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5 Reasons Kelly Wants Jim Back, as Excerpted From Her Super Private! Diary:
[Well, Private! except for that time Ryan was mean and she wrote an entry entitled “Ryan Is Mean!” and left it open to that page on the table and went to the bathroom for 10 minutes, but when she came out Ryan was just sitting there reading her Cosmo and on the phone and her diary wasn’t even moved at all. He sooo respects her privacy.]
1) “Toby was out sick today! Michael tried to throw a party but Angela stared at him until he went back into his office. I should totally lend her some of my new plumping lip-gloss, because when she gets all mad like that, her lips just disappear. I read somewhere that you need to spend like, an hour a day puffing out your lips to make them just delicious. And then you don’t need to get surgery and look all weird like Jessica Simpson. I feel so bad for her! I tried pushing my lips out around the office one day, but Jim said I looked like a fish. Jim should come back. He could sit by me like that one time, and then I would have someone to talk to on days when Toby is gone. Or Jim could come back to his old desk and then Ryan could move by me! That would be awesome. Ryan looked at me TWICE today…”
2) “Grey’s Anatomy was sooooo good tonight. Sometimes I wish I was a doctor, so all the other hot doctors would have crushes on me. AND they can still, like, cut brains in half (ewwww!) while they’re flirting with whoever their crush is that week. I don’t think that would work at the office. That’s why it is so good that Ryan and I have real love. I think Jim had a crush on me once. I was the rebound crush after Pam, so it would never work, but on that day that Dwight went crazy with the drugs, I was talking to Jim and he didn’t say anything, but looked at me. It was kind of like that look McDreamy gave Meredith while they were doing CPR on that guy! Jim should come back and look at me that way again while Ryan is in the room, and then Ryan will get all jealous and punch Jim and then grab me and we’ll go make out in the elevator. I tried to kiss him in the elevator today, but it didn’t work. Stupid Kevin ruined it…”
3) “I had a meeting with Meredith this morning, and it was SO sad. She looked really tired, and I think she had been crying because her eyes were all bloodshot. She said she just had a headache, but I know the truth. She needs some love!! I cried all the time before Ryan and I fell in love. It’s okay if you cry after you fall in love, I do it all the time, but crying because you are alone is just sad. I would set her up with Oscar, but he is too busy being awesome and gay. He is like the gay hot English guy to my Julia Roberts. Maybe I could set her up with Toby! They would have soooo much in common because they both have kids. I wish Jim could come back, because he is so GOOD at making love matches. He is responsible for the LOVE of Ryan and Me. I told Ryan that once, and he said he would have to thank Jim later. Oh! I hope he did thank him before he transferred, it wouldn’t be fair if he left before knowing how much happiness he caused. I should call Ryan now and ask him…”
4) “I think I figured out why Pam and Roy broke up! Pam FINALLY came over to have a girl’s night, and I got down to asking her right away. I mean, you should be able to tell your best friend everything! She kind of mentioned someone else after I asked her a million times. I totally know she was talking about Jim, and she would have told me all about it, but then she remembered that she was going to show me how to French braid my hair in a cool new way. She put a ribbon in it! Jim should come back and I’ll make it my #1 job to get them together! And then they’ll fall in love and get married and I’ll be the maid of honor and wear that strapless pink dress I saw I Pam’s bridal magazine from her first wedding. But I wouldn’t mention where I saw it, that would be tacky. And Ryan could be my date! No wait!! What would be even more awesome is…”
5) “…Jim needs to come back and I will help him and Pam fall in love, and then them and Ryan and I would go out on double dates allll the time. Ryan and Jim would be best friends, and Pam and I would be best friends, and then the boys would both propose and we would have a DOUBLE WEDDING. It would be even bigger than when Princess Di got married! And then, we would go on our honeymoons together, and have babies at the same time, and our babies would be friends too. And we would be like, Aunts and Uncles. Their babies would call us Uncle Ryan and Aunt Kelly, and OUR babies would call them Uncle Jim and Aunt Pam. That would be the greatest! Jim really, really, really, really, really needs to come back. STAT! Grey’s Anatomy was soooo good again tonight…”
