dwight offers. “She made the stupid decision of following Michael on his crazy whim. You’re the new receptionist, and you’ll be here to stay.”

Jim gives the camera a look.

Jim: I don’t think Dwight realizes it yet, but he’s becoming partial to the new receptionist, Alice. He took care of her after taking her out for drinks, he’s encouraging her to feel safe at her job… He’s got it bad for the receptionist. (laughs) I remember what that was like.

Angela: I don’t care, Dwight can do what he wants with her. She’s just a young girl who sits at the front desk and answers calls. If he wants to slum it, fine.

At lunch, I sit at the back table by myself, picking at the vending machine snacks I ordered.

“Oh, hello there, Alice.” Andy greets, sauntering over to my table and taking a seat, drumming his hand on the surface. “So you had fun with the Schrute-ster on Friday, huh? If you want to have a really good time we could throw back some brewskis. I was a major drinker in college, always drunk or hungover, I was a bit of a partier. Still aced all my classes though– straight B’s.”

I raise my eyebrow at Andy, not saying a word.

“Andy, stop pestering the receptionist. That’s Jim’s job.” Dwight says, walking in from the kitchen. “Vending machine? Terribly unhealthy. Didn’t you pack a better lunch?” I shake my head.

“I’m staying in a hotel, Dwight. You think I have groceries or the means to pack a lunch?”

“Yeah, Dwight!”

“Shut it, Andy. Fair point, if Michael were here he’d offer to take you out to lunch, but he’s not. I shall do it, would you like to go out to lunch?”

I can’t help the smile that spreads onto my face.

“Yes, thanks, Dwight!”

The camera catches the mix of expressions from everyone as Dwight and I walk through the office, out to the elevators. Jim gives the camera a surprised, impressed look.

Jim: Alice is a nice girl, and Dwight might actually have a shot.  

Andy: Dwight’s getting a lot of face time with the hot new receptionist, and I think it’s unfair to the rest of us. Isn’t it bad enough that he wrecked my marriage? And I thought we were becoming friends…

“Thanks for saving me from Andy. I had no idea what to contribute to that conversation.” I admit, laughing.

I glance over at Dwight as he drives, catching him smile.

“He’s terribly arrogant,” Dwight comments.

“Yeah… You’re not wrong there.” I agree with a chuckle.

“Dwight? Where’s Dwight?” Charles asks, emerging from his office, looking for Dwight.

“Uhhh,” Jim tries, spinning around in his chair to look at Charles.

“Dwight isn’t here.” Andy says. “He left, for lunch, with our very important, new receptionist.”

Charles nods.

“I see…”

Jim: Turns out, Michael has been scalping a bunch of Dwight’s clients. I guess he’s been too distracted to notice…

Dwight and I return to the office, laughing. Charles immediately leaves his office and stands near Jim’s desk, looking stern.

“What’s this, Dwight? You leave, unwarranted in the middle of the day? And you take the receptionist? What if I had meetings, or important messages that I didn’t get in her absence.”

My jaw drops as I look between Dwight and Charles. Dwight looks ashamed and flustered.

“Sorry, Charles. I had nothing for lunch and Dwight wanted to make sure I had something to eat to keep me productive. It’s really my fault.” I offer, hoping to take the heat off of Dwight.

Dwight turns his attention to me, immediately shaking his head, disapproving of my self-blame.

“No…” he whispers. “Charles, it was my idea to go out to lunch. I’m sorry I wasted valuable company time and kept her from her responsibilities.”

Charles hums indistinctly. Dwight and I share a worried look. Without another word, Charles retreats back into his office, closing the door.

“I’m so sorry, Dwight.” I whisper, trying to reach for his hand.

“It’s fine,” he assures, pulling his hand away from my reach and heading over to his desk.

Jim gives me a sympathetic look.

An hour later, I catch Dwight leave the office. I try to ignore it and continue my work, but there’s not much to do.

“Jim,” I whisper, catching his attention. “What’s going on with Dwight?” I ask, glancing at the door to the office again. “He’s not in trouble is he?”

“Well, he’s losing clients thanks to Michael, our old boss. I’m sure he went to meet with Michael and sort it all out. Don’t worry, he’s not mad at you.”

I smile in thanks and pretend to have work to do, waiting for Dwight to return.

The camera catches Angela standing by the copier, glaring at me.

Angela (scoffs): This new floozy, nearly costing Dwight his job. He’s got to be smart about this. What? Yes, that’s true, I did cause Dwight to quit briefly… And I did convince him to go over Michael’s head to Jan… (huffs) whatever.