It's 1995 and 16 year old Pam thinks she has everything figured out. All she wants is to be an artist, find a nice boy to fall in love with, and continue to think that everything happens for a reason.
The summer after her 16th birthday everything comes crashing down. Pam's life as she knew it begins to change. The perfect cocoon of a life she had originally had begins to crumble.
Categories: Jim and Pam
, Alternate Universe Characters: Jim/Pam
, Inner MonologueWarnings: No Warnings ApplyChallenges: Another Decade
23380 ePub Downloads:
February 05, 2020 Updated:
June 09, 2023
Since I was in middle school, my journals have been the source of me figuring my life out. Based on what we see in the show (and how I imagine her growing up) I feel like Pam would have found a lot of comfort in her journal growing up as well. It's easy to think I remember how I was at 16, but I probably don't entirely. I've been rereading my old journals lately so hopefully I can really channel those emotions (so many emotions) that I had into something really great for Pam and show her development as a person as she grows older.
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
1. Saturday, March 25, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 7] 4 (776 words)
I'll be honest, I'm so happy I'm past these days. Sometimes I look back and think, "Wow, to be 16 and carefree again" and then I remember how it so wasn't and I'm glad we're out of that chapter of life haha.
2. Saturday, June 10, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 2] 2 (703 words)
It's fun remembering what 16 was like...
3. Monday, June 19, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 1] 1 (169 words)
This is obviously a short entry, but sometimes that's how real journals are.
4. Friday, June 23, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 1] 1 (707 words)
Yay for two posts in one night!
5. Sunday, August 6, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 3] 2 (683 words)
Pam is a bit dramatic, but weren't many of us at 16?
6. Thursday, August 10, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 4] 5 (396 words)
7. Friday, August 11, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 2] (1049 words)
Pam's first first date is one for the books.
In other news, I've been listening to 90's music on Spotify when I write this to really get into it.
Here's the playlist for those interested: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/37i9dQZF1DX3YMp9n8fkNx?si=qZjhKILTQsSv7QKAGqnVHA
8. Sunday, August 13, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 3] 2 (822 words)
A happier chapter than yesterday :)
9. Monday, August 14, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 2] 3 (494 words)
10. Saturday, August 26, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 3] 2 (1138 words)
I own nothing, not even the Judy Blume reference.
11. Tuesday, September 19, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 2] 1 (1249 words)
Upped the rating to T for mentioning alcohol usage.
12. Friday (night), September 22, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 5] 3 (501 words)
This is the second update I've posted tonight, so make sure to go back and read the previous chapter if you haven't yet!
I hope this flow and how some information is coming out makes sense. With journal entries, sometimes key information is missing that happened in our lives and it's harder to put the pieces together. That's what I'm attempting to do, but if it isn't coming across that well, please let me know in the reviews. :)
13. Thursday, November 16, 1995 by beth9501 [Reviews - 5] 2 (665 words)
My heart hurts writing this, but it must be done.
14. Monday, January 1,1996 by beth9501 [Reviews - 4] 3 (715 words)
I hope everyone is staying safe during this time!
15. Thursday, January 25,1996 by beth9501 [Reviews - 4] 1 (923 words)
I'm considering creating a series. Each story would be another year in Pam's life and then the chapter's within each story would be the entries for the year. It might help with ensuring this specific story doesn't have infinite chapters. Let me know what you all think!
16. Sunday, August 17, 1997 & Monday, August 18th, 1997 by beth9501 [Reviews - 4] 4 (1063 words)
A few things, I hit fast forward and now it's a year and a half later. You'll see why in a minute. :)
Also, combined two entries so the update would be a bit longer (and I was on a writing roll, what can you do?) I bolded the dates so you can find where the entries are separated easier.
Before you get started reading, a HUGE thank you to those who have been leaving me reviews, I know I haven't responded to them all, buy I've read them all and your kind words, encouragement, and overall love for this story is making me the happiest person ever. This community is amazing and I am so lucky to be a part of it.
17. Tuesday, August 26, 1997 by beth9501 [Reviews - 2] 1 (902 words)
Quarantine + a headache has me feeling like I don't want to do anything besides see how this story plays out in my brain.
Also, I posted an update on 4/12 so if you haven't read that one yet, you'll want to start there.
18. Friday, August 29, 1997 by beth9501 [Reviews - 4] 3 (878 words)
We're slowly, but surely making our way downtown [walking fast, faces pass, and I'm home bound].
Just kidding, we're making our way through Pam's life and I LOVE IT. So much better than Roy.
19. Sunday, August 31, 1997 by beth9501 [Reviews - 5] 3 (652 words)
No chapter notes :)
20. Wednesday, September 3, 1997 by beth9501 [Reviews - 3] 1 (470 words)
We're making progress!
21. Sunday, September 7, 1997 by beth9501 [Reviews - 6] 1 (723 words)
Things are HAPPENING
22. Monday, September 8, 1997 by beth9501 [Reviews - 3] (452 words)
A shorter chapter, but moving right along.
23. Sunday, September 28, 1997 by beth9501 [Reviews - 7] 2 (547 words)
Skipped a few weeks ahead.
24. Thursday, October 2, 1997 by beth9501 [Reviews - 6] (569 words)
Apparently it's been almost a month since I updated this? A short update is still an update!
25. Saturday, October 5, 1997 by beth9501 [Reviews - 5] (642 words)
Big things are happening!
26. Thursday, December 11, 1997 by beth9501 [Reviews - 5] 1 (566 words)
OOPS, been a bit!
27. Thursday, January 1, 1998 by beth9501 [Reviews - 2] (548 words)
Another month gone...so a short update!
28. Tuesday, February 10, 1998 by beth9501 [Reviews - 2] (425 words)
29. Wednesday, March 25, 1998 by beth9501 [Reviews - 1] 1 (786 words)
1) It's been over six months since I updated this if you all can believe it, but it's Pam's birthday so I thought an update was in order!
2) March 25 was also on a Wednesday in 1998
3) I researched March Madness for this fic. I'm not a basketball person so my knowledge ends here haha!
Edit: I thought it was Wednesday. Apparently it's Thursday? I think it's funny so I'm keeping this in :'D
30. Wednesday, April 14, 1999 by beth9501 [Reviews - 6] 5 (429 words)
Honestly though how has it been over a year since I updated this story. How have I been writing this since PRE-COVID. Someone explain because the math isn't mathing in my brain. Anyway, I've missed you all and even if this is shorter and long long overdue, I never want to stop this story.
31. Friday, June 9, 2023 by beth9501 [Reviews - 1] (526 words)
The end of an era...
Three years and four months later I'm officially closing this story.
This was my favorite story to write on MTT and one that I came back to when I felt I was in a writing rut. When in doubt, I could churn a chapter out :).
Thank you to those who have continued to read this story. I recall (prior to signing up for an account on here) reading through stories that were years long and wondering how people did it. Turns out, it doesn't feel like effort if you love your story. For me, I channeled my own feelings I had as a teenager into Pam's story. At some point over the last few entries (which is probably a year and a half ago) I realized I didn't know what else to say. There's only so much I felt she had left. Then today I saw I hadn't updated in a over a year. It didn't feel right to leave it so today it's marked as completed.
All that to say, I'm sorry if this was your favorite story, but thank you for reading!