After the worst Thursday in Jim's life came a new day, that gave him the first revelation.

Apparently, miracles could happen. 

He felt like he was inside of a live-action version of his favorite dream — or a teaser of what might have been. He was going home with Pam, and she smiled at him, bantered with him; and later, she was sitting in his kitchen, sharing a meal he had prepared, and her ring finger was bare — and Jim caught himself on glancing at that exposed patch of skin more frequent than he would care to admit. 

Of course, in his dreams, she wouldn't stay on the couch, and it would be Mark who would complain in the morning… no, scratch that. There was no place for Mark in his dreams. 

The second revelation hit him at the moment when he closed the front door after her, almost begging her to keep him updated — it was the least he could ask for since she had made clear that she wasn't going to stay. Pam Beesly, his best friend, the love of his life (that thought scared him a little bit, but the last events had just proved that she wasn't just a crush) had a significant part of her life he had a very vague idea about — or, to be precise, the part of the life he had carefully chosen not to know about. It was his biggest mistake that had almost cost him everything; he wouldn't repeat it. 

Mark and his girlfriend emerged from their love nest long after noon. Jim was silent while Mark's girlfriend was around, but when she left, he said everything he was thinking about excessive vocalizations, privacy, and consideration. Mark was half-listening to his rant, and after demanding information about the mysterious 'couch girl'; Jim reluctantly told him a little about Pam's situation. 

'You know,' Mark smirked, 'if you invited that Pam girl into your room and comforted her just like you should have done, we wouldn't have this conversation right now.'

His roommate was such a pig sometimes. 

Jim spent his Saturday anxiously pacing, desiring to call Pam, but the remains of his common sense held him back from that. Probably, today Pam had a talk with Roy; it wouldn't do her a favor if, in the middle of a definitely fierce conversation, she received a call from a guy. No, as much as Jim hated it, he had to wait. Pam had promised to call. She would keep her promise. 

So, when his phone started to buzz in the middle of the night, barely awaken Jim felt the elation (she was calling!) and dread (oh God, what had happened?).

'Hello? Hello? Pam?' he asked hastily and heard a laugh. 

'Rise and shine, sweetheart!' 

Jim fell back on his bed, groaning in frustration. 

'Larissa, what the hell?'

'Aww, look who's talking! Wanna me to refresh your memory, drunky?' 

Well, Jim should have known that he wouldn't get away with that call easily. 

'Why do you sound so chipper at,' he squinted his eyes at the clock' four in the freakin' morning on Sunday?'

'A magician never reveals her secrets,' Larissa declared proudly. 'So, care to share what made you that drunk? O! Let me guess, her name is Pam, right? So who is she?'

'No one,' exclaimed Jim, embarrassed with his sister nudge. 'Just a girl from the office.' 

'Uh-huh,' Larissa said. 'So, are you in love with every girl in your office, or is there something special about this particular one?' 

'It's none of your business,' Jim replied curtly. 

'Okay. So, you don't want it to be in a good way. I got it. Then it'll be in a bad way.' 

She cleared her throat, and her voice changed its tone from mocking to disturbed.

'Mom, I'm worried about Jim. He called me, and he sounded so depressed — I've never heard him in such a terrible condition. I think he has a problem with a girl. He even started to drink, mom!' 

Jim completely forgot that just a few days ago he had intended to seek his mother's comfort. Now, he was terrified of her impending intervention and all the awkward questions and uninvited advice he would receive. 

'You won't dare!' he exclaimed. 

'Try me!' she chuckled, and Jim knew that he had lost this battle. 

'Okay, what do you want to know? And, before you answer — are you sure you want to know it right now and not in, I don't know, eight hours or something?' 

'Nope,' Larissa answered. 'I'm fine with 'right now.' So, spill the beans, Jimmy!' 

'Well,' Jim started. 'There is a girl, Pam, who I kinda like…'

'You used a different L-word!'

'Hey, if you are going to interrupt, I'll stop right now!' 

'Sorry, sorry. Please, proceed.'

'So, this girl said to me she was going to move out abroad for a new job. And I… overreacted. End of story.' 

'Wow,' said Larissa. 'That's harsh.'

'Yeah,' Jim agreed. 

'But,' she said then, 'if I knew you well — and I knew you well — I'd say you sound quite happy for a guy whose crush is moving out. I'd even say you're grinning like an idiot right now! Something doesn't add up. Jim?' 

'What?' 

'Jiiiim?'

