“I have a confession to make.”

“Oh? What’s this? Wait! Don’t tell me. You actually like tuna fish sandwiches. No, that can’t be right. Oh! Oh! I know! You went out and bought an engagement ring last July! That’s why we had all those dates where we didn’t have to spend any money, like flying kites in the park or going to the beach.” Pam flashed an evil smile at Jim as the elevator doors closed and the car started heading up. “No, not even you are that sappy. Hmmmm, I got it! You’ve been pining after some wonderful but untouchable girl for years. A woman so devastatingly beautiful that the thought that you couldn’t be with her would send you away from the hometown you love as a sad, sorry, sodden, shadow of who you once were.”

Pam finished her speech as the doors opened on their floor with a wide toothy grin on her face.

Jim pursed his lips and nodded approvingly. “Bonus points for the alliteration there at the end.”

“Why thank you,” Pam circled her hand in front of her and mock-bowed as Jim unlocked the door to Dunder-Mifflin and let them in.

“Sadly though, none of those are correct. The real confession is that I actually wasn’t at the Y playing basketball with Mark while you were soaking in the tub last night.”

“My bath bombs drive you away?”

“Absolutely,” he agreed. “I also needed to come back here and arrange a few things.”

“Yeah?” Pam’s eyebrows raised in anticipation. “What things?”

“Things to do with this.” Jim reached into his suit coat and pulled out a white envelope.

“Hand delivered this time. I’m impressed.” Pam had a look of approval on her face as she glanced at the front of the envelope.

On the Sixth day of Christmas my office gave to me

When she opened the card and looked at the picture, she couldn’t stop the peal of laughter that escaped her mouth. Two columns of three pictures each graced the front of the card. In the top left corner Dwight was standing at her desk. In the bottom right corner, he was holding the feet of dead goose he’d just dumped on the reception counter. The pictures in between looked like still frames from a movie reel of Dwight bringing goose down on the desk. The Pam in the pictures also grew increasingly disgusted as the goose the made its way down. Pam kept a hand over her mouth to control her giggle fit and turned over the card.

Six geese a-flopping
Five teal teapots
Four calling phones
Three pointless meetings
Two Olympic doves
And a Dundie in a paper tree

She looked up at Jim who was smirking proudly. “You do realize there was only one goose last Christmas, right?”

“That’s why there are six pictures,” Jim pointed to each image in turn. “Besides, you try and think of something goose related that also ties into the office.”

Pam looked up and to the side for a moment and curled the side of her lip up as well. “Okay,” she relented. “I can’t think of anything else off the top of my head right now. But what does this card have to do with why you weren’t at the Y last night?”

“Well milady, if you will but observe.” Jim gently put his hands on her shoulders and turned her so she was facing towards Dwight’s desk.

“Oh ho ho ho!”

Pam’s eyes grew wide as the laughter bubbled out of her. All of Dwight’s desk supplies were either covered in double sided tape or had rubber bands wrapped around them. Attached to the tape or threaded into the rubber bands were small red and green craft feathers. Pam couldn’t hide the smile from her face as she walked over to inspect Jim’s handiwork.

“So, hold on,” she looked back at her boyfriend. “You spent three hours doing all this? I’m impressed.”

“I never really got him back last year for dumping that goose on your desk.” Jim walked over and fluffed up a few of the feathers looking quite pleased with himself. “I mean sure there was how I tricked him at the Benihana lunch we went on, but it didn’t feel the same as an actual prank. Then we watched Home Alone the other night and it got me thinking. In the first movie, one of Kevin’s traps was that he got Harry all covered in feathers. I thought, perfect! I’ll tar and feather Dwight’s desk!”

“There’s no tar here,” Pam had a quizzical look on her face.

“Tape and Rubber bands. T-A-R.” Jim pointed to each item in turn, his grin still fully intact.

Pam matched him smirk for smirk. “Oh, so pleased with yourself.”

“I am actually.” Jim stood in front of her and settled his hands on her hips. “None of his stuff is damaged in any way, I’ve created a more, shall we say festive ambiance to the office, and most importantly made you smile.”

“The trifecta, nice.” Pam nodded sagely before leaning up to kiss him.

They broke apart almost at once when they heard the door open. Creed ambled in without looking their way and headed for his desk. Knowing they needed to curtail any more overt displays of affection, Pam and Jim grinned at each other before separating to start their work day.

Dwight’s reaction when he arrived was nothing short of spectacular. Jim had been standing behind Pam’s desk, very legitimately preparing to fax a contract to one of his clients. He stopped that and put a hand on the back of Pam’s chair as Dwight started lecturing the office about misfeasance and hostile work environments.

“I am going to review the security tape, right now! Whoever violated my desk will be found and punished!” Dwight concluded.

At Pam’s desk, Jim opened her top drawer and surreptitiously withdrew a VHS cassette. “Does he mean this security tape?”

Long years of pranking stood Pam well and she kept her face straight as Dwight thundered past the desk. Inwardly though she was beaming at the prank Jim had pulled off. She looked up at him proudly after the door slammed behind Dwight.

“Come on,” Jim nodded towards Dwight’s desk.

Together they removed every piece of tape, rubber band, and feather which had been carefully arranged for easy removal. It all went into a plastic garbage bag that Pam kicked under her desk as soon as they were finished. Jim sat down in his chair and pulled up a spreadsheet just as Dwight walked in with Hank.

“It’s all right here! Clear and convincing evidence of damage to personal and company property!”

Hank looked at the desk Dwight was pointing towards and shrugged. “What’s wrong with it?”

“What’s wrong with it? Everything’s wrong with-” Dwight’s tirade stopped in mid-sentence as he looked to see he desk back in order. He all but ran to his desk and started pulling everything up in a vain attempt to find the feathers that had once covered the surface. “No! No! No! No! It was here! Feather’s everywhere!”

 “Call me back if you find anything.” Hank sighed and turned around to resume his post in the lobby.

“Michael!” Dwight stormed into Michael’s office, slamming the door behind him.

At her desk, Pam finally let her laughter loose. The double prank had worked perfectly. Raising her hand, she met the air-five Jim sent her way.