'Okay, so, apparently, she stays.' 

'Yay!' Larissa shrieked cheerfully, and Jim winced at the sudden noise. 'So, when am I going to meet her?' 

'Um, never?' Jim answered. 

'Okay, when is our mom going to meet her?' 

'You are repeating yourself, Larissa,' Jim smirked. 

'Come on! You know that I have the high ground!' 

'You underestimate my power!' he responded in his best Skywalker's impression. 

'Don't try it!' she laughed. 'Jim, you've never been shy about girls. What changed?' 

'What do you want me to tell you, Larissa?' Jim sighed. 'She's a friend, she's a girl, she's in trouble, and I have some… non-platonic feelings for her. That's all.' 

'Hm,' said Larissa. 'What kind of trouble?' 

'Ummm, she kinda broke up with her boyfriend.'

'Kinda?'

'Well, she doesn't wear her engagement ring anymore.' 

'Engagement ring?!'

'Okay, not boyfriend, fiance. Whatever.' 

'Wow. When did that happen?' 

'On Friday,' said Jim, his head spun all over again from the memory of Pam's update that had shaken his world. 

'So, on Thursday, she was ready to leave, and on Friday she wasn't,' Larissa summed up. 'Wow.' 

Jim didn't answer, grinning involuntarily. 

'Jim?' Larissa called him. 

'Hm?'

'Just… don't be a vulture, okay?' she said unexpectedly serious. 

'What?' he didn't believe his ears. 'Larissa, who do you take me for? I'd never take advantage of any girl, not speaking of Pam!'  

'I know,' said his sister. 'It's just… I know you, and sometimes you turn on your' knight in the shining armors' mode and endeavor to save everybody. And if you try to save that Pam girl from her troubles, well… she might respond to your feelings, but it will be born out of the feeling of obligation more than anything else. I'm sure it's not what you want.'

'So, what are you proposing to me to do?' Jim still didn't process the fact that he asked his younger sister for relationship advice. 

'Nothing,' he almost saw as she shrugged. 'Just be her friend and try not to smother her with your care.' 

'Okay, I'll think about it,' he said, hoping that his response would satisfy Larissa's curiosity and help him to get rid of her and have some sleep. 

'You'd better,' she chuckled. 'And keep me updated, Jimmy-boy!' 

'Good night, Larissa,' Jim mumbled.

'It's rather 'good morning,' but thank you!' Larissa said. 'See ya!' 

She disconnected, and Jim finally could have a sleep, but his half-hearted promise somehow kept him wide awake. 

What did she mean by that 'smother with care' after all? His brain instantly brought an image of his mother with her cooing and constantly worried expression, but he brushed that off. Of course, he had no intention to be like that. No, he was going just… to ask questions about her living. To help her if she asked to. To offer his help if he thought she needed some. It was nothing, honestly. It was something that he'd do for anybody in need. 

His traitorous brain instantly painted a picture of Angela in distress, asking for help, and he thought reluctantly that, in real life, he'd try to get rid of her as quickly as he could. So, maybe, he wasn't as chivalrous as his sister got used to thinking. 

But Pam was a different case. She deserved to be looked after; he doubted that she had seen a lot of care in the last years. Heck, she had been grateful for hastily prepared dumplings! And he was capable of much more than a ready-to-cook dinner. 

Jim indulged himself a few moments of dreaming about all the things he could do for Pam and regretted once more that Pam had been so insistent on her wish to leave that soon and hadn't stayed in his apartment for longer; he regretted that he hadn't found arguments to persuade her. Certainly, Pam's word would be the final; but sometimes he thought that not all of her decisions would be for the better. She had been with Roy for so long, after all… 

The thoughts were moving back and forth, and Jim gave up on sleep. The pleasant fantasies alternated with frantic and desperate thoughts; he was good at elaborating complicated plans, but now he had no idea how to cross the line between friends and lovers. Jim almost hated himself for pondering over this question so soon. The pain that started to form in his temples didn't help his thinking process, and Jim grimly thanked Larissa for her contribution to his suffering.

The whole day went in a daze; at the end of it, after a dose of painkillers that barely tamed his headache, Jim went to sleep. He worried that Pam didn't call, still felt anxious about the future, but, somehow, along with all of that, he felt a tingle of hope. Pam wasn't going to throw herself at him, that wasn't even discussed, but she was still his best friend. For now, he had to be satisfied with it; and later, when Roy would be anything but an impending threat… maybe, she might find a place for him in her heart.

That hope crumbled a little on Monday when Pam arrived at work pale, with bags under her eyes and wearing the same clothes that she had had on Friday. Jim glanced at her with unhidden concern, but she just shook her head as to say 'not now.' After that, she immediately busied herself with phones and papers, and Jim had to obey her wish. 

The rest of their coworkers, however, weren't as delicate to her feelings as he was. Phyllis smiled at her knowingly and commented on her outfit in a hushed tone that made Pam half-embarrassed, half-mortified; Angela couldn't stop to give Pam the death stare; Dwight conducted another investigation about Pam's state and was satisfied with her assurance that there hadn't been any worsening in her condition all weekend. But Kelly surpassed them all, catching Pam in the kitchen and keeping her for, at least, fifteen minutes. When Pam finally emerged from the kitchen, her expression was blank, and she never left her place. 

It was Kelly who shed some light on Pam's troubles. She returned from her lunch, terrified and excited at the same time, and went straight to the reception. 

'Oh my gosh, Pam! How are you keeping?'

Jim instantly was all ears. 

'Darryl told me everything! That's horrible! I'd never say these things about your outfit if I knew! Roy is such a jerk, I've never ever thought he could do something like that! Why haven't you dumped his sorry ass sooner?'

The more Kelly spoke, the paler Pam became, and Jim's heart squeezed with more force. He should have known that the men like Roy were capable of any misdeed toward people who dared to slight them.

Jim knew that there were good ways to break up — Mark was an expert in that. In all his relationships appeared the moment when he or a girl he was seeing at that moment said something like 'this was fun, but let's just be friends.' Surprisingly, in most cases, he saved the friendship. 

There were terrible ways to break up; the only serious relationship Jim had ever had had ended up that way. The initial infatuation with a pretty classmate had ceased, and he had openly been weighed down with a dead-end relationship, but Jim hadn't had enough courage to finish it. And then there had been that terrible party when their mutual friend had proposed his girlfriend and his own girlfriend had made a few not-so-subtle hints, and Jim had found himself blurting out 'Let's break up.' The party had ended with his ex in tears and him feeling like an ass; no need to say that since then, he had gotten quite a reputation among his university friends. 

Apparently, there was also the way the men like Roy showed that the relationships were over. And, if all that Kelly was speaking of was true, that way included throwing all the belongings of the ex out of the window; Jim was terrified to imagine what else it could consist of. 

Kelly finished her speech, hugging Pam compassionately and promising to take her next time she'd go shopping. 

'You should totally wear brighter colors, Pam. I know that amazing thrift store, no one will suspect that the clothes aren't from a boutique. I'll make you look like candy, and it'll definitely cheer you up!' 

She went back to the annex then, and Pam remained glued to her chair, hiding her eyes from other coworkers. Luckily for her, Dwight didn't return from his break; otherwise, she wouldn't be able to avoid even more embarrassing questions and presumptions. But it was a shallow relief. 

Jim couldn't take the silence any longer. He typed on his keyboard almost violently 'May I talk to you?' Pam didn't raise her head to look at him as she did every time he sent her a message. His knee bounced nervously under the desk, and when he finally received a short 'Okay,' he practically jumped from his seat and stormed off the office. He was pacing back and forth in the stairwell, waiting for her; after endlessly long four minutes, she showed up. 

'Are you okay?' was the dumbest thing to ask, but it nevertheless escaped his lips. 

'No,' Pam said after a while. 'But I'll be fine.' 

She offered him a watery smile and added. 

'Those were just material things, after all. They could be replaced.' 

Blood rustled in Jim's ears at the sight of her, so passive, fragile, and so unhappy. His loathing towards Roy grew unbelievably high. 

'Did you press charges against him?' he muttered through clenched teeth. 

'No,' she shook her head. 'And I won't.' 

Jim couldn't believe his ears; he felt the ground moving from under his feet. She couldn't return to Roy, right? Could she? The wave of panic and fear engulfed him, and his knees were suddenly weaker. He leaned to the wall, taming his sudden shivering. 

'What? Why?' Jim stared at her with widened eyes. 'Pam, why do you still defend him?' 

The corners of Pam's mouth twitched, and Jim was briefly glad about a vivid emotion on her face, even if it was anger. 

'I don't defend him,' she said with a warning in her voice. 

'Then why…'

'Do you have any idea what police would say if I called them?' Pam snapped. 'I tell you. They'd say 'it's none of our business to resolve love quarrels' or even 'call back when the serious crime is committed.' And even if by some strange coincidence they arrested him, it would only make things worse! The notification about it might affect his visa, and if Roy loses his precious new job because of this incident…' 

She caught her breath and added calmer.

'Look, Roy has already signed his resignation letter. He has to work here just a week and when he'll be gone. And I just want it to be over, so I'm not going to make things more complicated.'

'But it's unfair for you,' Jim whispered. Pam smirked humorlessly.

'As well as life in general.' 

She left then, but Jim stood motionlessly for a while.

At the end of the day, he casually lingered at the reception. It wasn't Tuesday or Thursday, but the circumstances had changed significantly. 

'Are you ready to go, Pam?' he asked cautiously. 

Pam sighed and shook her head. 

'I had to finish Michael's papers, so…' 

'Oh, okay. I'll wait for you then,' said Jim, slightly discouraged. 

'Um, I think it'll take a while, so you should probably go. Besides,' Pam smiled with a shade of mischief, 'I won't forgive myself if you miss the new episode of 'Lost". 

'Oh, you mean that you won't forgive yourself if you miss the update on 'who does Kate end up with'?' despite his worried state, Jim smirked. 

'You're on to me,' her soft voice and another smile made his heart fast at its rhythm. 'Have a nice evening!' 

'See you tomorrow,' Jim said, waving her goodbye. He kept grinning on the way out, but little by little, his smile faded. He saw Pam's face before his eyes when she had been speaking to him in the stairwell, so resigned, so pale and stricken — he hoped he would never see her like that again. She had said 'just material things,' and Jim hadn't believed her for a moment; he knew her too well. There was her lucky cardigan she had worn the day she had gotten the job in Dunder Mifflin and the day they had met. Had it ended up in a trash can? Her favorite books, her sketches — had they been destroyed with slush, or had she saved them? And how many other dear and memorable belongings had become a loot for hobos or had turned into a meaningless junk? Of course, Pam would have said that they hadn't been a big loss, but he knew she was grieving about them. Perhaps, even more than about the break-up with Roy. 

It was the other thing that kept his thoughts swirling wildly. That bastard had crossed all the possible lines. Not only he hadn't made the greatest woman in the world happy and had treated her like shit, but he also couldn't have accepted her rejection like a man. And the worst part — he was going to get away with it. It wasn't fair. 

Well, Roy Anderson had always been the personification of the word 'injustice,' but now it added even more layers, hues, and shades. He became a granite statue, looming over the heads of people like an old Soviet monument, repressing and coarse. 

Jim felt an ache to overthrow it and to break it into pieces. 

This ache grew stronger the next day when Pam was even more wretched than the day before. Somewhere around lunchtime, Pam received a call on her cell phone and went to answer it out of the office; she returned fifteen minutes later and went straight to the bathroom. Jim did his best not to rush after her; when she returned to her workplace, the rims of her eyes were red, and her face was slightly blotchy. She gave him her usual small smile that said 'it's okay,' but it wasn't enough to calm him down. He wanted her big, toothy grins to return; the ones that said 'that's awesome' and 'I'm happy.' But Jim didn't know how to fix that, and it drove him crazy. 

So, when he came to work on Wednesday and saw Roy's car on its usual spot, it was the final blow for him. He was tired of passivity and humility; the crime shouldn't be left scot-free. And then appeared the idea of how he could restore some justice. It cleared his mind from the fog of doubts and uncertainty. 

Jim spent half of his lunch break in the hardware store, and the other — in the storeroom, where he twisted pieces of thick wire and nails into the skew caltrops. He hid his crafts by all of the tires of Roy's car and returned to the office; he didn't remember when he had felt that peaceful the last time. 

Perhaps, he wouldn't overthrow the monument, but surely he'd make a hella good scratch. 

Jim was on the phone with a customer when he heard a loud bang of the door. Pam, who was making copies, flinched and looked at the entrance; the frightened expression instantly reflected on her face. 

'What the hell, Pam!?' he heard Roy's roaring before he saw him, stomping wildly toward Pam, who moved back now numbly. 

Jim dropped the phone and was on his feet before he could realize what was actually happening. He jumped to Roy in an attempt to shield Pam from him. But, somehow, Dwight was there first. His right hand made an almost imperceptible movement under his desk, before he stood up, pushed Pam back, and sprayed something wicked right into Roy's face. 

That also meant that the tad of pepper mixture filled Jim's eyes and nostrils as well. 

'Dammit, Jim!' he heard Dwight exclaim along with Roy's cry and cursing. 'I've had everything under control!' 

Jim's eyes burned so much, he could see nothing; he pressed his palms to the sockets to ease the extreme irritation. He could only imagine that hectic that swirled around the office. But then Jim felt something wet pressed to his face; he grabbed the piece of soaked fabric instinctively, and his fingers brushed the smaller hand. Jim rubbed his eyes furiously, trying to get rid of the remains of the pepper spray. When he finally could open his eyes, the first thing he saw was Roy, kneeling on the floor before Pam. He was pressing his hands to his face, howling from the pain. And for the briefest moment, Jim imagined that it was the tears of remorse; for the most fleeting moment, Jim was satisfied. But then he looked at Pam, and his heart sank. 

She looked at Roy with horror, clutching another wet cloth, too scared to hand it to her ex-fiance; the water droplets ran through her fingers and fell on her boots. Jim suddenly found out that he couldn't take his eyes from that dripping. 

Somehow, when he had conceived his plan, he hadn't thought that it could backfire on Pam. And now, when that happened… the thought that Pam wouldn't have been grateful for his intervention couldn't be more belated. 

Luckily, Roy showed up at the end of the day; when the security took him out of the building, it was almost the time to go home. Jim tried to catch Pam and talk to her, but again, Dwight was first; he insisted on walking her home, in case of other attacks. She probably was too dumbfounded and tired to protest, and in Dwight's presence, Jim couldn't talk much. They both saw her off to her sister's dorm; Dwight left almost immediately, but Jim stayed longer, looking at the windows and wondering which one was Pam's. 

Both of them remained Pam's chaperons until Roy had finally left the city in a week. But, after his leaving, for two more weeks, she had been receiving phone calls that had made her hide in the bathroom to have a good cry. The whole month had passed before she stopped flinching at every loud noise. 

It was the month of significant changes in Pam's life, and she kept Jim updated. She had left her sister's and had found a new place and roommates ('a nice one' and 'you'd like her; I know about your crush on Dwight, and she's basically his female version'); she also had gotten an additional job as a hostess in the restaurant in her new neighborhood ('you have to promise me never ever to order sushi there — and I'm completely serious right now'). Jim was proud of her; she had finally taken her life into her hands. 

And yet… something was terribly off. They kept their witty banter, but Jim had no idea about her real thoughts; she smiled at him, but he saw clearly that it was just a mask. The other job was obviously exhausting for her, and yet she never said a word about it. Every time he tried to point at it, she brushed him off. She shut him out; his every attempt to reach her was turned down with a quip or another excuse; and he didn't risk to push her to be frank with him. Pam had never called him out on his trick on Roy's car, and Jim had never mentioned it. Somehow, even when he was far away, Roy's shadow still stood between them. 

As the months before, Jim and Pam went from work together. Jim's only solace was that they did it every day instead of twice a week; this and the fact that their ride together lasted one station longer. But the rest… Jim hoped that one day he would become more than a friend to Pam; instead, he remained 'just a friend,' even less than that. 

They went down the escalator and waited for the train. When it arrived, Pam sat on the bench and closed her eyes. Jim stood nearby, clutching the handhold, as he did almost every day. He knew that in an hour, her second shift would begin; Pam used that ride to take some rest before going to work again. All he could do was to give her some peace. 

The train jerked, and Jim felt as something warm landed on his knuckles. He looked down and saw Pam, resting her temple on his hand. 

Jim stood still, not daring to move and wake her up. Pam's head had quite a weight, but he thought about butterflies — one wrong movement and the ephemeral wonder would fly away. So he just stood there, savoring that moment, but her station appeared too soon, and Jim touched her shoulder carefully. 

Pam startled at the touch, blinking sleepily. 

'Oh my gosh, I'm sorry,' she said, a blush of embarrassment covered her cheeks. Jim shrugged as nothing had happened. 

'Well, that's my leave. See you later, Jim!' she stood up to get to the exit. 

'Take care of yourself, Pam,' said Jim instead of his usual goodbye. 

'I will,' she smiled sadly and disappeared among the crowd. 

Jim brought his hand to his face, still feeling her warmth and softness on his skin. For the first time in the last month, she relied on him — quite literally. 

He wished her to be independent. 

Unfortunately, she also became independent of him.